00:45.2
But this is also a mental and emotional issue.
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Malaking effect po to sa ating mental and emotional health.
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Do you agree? Type agree if you do agree.
00:54.1
So if you are going through this process,
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I want to help you to,
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look at options on how you can recover from this.
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So I want you to get a piece of paper and a pen and I don't want to have any distraction.
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I don't know how long this session will take.
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Pero I will try my best na matulungan po kayo.
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And the reason why I can say this with authority because I used to be in that situation.
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And by the grace of God, nakalabas po ako.
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So I want to help you to get out also.
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So number one, kung gusto nyo talagang makalabas talaga sa ganitong sitwasyon,
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you need to learn yung acceptance and self-compassion.
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When you say acceptance, tanggapin mo talaga na, yun nga, nagkamali ka.
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Itong importante, yung parang ang hirap talaga tanggapin minsan na nagkamali ka.
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At minsan, to the point that you are blaming yourself, diba?
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Yung parang, ang tanga-tanga ko naman, ba't ko ginawa yan?
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Ba't ako pumasok dyan?
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Ngayon, parang sobra ka nang nagsisisi.
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Pero let me tell you,
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let me tell you this, lahat.
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Everybody say lahat.
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Lahat tayo ay nagkakamali.
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We have made some lapses.
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Ang importante kasi hindi yung pagkakamali.
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Ang importante siguro, kung anong ginawa natin sa ating pagkakamali.
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So if you are kind to forgive other people, let me tell you this,
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be kind also and compassionate towards yourself.
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Tanggapin mo na nagkamali ka at yun nga, be compassionate to yourself.
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That's number one.
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After you have already accepted, sige, nagkamali ako, sige, I need to be more, not hard on myself, diba?
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Number two, ano na gagawin ko?
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Set realistic expectation na.
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Kasi meron tayong expectation na reality.
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Kung pupwede lang talaga sa lahat ng ating problema, ang expectation natin sana instant, tapos, wala nang problema.
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Pero ang reality, that recovery takes time.
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So kailangan talagang pwedeng buwan, pwedeng taon, hindi natin alam kung gaano tagal.
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Pero during this process talaga, it would lead you to a lot of anxiety and pressure.
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Pero kaya nga importante, be patient.
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Patience is key para ikaw ay makalabas dito.
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Take it one day at a time, one day at a time.
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Hindi natin pwedeng isipin ulit yung nakaraan.
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Hindi po, kasi hindi na natin pwedeng maguhin.
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Hindi rin natin pwedeng isipin ng kinabukasan, ano na ang mangyayari sa akin sa future ko.
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Paano kung hindi ko kaya? Paano kung pagalitan ako? Paano kumurahin ako?
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Huwag mo muna isipin yan.
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Ang isipin lang po natin araw-araw, paano ka magsasurvive, paano ka mag-iisip na ikaw ay makakalabas at ikaw ay makakabayad sa sitwasyon na ito.
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Okay? That's number two.
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Number three, third practical thing na pwede mo nang gawin, umupo ka.
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And just be myself.
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Be mindful muna with your spending habits.
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Ang unang gagawin po natin na control mo, control mo is cutting down on your expenses.
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Yun parating sinasabi kong bawas-dagdag method.
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Bawasan muna natin ang mga non-essential. Why?
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Because every peso counts.
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Every money that you spend right now counts.
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Like for example, sacrifice talaga tayo. Sacrifice in the sense na wala mo nang kakain sa labas.
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Ipangkakain mo sa labas, itatabi po natin yan.
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Ipagbabayad po talaga natin yung utang.
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Sacrifice talaga eh. Wala. Ganun talaga eh.
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Tatanggalin muna natin mga impulsive buying. Diba?
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So ia-allocate po natin karamihan po ng ating pera saan sa pagbabayad po ng utang.
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I hope that you will make that decision because this is one of the recovery process.
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And the fourth thing that you can do right now, create a solid budget and financial planning.
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Kailangan nakalista na talaga magkano income mo, magkano din lista mo sa ginagastos mo.
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Kailangan po may budget ka na susundin.
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Hindi ka dapat gumastos pag wala sa budget because you cannot spend the money that you do not have.
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Hindi na pwedeng katulad ng dati.
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Wala. May lifestyle change talaga.
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If you do not change your lifestyle, if you do not change the way you do things, it will never change.
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So my question to you is this.
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Are you willing to do whatever it takes for you to get out of this?
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If you say yes, okay.
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You have to start doing this.
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And number five, okay.
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Build a support system.
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Magkaroon ka ng support system.
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Yung mga pinagkakatiwalaan mong kaibigan, paaming members who can really give you emotional support and encouragement.
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Yung parang kailangan po natin yung mga cheering squad na talagang,
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Hindi, kaya mo ito.
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Susuportahan ka namin dito.
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Hindi ka namin iiwanan dito.
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Lalo na kung may pinagdadaanan ka.
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Ang sarap ng pakiramdam kung alam mo may sumusuporta, may tutulong sa'yo at meron ka rin dapat mahingaan ng sama na loob.
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Utang to another person.
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I don't think it's the main solution.
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Ang importante, meron kang support system right now.
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Especially sa pinagdadaan mong mental and emotional health mo.
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Alam po mahirap to pero bear with me.
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I've been in this situation.
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That's the reason why I can understand how you feel.
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Number six naman po.
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Ang pwede natin gawin is stay positive.
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When you say stay positive,
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I know it's so hard to become positive in a negative situation.
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May mga iba naman siguro sabihin nyo,
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I know toxic positivity na yan.
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If you say toxic positivity na yan,
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Magiging negative na lang tayo?
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Kaya nga, no matter how small yung nagawa mo,
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Nagawa mong pagbabayad ng utang,
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Kahit 500, 1,000.
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Celebrate milestone.
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Parang you try to tell yourself,
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Yes, palapit na, palapit na ako.
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Because I'm moving towards the right direction.
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Nagbabayad ako ng utang.
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I know it will take me years probably to pay this off.
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But I'm very optimistic na I'm on the right path.
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Ang important, it's not how fast.
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It's if you are moving towards the right direction.
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And then next also,
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Pag hindi mo na talaga kinakayanan tong,
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Pag hindi mo na talaga kinakayanan tong sitwasyon mo na ito,
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I think it's time for you to also seek professional help.
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Get a financial counselor or even talk to a therapist already.
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They can give you guidance not only on the financial aspect,
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But also on the mental and emotional aspect.
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As I mentioned to you,
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May hirap gumawa ng desisyon kung ang isipan mo ay gulong-gulo.
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You need an outsider to tell you right now and guide you to give you assurance.
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Na tama yung ginagawa mo.
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Ang kailangan mo ngayon talaga, again,
07:53.4
Support and assurance right now in your situation.
07:57.4
Type agree in the comment section if you do agree.
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And then number eight,
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Para sa mental and emotional help mo on a daily basis,
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Practice gratitude.
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When you say practice gratitude is focus on the things that you do have
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And do not focus on the things that you do not have.
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Focus on the things you can do.
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Do not focus on the things that you cannot do.
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Focus on the things that you can control.
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Do not focus on the things that you cannot control.
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Every single day, magpasalamat ka.
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Magpasalamat ka na buhay ka.
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Magpasalamat ka na may opportunity for you to pay.
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Opportunity for you to earn pa more.
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Because believe me, believe me,
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I've been there through that.
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Pagkatapos ng bagyo, sisikat niyo ng haring araw.
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This may take a few days, a few weeks.
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Lalo na yung bagyo.
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Pero after the few days of storm,
08:51.4
The sun will shine.
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So, importante po, matuto tayong magpasalamat.
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And number nine, ito lang po.
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Importante rin po ito sa part of your healing process.
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Is avoid self-blame.
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Again, huwag mong sisisihin na yung sarili mo.
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Yes, it's okay for you to take full responsibility.
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Which you did already on the first part.
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Pero huwag na huwag po natin sisihin ng ating sarili.
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Ba't akong pumasok dito?
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Ba't ako nagpaloko?
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Ito lang sasabihin ko po sa inyo.
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One thing that I've learned in life is this.
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You cannot change the past.
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But you can sure change the future.
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By making the right decision today.
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I've also blamed myself in the past.
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But it did not do me well.
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Kaya nga, I don't want you right now.
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Ikaw nakikinig at nanonood sa akin ngayon.
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I don't want you to blame your past.
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Yes, it is your responsibility.
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Yes, you took ownership already.
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But again, this is a mistake that we need to learn from it.
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And then we need to try to move on.
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Move forward ka na.
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Hindi ka makaka-move forward kung parati mo sinisisi sa sarili mo.
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Para magkaroon tayong light at the end of the tunnel,
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I want you to visualize this.
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Visualize that you are already debt-free.
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Create a mental image of your life na wala ka ng utang.
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Imagine how it feels like when you are financially free.
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Alam mo, kagandahan po nito.
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Pag naisip mo na ito, ay wala na akong utang, masaya na lahat ng mga tao.
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This can really motivate and inspire you to stay committed to your goals.
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At anong goal mo?
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Ang goal mo is makalaya sa utang.
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Ito yung two more and we're going to be done.
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Pero yung number 12, ang pinakamahalagang.
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Huwag kayong aalis, huwag taposin nyo na ito.
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I want you to embrace a lifestyle of simplicity.
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Ngayon, dating bumibili ka na maraming makeup, wala ka mo nang bibiliin.
10:58.4
Dating nagta-travel ka, huwag ka mo nang mag-travel.
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Oo, kasi hindi yan ang priority natin.
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Ang priority po natin ay makabayad sa utang.
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Pero chinky pa, ano naman yung kailangan ko naman ng self-care?
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Okay lang yung self-care.
11:10.4
In a more practical and simple way.
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Hindi mo kailangan mag-travel na malayo.
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Kahit na mag-retreat ka na lang sa isang lugar dito sa Metro Manila o sa inyong probinsya.
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Ang importante talaga is to achieve what we call as peace of mind.
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Last but not the least, ito yung pinakamahalaga as I mentioned to you
11:31.4
para makarecover ka mentally and emotionally sa utang mo.
11:36.4
Learn how to forgive yourself.
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Let go of any guilty and shame associated with the bad decision that you made.
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I do believe forgiving yourself is the most difficult
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but is the most powerful step toward emotional healing and recovery.
11:55.4
Ang problema kasi ganito mga friendship.
11:58.4
Minsan ang bilis magpatawad ng ibang tao.
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Minsan mas madali pa humingi ng tawad sa ibang tao.
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Pero ang pinakamahirap talaga, pinakamahirap mga ka-friendship
12:12.4
is patawarin ang iyong sarili.
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So, kung ikaw hindi mo pa nagagawa yun, hindi mo pa nagagawa yun,
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I suggest you do it.
12:26.4
I suggest na forgive yourself.
12:30.4
Kasi kung hindi mo pinatawad ng iyong sarili, you're too hard also on yourself.
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Again, you're not compassionate.
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It will be difficult for you to move on.
12:39.4
In conclusion, remembering that recovering from death is not just about money.
12:46.4
It's regaining the peace of mind and the emotional well-being.
12:51.4
Kaya nga, if you follow itong 12 steps na ito, 12 things na ito, kung ano man that works for you,
13:00.4
this will be a more holistic and a sustainable approach
13:04.4
na hindi lang iisipin mo paano makabayad sa utang, paano rin pamamalagaan,
13:09.4
pangangalagaan ng iyong mental and emotional health as of this moment.
13:14.4
So, there's two requests that I would like to do.
13:18.4
If you really like this video, itong video na ito, you know it helped you.
13:23.4
Number one, please comment and share. Comment and share.
13:27.4
Comment kung ano yung natutunan mo, how it helps you in your healing process.
13:32.4
Number two, also, i-share niyo itong video na ito to people, you know,
13:37.4
who's going through tough times na wala silang makausap, na hindi nila alam kung ano gagawin.
13:44.4
Lost sila. I do believe this video will help. Do you agree?
13:48.4
And if you need, and if you need extra coaching, coaching and counseling,
13:55.4
please reach out to me, reach out to me, and we'll help you find a group.
14:00.4
We'll help you find a group.
14:01.4
A community who can really help you also in your journey, in your journey.
14:08.4
Alam kong mahirap ito, but let me tell you this, you cannot do it alone.
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And this community will not be a judgmental community.
14:16.4
This will be a safe environment where you can really express, okay, kung ano man pinagdadaanan mo without any judgment.
14:25.4
Lahat po tayo ulitin kung nagkakamali.
14:28.4
So, if anyone of you is interested,
14:31.4
okay, to join the community, just type interested, interested for those people lang sa comment section,
14:39.4
and we will try to reach out to you, okay?
14:43.4
Sana naman nakatulong tong episode na ito.
14:45.4
I know medyo mahaba-haba ito, but it's a must.
14:48.4
And I know that God will speak to you through this video.
14:52.4
Tatandaan, tamang karunungan, tamang disiplina ang susi sa pagyaman.
15:01.4
Thank you for watching!
