TONI Episode 82 | Maritoni Fernandez Recalls The Most Painful Part Of Her Journey Battling Cancer
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00:00.0
Nakilala bilang primer kontrabida sa pilikula-telebisyon si Maria Carmen Fernandez o mas kilala natin bilang si Marie Toni Fernandez.
00:19.9
Nagsimula sa pagiging isang showbiz columnist hanggang sa na-discover ng isang talent manager na siyang naging daan para pasukin niya ang mundo ng showbiz bilang atista at commercial model.
00:28.9
Dahil sa mestiza at fierce look niya, mas madalas siyang makas bilang kontrabida.
00:33.9
At naging paboridong leading lady ng mga batikang action stars noong dekada 90 kagaya ni Action King na si Fernando Paul Jr.
00:41.9
Masayang gabi, Pilipinas! Ang makakasama natin ngayong gabi.
00:45.9
She is a cancer survivor for more than 20 years.
00:49.9
We have here with us Mrs. Marie Toni Fernandez-Dairid.
00:54.9
Meron na finally no?
00:56.9
Yes! Kasi for the longest time, Marie Toni Fernandez.
01:00.9
But this time you're blessed with a loving husband, happy family.
01:07.9
Yes, you're enjoying your best life now.
01:10.9
Pero hindi kasi, parang it was 2001.
01:13.9
When everybody knew that you went through something challenging health-wise.
01:19.9
2001, you were diagnosed with?
01:23.9
Actually, pagka-give birth ko kay Lexi.
01:26.9
Wala kang one year old yung baby?
01:27.9
Wala pa. It was right after nga I gave birth.
01:31.9
When I was strong enough to get, di ba I get postnatal check-ups?
01:34.9
It was during one of those that I felt it.
01:37.9
Nakapa ko siya sabi ko.
01:38.9
Masakit noong hinahawakan niya?
01:41.9
Para nga siyang pag nagganyan ka sa knuckle mo, parang ganyan.
01:45.9
Yung walang feeling?
01:47.9
Basta may blood lang?
01:48.9
Tigas lang, maliit.
01:49.9
Kasi inlaki lang ng fingernail ko dito sa pinky.
01:54.9
Tapos eventually, noon tinanggal.
01:56.9
Kasi inlaki na na pala noong thumbnail ko.
02:01.9
Hindi, nakakapa mo lang sa labas.
02:03.9
Kailan siya pinatanggal?
02:06.9
So noong 26, 27, 28, 29, 30.
02:11.9
Hindi niyo pinapansin.
02:13.9
Kasi nga sabi ng doctor, nothing to worry about.
02:17.9
So sabi ko naman, okay, nothing to worry about.
02:19.9
Baka naman buko lang, di ba?
02:21.9
Ah, hindi na kayo naghanap ng second opinion?
02:25.9
At saka hindi naman ako sinabihan na get a biopsy.
02:30.9
So okay, kinalimutan ko.
02:34.9
So okay, kinalimutan ko.
02:37.9
Siyempre may anak akong maliit.
02:40.9
Doon muna ako nakafocus.
02:42.9
And then noong nagkasakit yung mom ko.
02:45.9
Siya yung nagkasakit.
02:46.9
She was already in Makati Med for magsi six months.
02:50.9
Eh ako yung tagabantay.
02:51.9
Alam mo yung out of boredom.
02:53.9
Sabi ko, okay, magagawa ko dito.
02:56.9
Sige na nga, pa-check up, blood work.
02:58.9
Alam mo yung wala lang akong magawa.
03:01.9
Ginawa ko x-ray, all of that.
03:03.9
Kasi siyempre, on mom's bill.
03:06.9
Di ba? So nandun na rin lang.
03:08.9
Sabi ko, okay na to.
03:09.9
Sige, magbabayad.
03:11.9
So isasabay ko na.
03:14.9
Then noong magsi-check out na siya,
03:16.9
naalala ko lang, grab your results.
03:19.9
So tumakbo lang ako.
03:20.9
As in, it was in my duffel bag.
03:24.9
I just grabbed all my results, stuffed it there.
03:26.9
I didn't even look.
03:27.9
Hindi ko tinignan.
03:29.9
Sinaksa ko lang sa bag.
03:30.9
Kasi nga ang focus kay mama.
03:32.9
Then, a few weeks later,
03:34.9
nag-decision yung family na
03:36.9
pag second opinion siya sa states.
03:39.9
When we got there, the doctor
03:40.9
took one look at my mom
03:43.9
well, we know it's not
03:44.9
what they're telling you in Manila.
03:46.9
Turns out talaga, it was just
03:48.9
a bad case of walking pneumonia.
03:50.9
So gamot lang, gumaling na siya.
03:52.9
So while you're going through that,
03:58.9
Never mong in-open?
04:01.9
At that time, it was focus talaga kay mama.
04:03.9
So kailan mo binuksan yung fight?
04:05.9
Nung nandun na kami.
04:08.9
Sa Amerika mo pa binuksan?
04:14.9
Out of the blue lang,
04:15.9
sabi ko sa tito ko,
04:18.9
I felt a lump on my right breast
04:21.9
several years ago, sabi ko.
04:22.9
Pero sabi naman nila,
04:25.9
Sabi niya sa akin,
04:27.9
okay, it's probably nothing.
04:29.9
They're probably right.
04:30.9
Kasi bata ka pa nga.
04:32.9
But in the US, we don't take chances.
04:34.9
Yun na'ng sabi niya.
04:36.9
Dun ko lang naalala
04:37.9
that I have the results.
04:39.9
And then I said to him,
04:40.9
Tito, I have my results.
04:42.9
Sabi niya, oh come, show it to me.
04:44.9
Yung nakita ko right there.
04:45.9
And then the next day,
04:46.9
may appointment ako sa ospital.
04:48.9
Ano yung nakasulat dun sa results?
04:50.9
Meron silang tinatawag na
04:55.9
yung danger level.
04:57.9
Parang ganun yung box.
05:01.9
level 5 yata or something.
05:04.9
Basta mataas yung level.
05:06.9
Hindi ko nga maintindihan kung ano yun.
05:08.9
But when my tito saw it,
05:10.9
he said, ah, biopsy na to.
05:15.9
And then we did an open biopsy
05:18.9
gumawa siya needle biopsy
05:19.9
and then immediately within 24 hours,
05:24.9
Tinanggal na nila.
05:25.9
Kasi from the biopsy, nag-positive.
05:28.9
Immediately open na yun.
05:29.9
Nag-positive for?
05:31.9
Positive yung cancer.
05:33.9
Positive malignant type.
05:35.9
Ay, narinig mo yung word na malignant?
05:37.9
Hindi ko nga alam kung ano yun.
05:38.9
Kasi, di ba, 30 lang ako.
05:40.9
Alam ko lang malignant is bad.
05:42.9
Hindi ko alam na cancer.
05:44.9
Ah, hindi sinabi.
05:45.9
Hindi rin sinabi kung anong stage.
05:48.9
Because you don't find that out right away.
05:49.9
You need to do a lymph node test.
05:52.9
Na may pang-test.
05:54.9
They removed all the,
05:55.9
yung tinatawag nilang,
05:56.9
kung ito yung lump,
05:57.9
they have to remove around it
05:59.9
to clear the area of cancer.
06:02.9
And that's the part that is mahirap na.
06:04.9
Kasi after that, waiting game.
06:07.9
You have to wait and see if,
06:10.9
yun, anong stage.
06:12.9
Kung nag-spread na ba sa ibang areas ng body.
06:16.9
Awan and just naman.
06:18.9
No lymph nodes were positive.
06:24.9
basically, the treatment to follow
06:29.9
Not necessarily chemo.
06:31.9
Yun yung napag-usapan.
06:33.9
Parang, kasi 31 ka pa lang,
06:36.9
pwedeng maging aggressive yung cancer.
06:39.9
Kasi nga, you're young.
06:41.9
But on the other side,
06:45.9
mabilis ka mag-recover.
06:47.9
Kasi nga, you will heal faster.
06:50.9
okay, so what are the options?
06:53.9
They would do, back then,
06:55.9
bagong-bago pa lang yung lumpectomy.
06:58.9
So, they're not going to remove the whole breast.
07:02.9
Okay ko doon, diba?
07:04.9
So, they'd save as much of the breast as you can.
07:08.9
they would do radiation therapy
07:14.9
ang sabi niya ganito,
07:15.9
pag walang chemo,
07:17.9
kasi negative naman yung lymph nodes,
07:19.9
nasa 80% na of survival for five years.
07:23.9
Kasi up to five years lang ang studies eh.
07:25.9
There's no long-term studies back then.
07:29.9
if you do not do the chemo,
07:31.9
you have an 80% survival rate
07:34.9
for up to five years.
07:36.9
If you do the chemo,
07:38.9
it goes up to 95.
07:46.9
I'll take the extra 15%.
07:50.9
Masakit ng chemo?
07:54.9
Hindi masakit yung actual injection.
07:58.9
Ang masakit yung side effects.
08:01.9
Kasi chemo actually is a combination
08:04.9
of different drugs.
08:06.9
They are exclusively patterned
08:09.9
doon sa sakit mo.
08:11.9
sa type ng cancer mo.
08:14.9
they will come up with a concoction
08:17.9
specifically for you.
08:19.9
So, yung ginawa nilang parang mix,
08:23.9
yun yung para sa cancer ko,
08:27.9
type ng cancer na meron ako.
08:32.9
Sinabi na sa'yo kung anong stage yun?
08:38.9
after the surgery of removing,
08:41.9
meron pang next surgery
08:43.9
natatanggali naman yung lymph nodes.
08:45.9
Doon nalalaman kasi,
08:46.9
ang lymph nodes pala,
08:48.9
ang dami ko natutunan.
08:49.9
O, diba? Kami din.
08:51.9
Yung lymph nodes pala
08:52.9
acts like the fuse box
08:56.9
Ano yung balik sabihin?
08:57.9
Kung balik sa machine, diba?
09:02.9
meron fuse yun, diba?
09:04.9
Pag pumutok yung fuse na yun,
09:06.9
malala na yung problema.
09:09.9
doon sa fuse box lang,
09:12.9
ano yung tawag doon?
09:13.9
Yung AVR or whatever,
09:14.9
kung may voltage regulator ka,
09:18.9
Hindi naman masisira yung TV,
09:21.9
Yun yung parang guard,
09:23.9
safety net ng TV mo,
09:25.9
para hindi yung TV mo yung
09:29.9
lymph nodes mo sa katawan,
09:31.9
yung pala yung box.
09:33.9
So, pag sira na doon,
09:37.9
lumagpas na pumasok na yun sa
09:41.9
Pero kung dito pa lang,
09:43.9
wala pang positive.
09:48.9
Dito lang sa parting to,
09:51.9
hindi pa siya nag-travel sa main part
09:55.9
So, big blessing, diba?
09:57.9
Na pag sinabi nilang,
09:58.9
oh, all your lymph nodes are negative.
10:00.9
Ibig sabihin noon,
10:03.9
Hindi pa siya nag-travel to
10:06.9
other parts ng katawan mo.
10:08.9
Then they gave me a protocol,
10:12.9
dahil kahit negative lahat,
10:15.9
baka may dormant, may tulog na
10:19.9
I-chemo na natin to.
10:20.9
Kano katagal yung chemo?
10:24.9
ang bigay nila every three weeks,
10:28.9
And ang protocol na binigay sa akin,
10:31.9
ang pinili pa nila,
10:32.9
yung pinaka-toxic na gamot,
10:34.9
na talagang pinaka-strong.
10:36.9
Kasi nga, bata pa ako.
10:38.9
Ang pinaisip nila sa US,
10:42.9
siguraduhin natin na
10:44.9
patay lahat ng cancer cells.
10:46.9
Ang binigay ba naman sa akin,
10:48.9
pang 200 pound na Amerikano.
10:51.9
So within four hours of the injection,
10:54.9
parang akong gulay,
10:55.9
hindi na ako makatayo sa kama.
10:57.9
Masakit mo ang katawan mo?
10:59.9
Ang feeling niya talaga is
11:01.9
kung kailangan ko talagang
11:02.9
i-describe in layman's terms, no?
11:04.9
Yung para maintindihan.
11:06.9
Hindi siya, ano eh,
11:08.9
hindi siya pain per se.
11:10.9
Para siyang closest na ma-describe ko,
11:14.9
pagbubuntis na sobrang selhan.
11:16.9
Alam mo yung sukanhan-suka,
11:18.9
hindi ka ma-hihilos,
11:22.9
masakit ang katawan.
11:24.9
Pagsama mo yun sa pinaka-worst na trangkaso
11:26.9
na naramdaman mo na.
11:27.9
Gano'n ang feeling.
11:29.9
hindi pa tapos yun.
11:30.9
Yung worst hangover.
11:31.9
Oh, so hindi mo talaga ma-ano?
11:33.9
Hindi mo na alam yung feeling.
11:35.9
Hindi mo na alam.
11:38.9
masakit ang ulo mo,
11:39.9
hindi magpunta sa banyo,
11:40.9
hindi mo kaya kasi
11:41.9
uwabali ka, diba?
11:43.9
Gano'n ang feeling.
11:44.9
Pati yung good cells mo,
11:47.9
So ano yung good cells mo?
11:48.9
Wala yung buwok mo?
11:51.9
Yeah, walang-wala.
11:53.9
As in, one day nagising ako
11:54.9
pag ganyan ko sa hair ko,
12:00.9
Oo, syempre, kinilabutan.
12:03.9
matapang ako eh, Ton.
12:05.9
I have a very strong personality.
12:07.9
I'm a strong character.
12:10.9
wala na ako sa magulang ko.
12:11.9
You know what I mean?
12:12.9
So, I had to build up.
12:13.9
Kung bagay yung naniniwala ako
12:15.9
na lahat na nangyari sa akin
12:16.9
noong kabataan ko,
12:18.9
na inalaw ni Lord.
12:20.9
Pinirepare ka for this?
12:23.9
So, noong nakita mo, wala?
12:24.9
So, noong nakita ko,
12:25.9
katabi ko pa yung anak ko,
12:27.9
She was only six.
12:28.9
Syempre, noong nakita niya,
12:29.9
ganyan siya kagad sa akin.
12:30.9
Diba, yung parang
12:31.9
siya yung natatakot.
12:32.9
So, I had to play it
12:34.9
Siyempre, mami niya yun eh.
12:36.9
So, ginawa akong game.
12:40.9
How much it can take?
12:42.9
You have to be quick.
12:44.9
Kasi baka ma-ano siya.
12:47.9
Baka ma-trauma siya.
12:49.9
So, kailangan on the spot ka.
12:50.9
Baka mag-worry siya ng,
12:51.9
what's happening to my mom?
12:52.9
Actually, ganun talaga.
12:55.9
Sabi ko, no, no, no, no.
12:59.9
It's gonna grow back.
13:04.9
Emotion muna ng anak ko.
13:17.9
ang nasa mind mo is,
13:20.9
split second yung,
13:22.9
Kasi tingin mo kagad
13:23.9
yung nakaganyan sa'yo.
13:25.9
parang sasagasaan ng kotse.
13:27.9
Yung look na yun,
13:29.9
So, yung automatic,
13:32.9
No, no, no, no, no.
13:36.9
this happened 20 years ago,
13:37.9
but when you talk about it,
13:41.9
it's not about me that I cried.
13:43.9
It's the memory of
13:46.9
And what she was feeling at that time.
13:49.9
Hirap sa namin yun eh.
13:54.9
pero yung makita mo.
13:55.9
Ako kasi matapang ako, Todd.
13:59.9
Lahat nga ng inutos ng doktor,
14:08.9
Hinarap ko na eh.
14:11.9
diba you go through the five stages of grief?
14:15.9
Acceptance na ako eh.
14:22.9
Pag sinabihan ka na cancer.
14:24.9
Akala mo may death sentence na.
14:27.9
When you're that age,
14:28.9
cancer equals death.
14:31.9
Kahit naman anong sabihin ng doktor sa'yo.
14:34.9
ano naririnig mo pag sinabi cancer?
14:37.9
Katapusan na ng buhay.
14:40.9
Bago pa ako nagkasakit,
14:41.9
Christiana na ako.
14:44.9
wala na akong fear about kunsan ako pupunta.
14:49.9
Pero yan ako six years old pa lang.
14:52.9
Kailangan niya ng mommy.
14:56.9
pag iniwan ko ba,
14:58.9
yung magpapalaki sa kanya, okay.
15:01.9
Will they love her the same way I loved her?
15:06.9
Who will love her the same way that I do?
15:09.9
Yun ang fear lagi ng mga lalang.
15:10.9
And kahit na alam mo deep in your heart,
15:16.9
will love her like you.
15:22.9
rando ka na sa stage where
15:23.9
you have to face it eh.
15:25.9
You have to pick the next best
15:30.9
And that's what hurts.
15:32.9
In fact, one of my
15:34.9
most, my most traumatic memories
15:39.9
after a chemo session,
15:41.9
nandun ako sa kama.
15:42.9
I think second ko yun.
15:44.9
Nandun siya sa dulo ng bed.
15:46.9
Hindi ako makagalaw.
15:49.9
Sabi niya sa akin,
15:50.9
Mommy, are you dying?
15:52.9
Okay, sabi niya sa akin.
16:02.9
May sick nga lang,
16:04.9
Diba pag sick ang mommy nila?
16:06.9
Oo, anong sabi mo?
16:10.9
Of course not, baby.
16:13.9
Even though you don't know.
16:17.9
So sabi niya nung sinabi mo,
16:18.9
I'm not happy na ulit siya?
16:21.9
Hindi siya naniniwala.
16:22.9
Alam mo naman eh,
16:24.9
you can see from their eyes
16:29.9
Naramdaman niya siguro.
16:30.9
Eh kasi nga connected kayo eh.
16:33.9
Nafeel niya yung binagdadaanan mo.
16:37.9
sa bed nagsnuggle,
16:40.9
alam mo si Lexi ganyan eh,
16:42.9
she's not like me,
16:44.9
I'm outward ako eh.
16:49.9
may pinagdadaanan.
16:51.9
Ganoon siya mag-process.
16:53.9
She keeps it to herself.
16:54.9
Sometimes it's not healthy ha?
16:57.9
But that's a side effect
16:58.9
of having witnessed me eh.
17:02.9
brave and strong.
17:05.9
Ganoon ang side effect sa bata
17:06.9
pag nakita nilang ganoon ng mami.
17:08.9
every little thing she thinks,
17:13.9
Like if she'll get
17:17.9
Oh papatid ko siya.
17:18.9
Di have brain cancer mami.
17:21.9
Alam mo feeling ko na trauma siya.
17:23.9
Kasi six years old siya eh.
17:24.9
Kasalanan ko yun.
17:26.9
Hindi, hindi mo naman kasalanan yun.
17:30.9
at the time kasi I had a choice
17:31.9
of not exposing her.
17:36.9
Parang in hindsight now,
17:38.9
there's a part of me that wishes
17:40.9
na hindi ko siya inexpose.
17:42.9
Kasi I see how she is now.
17:45.9
during that time naman kasi
17:49.9
hindi ako makasurvive.
17:55.9
parte siya nung process
17:57.9
kung paano nawala si mama.
18:00.9
Ayoko naman maging yung
18:01.9
suddenly out of the blue
18:03.9
sabihin siya nawala na si mama.
18:06.9
that was a very difficult
18:08.9
Conscious decision.
18:09.9
Natest ba yung faith mo
18:10.9
when you were going through that?
18:12.9
Yung faith ko natest
18:14.9
na ayoko na siyang paniwalaan
18:19.9
Yung faith ko natest
18:22.9
all-knowing ka diba?
18:25.9
kailangan ako ng unang ko.
18:31.9
Pero yung for me,
18:39.9
Lord, kung talagang ito yung will mo,
18:41.9
bigyan mo naman akong peace
18:45.9
Kasi kung iiwan ka yung baby ko,
18:53.9
that you're thinking about.
18:54.9
Will she be okay?
18:57.9
Paramdam mo naman sa'kin
18:59.9
that she's gonna be okay.
19:04.9
You didn't get mad at him?
19:05.9
You didn't question him?
19:07.9
Never ako nag-galit ka,
19:09.9
Never ko kinuestion
19:14.9
I don't do drugs.
19:15.9
Clean living ako.
19:21.9
I'm doing my best.
19:25.9
ang tinanong ko lang sa kanya is,
19:27.9
ano yung purpose mo dito, Lord?
19:30.9
ano yung endgame mo?
19:40.9
And your plan is not to harm me.
19:46.9
Pakita mo sa'kin.
19:51.9
When you're going through the storm,
19:53.9
hindi mo makikita.
19:55.9
It's when the storm clears,
19:57.9
then you will realize the purpose.
19:58.9
And that wasn't until years later, Ton.
20:03.9
yung purpose ng pinagdaanan?
20:04.9
Yung purpose na-reveal is,
20:06.9
nung nandito na ako,
20:11.9
nung nandito na ako,
20:15.9
friends would come to me,
20:17.9
pa'no ka nagpagaling ganyan?
20:20.9
I would drink supplements
20:23.9
kasi second supplement
20:26.9
that cut my recovery
20:31.9
Pa'no mo nadiscover?
20:37.9
Usong-usuyan ngayon.
20:38.9
Ako nagdaling yan dito.
20:41.9
Pa'no mo nadiscover yan sa barley?
20:43.9
Nung may sakit ako,
20:46.9
na binibigay nila
20:48.9
nakakulong ako sa kwarto.
20:49.9
Nilagyan nila ako
20:53.9
Kasi kahit na sinong pumasok
20:57.9
pwede akong mamatay.
21:00.9
ang inalaw lang sakin
21:04.9
Nandun ako sa room.
21:05.9
Twenty-one days kang nandun,
21:10.9
may level kasi yung
21:11.9
white blood count
21:12.9
na dapat ma-reach mo.
21:15.9
wipe out lahat yun.
21:18.9
You're running on negative
21:19.9
white blood cells.
21:20.9
Mabagsak ang immune system.
21:24.9
Hindi lang bagsak.
21:31.9
for explanation's sake.
21:33.9
Ang normal na tao,
21:35.9
may five na white blood cells
21:38.9
Panglaban sa mga skin.
21:41.9
hindi ka lang masi-zero,
21:44.9
running on negative ka.
21:50.9
So, pag kami pumasok na
21:55.9
Wala na panlaban eh.
21:58.9
Yung between chemos.
22:01.9
pag nag-chemo ka,
22:05.9
may natural ability yan
22:07.9
na mag-produce ng white blood cells.
22:09.9
Pero, it takes time.
22:16.9
nung first chemo ko,
22:21.9
Kasi, twenty-one yung next chemo.
22:23.9
tsaka lang ako nag-reach
22:26.9
na pwede na akong tumanggap
22:31.9
kakarecover mo pala.
22:35.9
yung white blood.
22:38.9
Grabe yung journey.
22:40.9
and pag hindi ka umabot
22:41.9
dun sa threshold,
22:44.9
day twenty-one na,
22:45.9
eh negative pa yung,
22:46.9
hindi mo pa nari-reach yung five.
22:48.9
Five yung threshold,
22:50.9
For the immune system.
22:51.9
Nung immune system mo.
22:52.9
Kasi pag hindi ka five,
22:58.9
So, kailangan talaga
22:59.9
within the twenty-one days,
23:04.9
Eh anong gagawin mo
23:05.9
para mabalik sa five?
23:07.9
para tulungan ang sarili mo?
23:09.9
Ginagawa mo naman lahat
23:10.9
na nang sinasabi ng doctors.
23:11.9
Doon ako nag-research.
23:16.9
there has to be something
23:18.9
na hindi more drugs,
23:20.9
hindi more medicine.
23:27.9
Hindi siya yung...
23:28.9
Yung kulay green.
23:35.9
maliit pa lang siya.
23:36.9
Twenty to thirty centimeters pa lang siya
23:39.9
So, na-harvest na.
23:41.9
ang na-research mo?
23:44.9
nung nakita mo yun?
23:46.9
sinabihan ko yung
23:47.9
family na nag-aalaga sa'kin
23:50.9
na kabila niyo ako dito?
23:52.9
patago pinasok sa'kin
23:55.9
yung doctor ayaw,
23:59.9
tuwing ibibigay sa'kin
24:00.9
yung medicine ko,
24:04.9
nakatulong talaga?
24:08.9
bago nag-recover.
24:09.9
Yung second chemo ko,
24:12.9
Balit na agad yung immune system mo.
24:15.9
Dahil dun sa iniinom mo yun?
24:19.9
ready na ready na ako
24:22.9
the fourth chemo.
24:23.9
So, bumilis yung process.
24:27.9
meron talagang something
24:28.9
dun sa iniinom ko
24:31.9
recover ng katawan.
24:32.9
Yun ang na-discover mo.
24:35.9
Yun ang na-realize mo,
24:36.9
maybe this is the purpose
24:37.9
why I had to go through this.
24:41.9
So, ikaw ang nagdala
24:42.9
ng barley sa Philippines.
24:44.9
You discovered it
24:45.9
while you were going
24:46.9
through your chemo.
24:47.9
And the reason why
24:48.9
you can talk about
24:51.9
it's from your own experience.
24:55.9
So, throughout my journey,
24:58.9
to keep me afloat.
25:01.9
after my journey,
25:03.9
my prayer was purpose.
25:06.9
kung bakit mo hinayaan
25:07.9
mangyari ito sa akin.
25:08.9
Ano yung dahilan?
25:10.9
Ano yung gusto mong
25:13.9
from this experience?
25:16.9
Akala ko drugstores.
25:23.9
I came from church
25:24.9
with my daughter.
25:29.9
with my daughter,
25:34.9
As we were leaving,
25:35.9
may lalaking lumapit sa akin.
25:38.9
And sabi niya sa akin,
25:39.9
kayo po ba si Miss Marie Toni
25:43.9
So, I knew right away,
25:45.9
Kasi normally, diba?
25:47.9
Kayo po ba si Marie Toni?
25:48.9
Pwede magpa-auto-vlog
25:49.9
or pwede magpa-photo.
25:53.9
Hawak niya yung laptop niya.
26:00.9
Sabi niya sa akin,
26:01.9
I'm from this company po.
26:05.9
sell your barley.
26:08.9
sobrang, no, no, no.
26:09.9
I'm not interested.
26:12.9
okay na ako dun sa drugstores.
26:15.9
Tingnan mo how the Lord works, ha?
26:17.9
Him and his family
26:18.9
were also members
26:19.9
of the same church
26:23.9
That I attended at that time.
26:24.9
Divine connections.
26:25.9
Divine connections.
26:27.9
Siya talaga ang nag-connect-connect
26:29.9
ng lahat for you.
26:32.9
Kaya naniniwala ako na
26:33.9
ang most important na prayer
26:39.9
Lord, bigyan mo ko nito.
26:43.9
gusto ko ng ganyan.
26:45.9
Ang pinaka-important na prayer
26:49.9
ano yung will mo sa buhay ko?
26:52.9
Saan mo ko gusto?
26:55.9
maraming pintuan eh, Ton.
27:01.9
sa buhay na isang tao.
27:03.9
Pero alin ba dyan
27:04.9
yung galing sa Kanya?
27:05.9
And paano mo malalaman?
27:10.9
kung hindi galing sa'yo, Lord,
27:15.9
Alam mo ba kung ilan na,
27:16.9
in my 35 years in showbiz,
27:19.9
alam mo ba kung ilan na
27:20.9
yung mga project na
27:24.9
biglang nawawala?
27:30.9
Hindi yun sa'yo eh.
27:32.9
align ka sa Kanya lagi.
27:33.9
Kailangan sabihin,
27:34.9
everyday ang prayer mo,
27:37.9
your will be done.
27:38.9
So when people hear your story,
27:40.9
what do you want them to see
27:43.9
I want them to see,
27:48.9
natural sa akin to, eto.
27:54.9
Pero when you get to know me,
28:02.9
my heart is for Christ.
28:04.9
I want them to know that,
28:15.9
ang pinaka-importanting bagay
28:17.9
sa buhay ng isang tao
28:20.9
obedience to God.
28:24.9
kaya naman natin,
28:25.9
a lot of things you can attain
28:31.9
Kaya mong gawin ang paraan.
28:33.9
Kaya mong dayain.
28:37.9
isa lang ang way na,
28:41.9
Na walang problema,
28:42.9
walang sakit ng ulo.
28:50.9
pahirapan ka muna talaga niya.
28:52.9
Kasi kailangan niyang,
28:53.9
i-prepare ang heart mo.
28:55.9
So pag may pinagdadaanan tayong masakit,
28:58.9
mahirap sa panahon ngayon,
28:59.9
dapat pala magpasalamat tayo
29:01.9
because this is a preparation.
29:03.9
For a bigger blessing that's coming.
29:05.9
What we have to do now,
29:06.9
is to pass this test.
29:08.9
Hindi lang natin nakikita pa.
29:12.9
Alam mo yung puzzle?
29:14.9
Yung jigsaw pa isa-isa.
29:15.9
Hindi mo nabubuo,
29:16.9
hindi mo pa alam.
29:17.9
Lalo na kapag wala kang picture nung puzzle.
29:19.9
Ang labo nung image.
29:21.9
Pero pag tapos na,
29:26.9
Yun pala yung dahilan.
29:29.9
So ang gusto ko talagang
29:32.9
yung take home nila
29:33.9
from our conversation,
29:37.9
be patient with the Lord.
29:42.9
Huwag kang bibitiw.
29:44.9
Lalo na pag mahirap.
29:48.9
When it's easier to let go,
29:50.9
when it's easier to question Him,
29:52.9
when it's easier to say,
29:54.9
Yun yung times na dapat na
30:01.9
Faith is being sure of what you hope for
30:03.9
and certain of what you do not see.
30:07.9
testing of the faith.
30:09.9
Testing of the faith is
30:12.9
going through difficulties.
30:15.9
And now it's your testimony.
30:17.9
Yung test naging testimony.
