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Hi people of the Philippines and people of the world.

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Let's keep talking.

Kaibigan, tuloy ang usap.

Reb, maraming salamat for your time.

Maraming salamat.

I'm happy to see you.

Ako din.

I looked forward to this conversation.

Ang tagal na natin hindi nagkita ama.

Kaya ngayon, ang gagawin natin ay yung aming tinatawag na The What Interview.

Ay.

Lahat ng aming mga katanungan, except for the follow-ups, ay nagsisimula sa What.

Reb, what are you when you're alone?

I believe that when I commune with God, I need to be still and feel His presence.

I ask for quiet time.

It's very important for quiet time for me to get that inspiration.

You know, it's very hard to be a creative every day.

So sometimes you need to pause and think about what you're doing also.

What makes you happy, Reb?

My wife makes me happy.

Wonderful woman.

Yes, wonderful. Very strong.

My dog. I love my dog.

Pag nagpipinta ka, masaya ka?

You know, my experience in painting is sort of trance-like.

Especially when the music is on and I'm listening to it and I'm just lost in the colors.

I'm just lost in the aesthetics.

I'm lost in what I want to do.

And then biglang, oops, it's done. It's finished. What did I do?

Halimbawa, this powerful red painting.

What is the story?

The story is I was trying to paint colors from my series called Dreaming of H.R. Ocampo,

which were orange, yellow, Indian red.

So I tried that and then I saw it.

I saw the flowers and I decided to paint over it.

Red to me symbolizes many things, but first and foremost, it's the blood shed by Christ for me.

And love. Unconditional love.

That piece is interesting, Reb.

I was thinking of, you know, everybody has coy paintings.

And I was like, how can I do it in a minimal kind of way and have some movement in the work?

So the process was also printing, putting canvas face to face and sliding it.

I think the oriental feel of this painting was, I think I was successful in my eyes.

I think so.

Yeah.

I think so. This gave me the idea.

Okay.

This gave me particularly the idea.

Okay.

There's nothing to do with coy.

Okay.

But I wasn't sure about it until you said it.

Yes, yes, yes.

So I got that.

Yeah, yeah.

So I didn't want to make it a literal kind of, because, you know, in art, everything has been done.

Everything has been done.

Nothing is really new.

Nothing is really contemporary or, but it's the moment.

It's the time.

It's where you say, this is the time I felt this way.

This is the time I wanted to paint these images.

That makes it personal.

Yes, it makes it personal.

What happens when you paint something and when you look at it, you say, I'm not happy?

I rest.

I have to rest.

I have to have that clear mind to reach what I want.

So if it's ugly to me, I put it aside sometimes for years.

Then I go back to it.

And then I adorn it or I do something with it where I paint over it.

What do you know about love?

Nothing.

I learn every day.

I learn from the people, my friends.

I learn from my wife.

I learn from my family.

I learn from my mom.

My mom, the biggest influence in my life.

The beautiful divina.

The divine one.

The divine one.

And vis-a-vis my wife also.

My wife is responsible for what I am right now, from hitting rock bottom and where I am right now in my life.

What is life like without Vale?

I can't imagine life without her.

You know, my life's an open book.

People may have opinions.

We know how people talk about us.

We know how people can be judgmental.

But it's unconditional love.

It's friendship.

Do you care?

No.

Not at all.

But it had been a journey, Reb, because you were a child star and you are from a business where people care, are told to care, where people have to be approved.

So that journey from there to today, when you don't care, what has it been like?

Not caring.

I never did care anyway.

That's why I think...

Even if you were in the business of caring?

Yes.

Like, I think one of the things that got me, that there was a cabal, I think, against me or something, was because I had no filter.

I would say what I wanted to say then.

But, you know, being a depressive, I have mental illness.

I suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.

Here, they say it's bipolar, depressive.

Okay.

But I have an antidote.

I sleep.

And after I sleep for a few days, I'm back in the saddle again.

So I help myself.

So helping myself is not caring.

So what is your response to rejection today?

Oh, redirection.

It's just redirection.

You're rejected here.

Okay, I'm going here.

I just remember what Oprah said.

You know, when you're rejected, it's God's way of saying, not there, turn left and turn right.

Yes, yes.

You're probably destined to be there.

Exactly.

And especially when people now talk about respecting one's journey and loving one's destiny.

Yeah.

Reb, what hurts you?

Injustice, betrayal.

What can't you forget?

And what can't you forgive?

I can't forget the death of my Ninong, FPJ.

Tell us why.

Because he was like my father.

He treated me like his son.

I grew up making films with him.

He sent me to school, to the United States, when he knew that I wasn't really doing well.

He said, go to the States and study there.

What I can't forgive are those people right now in this space.

I don't want to say this person's name, but the disrespect, the utter disrespect and no facts.

Because I should have known.

I would have known.

It still triggers me.

And when you're triggered?

And when I'm triggered, I cry.

I dream about him a lot.

Reb, what is the best thing about you?

I'm a loving person.

I love unconditionally.

The biggest misconception about Duran Reb Daliasa, what is it?

I went crazy.

Yeah.

I'm still a drug addict.

27 years of debauchery and drug use.

Of course, I don't deny it.

But I've been 14 years sober.

Yeah.

So that's my past.

It's still the same.

What do you do?

Do you fight back?

Because it's tiring to be defensive about something that's as massive an accusation as you're crazy.

Sometimes it comes from the people closest to you.

But when you hear it from other people, like who don't know you from Adam.

It's different.

It's different.

It's different.

Like when you're eating in a restaurant and you're being accused.

That happens to you?

There are a lot of situations like that.

That you're the one being accused?

Exactly.

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Katulad noong time na nakablue akong sapatos.

Tapos may pamilya, kumakain kami ng kaibigan ko.

Tapos sabi noong bata doon sa tatay,

Bakit po blue yung sapatos niya?

Eh bakla yan eh.

Kaya blue yung ano, huwag kang lalapit siya.

Sabi ko, bakit si Elvis Presley nakablue suede shoes?

Elvis yun, diba?

Napikon.

Gusto mo kay pagbugbugan?

Tara!

Wala nangyari, dito nangyari yun sa Tomas Moda to,

In a Japanese restaurant.

So ganoon, may mga taong ganoon eh.

I wanted to correct them.

I wanted to say, no, it's not like that.

You're wrong.

Yes.

But, will they listen?

What is fame to you?

Using your lens today.

It's a double-edged sword.

It can be toxic.

Very, very, very.

And it can, it's very bad for your ego and your id, you know?

Sometimes, you might believe what they write or say about you.

And I don't.

I really don't.

It's really fleeting.

This media campaign that we just did,

I'm so happy about it because

there's more interest.

Before, I had shows nobody would write about.

I would always, you know, just keep it low-key.

You know, I've been playing with the band Color It Red for about 20 years.

I'm a part, quasi-member of the band.

I play harmonica.

And I also sing backup for Cookie Chua.

There was one time I opened an exhibit and no one came.

And this was in Conspiracy Cafe.

And Cookie said,

Where are they?

Because they were so used to this big party,

this big party.

And I go, I don't know.

And then, two years later,

after four more exhibits,

they came.

And it was a drop of a key.

And I said, Cookie, they're back.

I don't know what happened.

Maybe God blessed me.

Maybe they saw the light that was coming out from me.

What are you first?

Are you a painter, actor, actor-painter?

I'm a painter.

But even as an actor, you are a painter.

Yeah, but like they say,

you can't use the word artist loosely

if you don't practice your vocation.

I practice. I paint every day.

So what do I call myself?

What will I box myself in?

I think I can call myself an artista.

And people forget that I'm a trained actor.

Yes.

I learned from the greats.

I worked with national artists,

directors, actors,

Eddie Romero, Ismael Bernal,

Fernando Po, Jr.

What is it about acting that you miss the most?

When I know that I've moved a person.

Like I did theater with Bart Gingon,

A Kiss of the Spider Woman, years ago.

That was immediate.

The feeling on stage

and audience giving you the love

or being entertained

or they're enjoying themselves.

That was one of the most, you know,

happiest, best time for me.

What matters the most to you now?

My health.

I think we all realize that.

Yeah, at a certain age,

especially I have a stent in my heart.

I've had heart problems.

I've been having hypotension.

It's scary. It's scary.

What is it like to be a child of God?

Oh.

See, that's it.

You close your eyes and you're just like.

You breathe.

You breathe and you feel the love.

That's it.

Yeah.

What is your family like?

We're crazy.

I love that. Crazy bunch.

Crazy bunch. We're a crazy bunch.

And we all accept that.

We all have our highs, our lows.

We endure all these challenges

that we are faced with

as a good, modern family

because my wife's ex-husband

is also my good friend.

And the kids are like my own kids.

So we're a modern, crazy family.

What is it that you don't have today

that you still want?

Not more money,

but just to be able for me

to pay for my health insurance every year

because I value my health

and that will continue my life.

You're not afraid of death?

The process, I'm afraid of.

But I've accepted the fact that it will happen.

I just pray every night that,

Lord, I just want to wake up tomorrow again

because it just feels like yesterday

that I was alive,

like when I was born.

So I'm 54,

but the way I think is like 17 or 21.

It's still like that.

What is the biggest dream

that remains unfulfilled?

Oh, to travel more.

To travel more.

I used to backpack my way through Europe

when I was 19, 20, 21.

I stopped traveling when I was like 35.

Inahabol ko ngayon yung experience.

What other human beings can teach me?

What culture can I get from?

Is there kindness in their culture?

Is there love?

And how do they love?

What is heaven to you?

I imagine heaven to be a place of love and light.

I don't know.

Heaven can be here.

Heaven is here.

It's just how you look at it.

It can be here

and the opposite of it.

What about hell?

I'm afraid of hell.

I always question myself.

Mabait ba akong tao?

Pag nakita ko ba si San Pedro,

titila ako ang kanyang mano ko?

Hindi ako papapasukin,

napapapasukin.

What is your love language?

Touch.

I cry when I tell people I love them.

Reb, what would you do if you were to die

right after this conversation?

I hope that I am welcomed by Jesus Christ

and embraced in His arms.

Yan lang.

Face to face with the great divine of God.

Wow.

What would you tell Him?

Am I worthy to be here?

To speak to you.

What would you write on your epitaph?

It's a Broadway play,

Here Lies Love.

Here Lies Love.

Last question.

I want to go back to the restaurant

where that man and his child.

And the wife.

And the wife,

looking at your blue pair of shoes.

Paul Smith.

And then, was it the child who asked

why he's wearing blue shoes?

And the father said,

because he's gay.

Yes.

To that man who said it,

what do you want to say?

Is that what you're teaching your son?

To ask and give the wrong answer?

That, I hope you look at me first

before you judge me.

Thank you, Reb.

Thank you.

I love you, Father.

I love you so much.