TONI Episode 47 | Interracial Love Stories: How They Make It Work Despite Cultural Differences
00:26.4
So what was that like being married for 15 years?
00:29.6
That was perfect!
00:46.3
Magkakasalamat sa akin sa Lushmila一下.
00:48.5
Yung bullying ng partezan yang noong dekade.
00:51.9
So what was that like being married for 15 years?
00:54.6
Well, for me, it doesn't really, like, feels too long.
00:58.9
I feel like 15 years was just a moment ago.
01:03.6
Kung baka we just celebrated just one year anniversary, tapos ngayon 15 na.
01:09.3
Paano kayo nag-meet?
01:10.6
Nasa USA kami, then I'm working in a Japanese restaurant, and there we go.
01:15.0
Sabi ng manager ko, there's a new pretty girl na, mahinar siya.
01:20.9
Then, on the first day, I'm the one who first introduced myself.
01:24.4
Like, hello, I'm Eric.
01:30.1
We become friends in the restaurant, so that's how relationships started, and then.
01:36.1
I was in America only for three months.
01:39.5
So I didn't have long time to really...
01:41.7
Kasi exchange student lang siya noon.
01:43.4
I was exchange student from Russia.
01:45.5
So I was in my last year of college, and I decided to learn English.
01:50.6
So I went to America, and I met Eric there in my job.
01:54.8
After a few weeks, I asked her, like, oh, do you wanna go out or, like, go bowling?
01:59.2
At first, parang, no, parang siguro alam niyo na yung aking agenda, pero siya kasi
02:05.1
So after a few weeks of pursuing her, so, nag-friend, we become good friends, and it
02:15.5
Yon na, nagtuloy-tuloy na.
02:17.5
So kailan mo na inamin, na parang, from dating, na you like her, attracted, na parang,
02:21.3
oh, I love you, I have feelings for you.
02:23.3
Siguro yung ano na, yung pabalik na siya ng Russia.
02:25.3
Yeah, I had to come back.
02:26.3
So doon ko na nafeel, at first akala ko, it will not last, because alam kong babalik
02:29.9
na rin siya after a month, pabalik na siya ng Russia, and we might not see each other
02:34.7
So doon ko na feel na parang, I think this is the right girl for me.
02:40.0
So, yun na, I say I love you to her before pumunta niya siya ng Russia, then after that
02:45.8
sabi ko, I will commit that I will give all the time, like, call her every single day.
02:53.9
For seven months.
02:55.5
Constant communication.
02:56.5
Constant communication talaga.
02:59.1
So what was that like when he finally admitted na mahal ka niya?
03:03.2
Actually all the way in the airplane, I was crying, kasi doon ako naramdaman talaga
03:08.1
ng, wow, I will miss talaga this guy, and I was torn.
03:13.5
What I'm actually feeling and what I was, I didn't understand how can I act about it.
03:19.6
Kasi first time naramdaman ko talaga, like, wow, it was not just a regular vacation, you
03:26.4
know, you have fun, and it's gone.
03:28.5
Yeah, you can just forget about it, it was fun.
03:31.5
Sinabi mo na yun sa family mo and friends mo that you're in love with this person, a
03:37.1
It was hard to tell my mom, of course, I'm very close to my family, to my mom, and to
03:41.9
tell her, like, I'm in love with a Filipino guy, it was very, very hard.
03:47.7
For Russian, Filipino is like Chinese, okay?
03:50.7
They don't know what's Filipino.
03:52.7
Parang isa lang ang Asian.
03:54.7
So then, I gradually tell them, oh, he's calling me every day.
03:59.4
So of course, my parents, they didn't force, like, oh no, stop calling or something.
04:04.3
But they want to see, like, how serious we are.
04:07.2
And yun, after seven months, he invited me to visit here in the Philippines.
04:11.9
Anong feeling nung una kayo nagkita?
04:13.9
Yes, of course, diba?
04:14.9
After seven months, so talagang yung parang naiyak ka, nakikita mo na ulit siya, na hindi
04:19.9
mo akalain kasing magkikita ulit kayo.
04:22.9
Kasi totoon eh, pumunta siya sa'yo eh.
04:24.9
Saan ka nag-propose dito?
04:28.9
Nag-underwater, ano kami.
04:29.9
So I think of something na hindi siya...
04:36.5
Pero sinabi ko condition, like, I cannot say yes unless he will propose to my parents.
04:41.5
Kasi sa Russia, we have also the same tradition as Philippines.
04:46.5
Yes, you need to go to the parents and you need to ask the hand of the girl, and you
04:51.5
need to get their blessing first.
04:55.5
Kumunta kayo Russia?
04:58.5
Kamusta yung na-meet mo yung parents niya?
05:00.5
Actually, very quiet yung mama and dad niya.
05:04.1
Hindi nila ako masyadong...
05:08.1
Parang very welcome.
05:09.1
Very welcome na nila ako.
05:10.1
In terms of what my parents did, I think it's heroic.
05:16.1
Kasi you don't know what's gonna happen in the other country with your kid.
05:22.1
Paano mo yung itrust to a guy who just show up.
05:26.1
Total stranger to them, oo.
05:31.1
It was a happy moment he came.
05:33.1
It was a very happy moment.
05:34.1
But the same time, it was very sad for me kasi I had to choose between my family, my
05:39.1
culture, and siyempre man, the guy that I love.
05:42.1
So naramdaman ko yung kahit ngayon, I was leaving kasi we were getting a visa.
05:48.1
Actually, you're getting emotional just thinking about it.
05:51.1
I think it's pregnancy, sorry.
05:53.1
No, it's because the sacrifice you made.
05:56.1
Yeah, but until now, I remember how I felt like I love my mom, and then it's not easy
06:02.1
task to do for any...
06:05.1
21 when you got married?
06:08.1
I was very young.
06:11.1
To make that decision was not easy for me kasi I knew that I will not have the back
06:17.1
I cannot just, okay, if you get married and it didn't work out, you can just run to your
06:22.1
parents' house, complain, or you can do something.
06:25.1
I did not have that luxury.
06:29.1
So for anyone who will think that interracial couples are fun and it's something you can
06:36.1
It's like a fairy tale?
06:37.1
Yes, or like, oh, you can marry a foreigner.
06:39.1
It's not that easy.
06:40.1
You have to consider the things that you will miss or you will not have those luxury of
06:47.1
There's something you have to give up for this love.
06:50.1
Oh, so for me, what I felt that time, it's either leap of faith, I have to jump to that,
06:57.1
or I have to just back out and forget about it.
06:59.1
Pero alam mo yun, what she was willing to give up for you.
07:05.1
Nakita ko naman na talagang family and me.
07:08.1
It's the family, my culture, my country, or this guy?
07:15.1
So yun, nakita ko, ano talaga ako nun, wow, this girl gave up a lot of things for me.
07:22.1
So I need to back it up.
07:25.1
I need to prove that her decision is the right decision.
07:30.1
Parang it's a leap of faith na gagawin niya sa'yo.
07:33.1
Yung buong trust niya, yung buong future niya, ibibigay niya sa'yo.
07:38.1
Kamusta nun nagsama kayo sa bahay?
07:40.1
Hindi ganun kahirap.
07:43.1
Kahit raising interracial kids, yun, yun ang may challenge na siguro.
07:48.1
Kasi iba yung ways mo in Russia, iba yung ways ng Filipinos in raising their kids.
07:53.1
As we said before, all our differences, we're trying to convert it into positive things.
08:01.1
So basically, kung ano meron siya sa culture that I don't have, like he's trying to teach.
08:07.1
So meron siya ng points that I'm not good at.
08:10.1
So he's the one who's gonna teach.
08:12.1
Meron ako something from Russian culture that I bring to the table for the kids.
08:17.1
And I'm the one who teaches them.
08:19.1
When it comes to the kids, anong Filipino values ang gusto mong makuha ng mga anak mo?
08:24.1
Well, siguro yung nagpapuha kasi sila, so very respectful naman sila.
08:30.1
Sa Russia naman, from your culture, what do you want your kids to adapt or to get?
08:36.1
I want them always to feel that they're always welcome in the house.
08:41.1
We're always gonna support their dreams.
08:44.1
So yun ang gusto ko talaga nakuha sila from my personality to them.
08:50.1
So I want them to feel that I love them no matter what's gonna happen.
08:56.1
For you, what's the best decision you ever made in your life, Eric?
08:59.1
Of course, marrying her.
09:02.1
That's one of them, of course.
09:03.1
I think I will not be the same person if it's a different girl.
09:07.1
I will not be on what I have right now.
09:11.1
Talagang ayaw eh.
09:12.1
I push myself to be worth that guy.
09:16.1
And what makes your relationship work?
09:22.1
Kasi there was so many cases in both our lives in these 15 years.
09:31.1
If I don't have the faith in God that I have, it will be too hard for me to get through.
09:38.1
If I will just rely on who I am and who Eric is or whatever it is.
09:43.1
Circumstances sometimes, it's hard to believe you can go through further.
09:49.1
We had times we don't know how to pay for things.
09:56.1
A lot of people, they see right now success, what we have right now.
09:59.1
But what we go through before, nobody can see.
10:02.1
Nobody can see how many failures I had.
10:07.1
And those failures, they just made us so much stronger.
10:11.1
Thank you very much, Eric and Anna, for sharing your journey and your story with us.
10:17.1
And another lovely couple ang ating makakasama ngayong gabi.
10:20.1
Let us all welcome Kyra and Chris Wagstaff.
10:26.1
You speak Tagalog, no?
10:29.1
But how long have you been together?
10:32.1
Almost 10 years now.
10:35.1
Paano ba nagsimula yan?
10:37.1
Nako, Kyra, ikuwento mo naman sa amin.
10:41.1
Nag-OGT ako doon and he was there for placement as well for university.
10:46.1
What were you doing in the US?
10:48.1
I was basically a chef intern.
10:51.1
It's really for work.
10:53.1
But si Chris is really from?
10:57.1
Okay, so how did you meet?
10:59.1
Dinala siya sa party ng birthday ng Mexican friend namin.
11:03.1
But I didn't talk to him.
11:05.1
Because I was shy.
11:07.1
So what was your first impression with Kyra?
11:12.1
To be honest, I had my eyes on her from walking in.
11:16.1
Tulog ko nga naman itong si Kyra.
11:19.1
Naispatan ka na niya.
11:21.1
I like her already.
11:23.1
What made you fall in love with her, Chris?
11:26.1
Just the way we communicated.
11:33.1
Her making me chase her probably made me want to pursue her even more.
11:36.1
When did it become official?
11:38.1
Your boyfriend and girlfriend, did he ask you?
11:40.1
Or you just talked about it?
11:42.1
I think it was a couple of weeks before I left.
11:45.1
Yeah, it was just a couple of weeks before you leave.
11:47.1
Together lang kami.
11:49.1
Not official lang couple.
11:50.1
Like two weeks, three weeks.
11:52.1
Super short lang.
11:54.1
So nung aalis na siya, paano nang naging pag-uusap?
11:57.1
So ayun, LDR kami.
11:59.1
Long distance for how long?
12:04.1
And then once a year lang kami magkita for one month.
12:09.1
What was the most challenging part for you during that five years of being LDR?
12:14.1
I think mainly time difference.
12:18.1
Especially when I was working and studying and Kyra was studying as well.
12:21.1
It's finding that gap of time where we can kind of like talk to each other.
12:25.1
The connection was very constant during those five years.
12:28.1
Yeah, it was naman.
12:29.1
Tapos kasi like during some time around that five years,
12:34.1
nagde-juggle pa siya ng three jobs while in university para makasave to fly.
12:40.1
So like grabe talaga yung effort niya and I appreciate it naman talaga.
12:44.1
This guy can give me everything.
12:47.1
Yun ang priceless.
12:49.1
Kasi yun ang hindi kaya bayaran ng kahit anong amount ng pera.
12:53.1
It's the effort that he showed you that he's willing to fight for the relationship.
12:56.1
Where did you get married?
13:00.1
How is the wedding for you here in the Philippines?
13:03.1
It's really nice that we had a lot of people there.
13:05.1
The thing that I didn't get though was like in England you have like a big after party for the wedding.
13:10.1
As soon as the food had finished, everyone's gone.
13:15.1
So when did you have a baby?
13:20.1
2021? Oh, bago lang.
13:23.1
So how is it? How was the relationship when you finally had a baby?
13:27.1
He became a lot more patient.
13:30.1
You have to have patience.
13:32.1
Yeah, in a good way.
13:34.1
He's super hands-on. Kasi kami lang eh. Kaming dalawa lang. Wala kami.
13:39.1
Ang galing no? So he really adjusted his whole life.
13:42.1
To be with you, to build a family with you, to have kids with you.
13:46.1
What do you appreciate the most about having a Filipina wife?
13:49.1
She looks after me well, like really well.
13:54.1
When I wake up, there's a coffee there ready for me.
13:58.1
You know, it's just simple things like that, small things.
14:01.1
She's got a lot of patience with me.
14:02.1
The small things or the big things?
14:04.1
She's got a lot of patience with me.
14:05.1
What are you most grateful for in your life right now?
14:09.1
Maxwell. Definitely Maxwell.
14:12.1
Ikaw naman, after everything that you guys have been through?
14:16.1
I'm just grateful that he stuck with me through everything.
14:22.1
As in literally everything.
14:25.1
He didn't leave, he didn't give up.
14:28.1
Hindi na ako makakahanap ng katulad niya.
14:33.1
Someone who would love me like how he does.
14:38.1
At saka may dawan talaga na talagang ipaparamdam sa'yo yung
14:43.1
who would love you the way you're supposed to be loved.
14:47.1
Thank you so much, Kyra and Chris, for sharing your love story
14:51.1
from different countries to different cultures,
14:54.1
pero bounded by love.
