Diego opens up about why he left showbiz and got into rehab in 2018, how this led him to realize he's ready to have a kid and what he looks forward to with this brand new life.

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🎵 Music 🎵

Ang tagal ko nawala eh.

Hindi nga.

Prior to the pandemic and everything, I was gone for a couple of years.

So for me, I feel like it's forever already.

Kano katagal ko nawala?

2018, yung huli ko sa DOS and then two years ako nawala.

Ah talaga, 2018 ka nawala?

2018, I came back 2010.

Five years.

Pandemic. So five years for me, that's what it feels like, five years.

I haven't said thank you for having me.

I can't believe I'm actually here, to be honest.

Sabi ko, kamusta na kaya si Diego?

Nasaan na kaya siya?

Tapos nalaman ko, oh, daddy ka na ngayon.

Yes, yes.

It's been a while.

So I'm sure ang dami nang nabago from the last time.

Oh, definitely.

Music

Bakit, bakit nawala?

Okay.

I took a break.

From?

Everything?

Everything.

Because?

2018 was a tough time for me.

Emotionally?

Yes.

Mentally?

Even before, mentally, spiritually, everything.

Pati career-wise?

Career was okay.

I was shooting Los Bastardos noong time na yun.

So pwede ko nga sabihin na, if anything, my career was on the rise noong anoong time na yun.

Noong 2018?

2018, but...

Career was good?

Career was good.

It was just tough.

It was pretty difficult for me.

With things going on outside of showbiz din.

Yung personal life?

Personal life, yeah.

So, yeah, it was a much-needed break.

Kaso nga lang, ang pagbabalik ko noong 2020, nag-pandemic naman.

Anong ginawa mo noong pandemic?

I was in Antipolo with my mom.

And that's where we spent a good eight months to one year.

Together?

Together.

Until I moved back into my unit in QC.

I think that was a bonding that I had with my mom na parang...

Sana naman hindi, pero parang hindi na maulit-ulit.

Yung parang everyday magigising kami, kakain kami magkasama.

We work out.

She taught me how to do yoga.

Lagi kami nasa garden.

Parang we don't have the time anymore to do that.

Di ba?

Like, we don't have a big break like that anymore.

So, pinalaki ka ng single mom?

Yes.

Two boys.

I have a kuya pa.

Six years older than me.

Tingin ko yung mga bata na lumaki sila, na nakita nila,

mag-isa silang tinaguyod ng mami nila.

Mas iba yung pagmamahal respeto.

Oh, I can agree.

Sa nanay nila.

That's true.

Kasi nawitness nila eh.

Mm-hmm.

Nihirap.

Nawitness mo yung hirap.

Mm-hmm.

And ang anak kasi emotionally connected yan sa nanay.

Mm-hmm.

Kahit na hindi sinasabi sa'yo ng nanay mo,

when she's going through something, you can feel it.

Oo naman.

Sensitive ang mga bata eh.

Mm-hmm.

I know that because I have a boy.

Mm-hmm.

And he's seven now.

And congrats also.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Congrats also to you!

Thank you!

My hands are cold, sorry.

Yeah, thank you.

Ilang months na yun sa'yo?

Five.

Five months.

Sleepless nights.

Sleepless nights.

Yeah.

But, yeah, nakita.

Oh my!

Sabi ni Diego, gumanon.

No, me ah!

Me!

Not you!

Not you!

Sabi ni Diego, sabi niya,

oh, nakita na sa mata ko, sleepless nights.

No, of course not.

That's the best yung ulo na ganyan ng newborn.

Ganyan pa.

Naiisip ko when your daughter was born.

It's a rebirth of you.

Yeah, that's true.

I mean, I can't say na just because I saw my child,

I'm perfect now.

Because after this interview,

if I make a mistake the next week,

oh, look, he's a hypocrite, di ba?

I think as humans, we're still learning each step of the way.

Pero yes, I read nga somewhere na,

for the women, they feel it the entire nine months, eh, di ba?

Until one day, the baby's there.

For the dads, it's like,

okay, you're pregnant, parang hindi ka pa feel, okay.

Oh, ito na, your water broke, okay, here comes the baby.

It's in an instant na parang, my whole life just changed.

There's this baby na, now I have to prepare.

And for the women, they get that.

You feel everything.

So, saludo nga talaga sa mga moms.

It's different, but in the same sense,

I'm also trying to be the most supportive dad that I can be

for the mom and my baby, syempre.

So, when you look at your baby,

what do you see?

I think I see me.

You see you in what way?

Physically?

I see baby me, eh.

Yeah, physically.

And then also, I guess,

and I don't mean this in any bad way,

I didn't really grow up, you know,

with, in one household with my dad.

So, parang when I see my baby, parang I'm already doing something

that I didn't get to experience myself.

Again, I don't mean that in a bad way.

It's not like naman my dad had a choice, di ba?

We moved away, eh.

So, it's scary.

Pero may sinabi ka ata dun sa caption mo sa IG na,

I don't know if this is the whole context, na hindi mo ipaparamdam sa kanya

yung naramdaman mo nung bata ka or yung naranasan mo nung bata ka.

Yeah, I think I said, like, I promised to give her the things I didn't have.

Ano yung the things that you didn't have?

A father.

It was my partner, the mother of my child, who told me na sobrang importante pala din yung ages 1, 2, 3,

toddler stage, until mga 8, 9 years old.

Formative years.

Yes, that's where they really build the character.

I met my dad, I was 13 na for the first time.

I was a different person, kaya kami nagkakolide noon.

It took me to reach 28, or it was a couple years ago, to finally understand my dad as a human,

as a parent, as a father, as everything.

And now, sobra kami nagkakasundo.

I don't want my daughter to go through lang that also.

Now, me and my baby mama, we're not together living in the same roof like partners.

I call her my partner because obviously she's my partner.

Hindi kami kasal, if you get what I mean.

Pero hindi ko ipaparamdam sa anak ko yung naramdaman ko.

When I was growing up, I never really thought na I was looking for a father figure.

But as I got older, I realized, ah, yun pala yung kulang.

That's why there was sometimes like a question mark on how I should do things.

My character, what do I really want?

I guess you pick that up from the dad.

And I want to be there for my daughter.

I want her to, oh, ito yung mga hobbies ko.

If you like this, you know, try what I do.

If you don't, whatever you do, you like, I'll support you.

We almost share the same birthday, which is funny enough.

She gave me pa my day. May 21 ako.

May 20 siya?

May 22.

She went into labor 10pm on my birthday.

So I spent the night of my birthday in the hospital with my partner.

Ironic, di ba?

She gave me pala one day.

Best gift.

Yes, exactly.

For your birthday.

You know what, ate Tones?

That was supposed to be my post.

I was supposed to either post first Father's Day or the best birthday gift ever.

Kaso nga lang, inunahan ako ng isang, I don't know if she's a tabloid or whatever here in the Philippines.

But anyway, that's off topic.

Inunahan ka sa pag-a-announce?

Sa pag-a-announce.

Ganyan sila.

Ako din, when I got pregnant with Seve, inunahan din ako sa pag-a-announce.

And you can't get pregnant?

Mga nangunguna.

You cannot get that back.

Di ba?

It's annoying.

This is my moment.

This is your, and you don't get it again, di ba?

Bakit mo kinuha yung moment na yun?

That's true, that's very true.

Di ba?

May ganun.

Yeah, it was annoying.

And then you will realize there are things that you have to let go.

Instead of holding onto that anger.

Wala ka na magagawa eh.

You can't control it.

Kamusta yun nung in-announce mo na siya?

Saka ang galing ah, actually.

Well, kasi yung iba di ba, they hide it for a year, for two years.

Ikaw?

No, I was excited.

I was ecstatic to post, actually, to be honest.

Silang lahat yung wait lang, kalma lang.

I was like, okay, I mean, we're in a different country naman.

She gave birth in Australia.

I knew we were safe, nothing to worry about.

Walang malilik, walang mauna.

When it happened, wala din.

Like you said, I let go of it pretty quickly.

I was like, you know what, let's just do it on Father's Day.

I had to post na rin.

So now people think I came out because

somebody else leaked the information.

But no, not really.

Someone just ruined my moment.

So I had to come out and say it na rin.

Totoo talaga yun eh.

Sometimes it's nice to keep things private

because people ruin beautiful things.

That's true.

Magmamature ka din pag nagkaanak ka.

Yung parang bigla kang magsistep up.

It definitely came with it.

I pretty much started from zero again.

And I don't mind sharing that.

There's no shame in that.

I started from zero.

2020, I started working again.

Non-stop for VIVA.

Thank God for VIVA na I started working for them.

I finally built a little bit.

I was like, okay, I'm ready.

Let's go house hunting.

I don't know, it was just in my bones.

Like in my DNA na na-feel ko na rin na parang

I need to have a kid.

Parang feeling ko I need a kid here na.

I don't want to get too old.

Sumasakit na minsan yung likod ko.

I'm losing my hair already.

Hindi mo mahabol na yung anak mo?

Yes.

Ah, gusto mo na rin talaga?

I really, no.

She was planned.

She was 100% planned.

Alam din ang mami mo?

Of course.

Nagusto mo na rin?

Yes, of course.

I've been saying it to her for years.

Years.

And she just kept on saying,

basta if you're happy with your relationship with your partner,

you know, motherly advice.

Because it's a never-ending relationship na yun kayong dalawa

until the end of your times.

You will forever be connected because of your kid.

Of course.

Di ba?

No matter what happens to your relationship,

there is a kid that will connect the two of you

for the rest of your life.

Pero may nabasa ako.

Totoo ba yun?

You don't believe in marriage?

I don't believe in marriage.

Hanggang ngayon?

Yes, definitely.

Bakit di ka naniniwala sa marriage?

It's a piece of paper for me.

Ha?

Talaga?

That's how you look at it?

Okay.

Please defend.

Kunwari lang ha, you and me.

We agree on everything.

There's not a spot or a piece of line or paragraph

that we don't agree on.

Absolutely everything.

100% crystal clear.

Why must we now get it written down on a piece of paper

and then get someone else to bestow onto us

that we are now a married couple?

Ang sakin lang kasi is if ever we fight in the future

and it gets to the point na ayoko na sa'yo,

ikaw galit na galit ka na sa'kin,

it's not a big matter of having to go somewhere,

get annulled, get divorced.

Wala tayong divorce.

Pero it's because I guess growing up I grew around it so much

and I got to see it so much.

Yung alin?

Separation.

Yeah.

I mean aside from my own parents, even the...

People around you?

Yes.

They're separating?

Yes.

And until now, minsan malabo, minsan ano.

We're just doing it for the kids.

We're just...

Okay, so why'd you have to sign the piece of paper?

What do you get in the end?

What about your kids, your children?

I don't think a kid would see any difference

from a married couple's household

than someone who's living together's household.

You abide by the same rules.

Paano yung surname ng babies?

It's my surname.

Kasi pinanganak siya sa abroad, di naman dito.

So the laws of the Philippines don't apply to

getting the mom's last name.

So for you, marriage is a piece of paper?

Well, iba-iba tayo ng...

Yeah.

Di ba?

Because this is based on your experience.

Yes, yes.

Hindi namin pwedeng sabihin na mali ka, hindi tama yung sinabi mo.

Kasi hindi ko naman na-experience yung mga na-experience mo.

Yes, thank you.

Okay ba tayo ng journey?

Thank you. Thank you for seeing it that way.

But then again, ate Tones, we can talk five years from now and maybe...

Eh, pwede pa rin magbago.

Things will be different.

You know, but from where I'm sitting...

We're humans, we change every single day.

That's the only thing that is actually promised to us.

That change.

Kasi as you mature in life,

as you experience a lot of things along the way,

nababago ka, namamold yung pananaw mo.

Ito kasi based on your experience growing up.

Ito. Ito yung nangyari sa'yo.

Ito na yung pananaw mo.

Ito na yung na-observe mo. Okay.

And then eventually, you know, as you age,

hindi natin malalaman.

Maybe now, yan yung conversation natin.

Ten years from now, when we see each other,

you're married.

Di ba? Hindi natin masasabi.

Yeah, bite my tongue.

Hindi natin masasabi talaga.

That's true. I do naman agree with you in that sense.

Kasi di ba tayo, we all have our own childhood wounds, traumas that we have to heal from.

Tapos ang dream mo sa anak mo is they don't have it.

They have to heal from their childhood.

That's true.

With you as her dad.

Wow, that hit hard.

You hope one day your daughter will grow up and she doesn't have to heal from having you as her father.

I hope so.

Di ba?

I hope so.

There's nothing in this life now that I wanna do aside from if it's for her.

That's it.

I think as a dad or any parent, it's just,

it's kind of like dead set already.

Like I said, it was a moment for me when I saw her.

Goodbye Diego.

This is now my vow to you the rest of my life.

And I saw that with my mom.

How much she gave up.

She gave up so much for my brother and I.

It's kind of ridiculous how selfless it was watching her raise two boys

and then kami pa yung panareklamo na bakit ganito, bakit ganyan.

It's difficult.

It's difficult pala.

You went through a dark phase din.

Oh yeah, yeah.

And I, you know what, I'm...

Paano mo na-survive?

Or you're still surviving?

No, I've climbed out of that pit and I'm so happy that I have.

And now I can sit here in front of you and actually tell you about the story.

After two years of coming out of rehab, I wanna talk about it na.

Ba't ka nag-rehab?

In 2018, I was in such a dark point in my life.

You know, not only friends, not only family.

Even I was starting, you know, petty quarrels with random people.

There were people who were mad at me.

Parang patong-patong na.

Because hurt people hurt people.

That's true.

In rehabilitation, 2018, it took me a very long time to understand my problems.

It took me a lot longer to figure out where the problem was deriving from.

Like, what was causing my problems.

Nakuha mo yung root cause?

I did.

Ano yung root cause? Pwede mo bang i-share?

Or it's too private?

No naman ate.

It had to do with my upbringing.

The people around me.

Yung, I guess I could say my group of friends nung time na yun.

Which today, some of them are still my friends.

But it was really me.

I was the problem at that point in my life.

I was self-destructive.

Parang kapalang kanta ni Taylor Swift.

It's me.

Hi!

I'm the problem.

It limits me.

Yes, that's true.

I was self-destructive nung time na yun.

And I wasn't aware.

So nung naging aware ako, I fixed myself.

It took some time.

But in saying all this, the reason why I'm only talking about it now is

I realized din na if I can help kahit isang tao,

anyone who's watching your program, who ends up watching a video of mine,

just a single soul out there who's going through the same struggles as I was going through

back in those days.

An unending cycle of just absolute...

Darkness.

Then at least I didn't go through it in vain.

At least yung pinagdaanan ko, it was pointless.

Saan mo sila gustong matulungan? In what way?

I can explain this to them.

Actually, when I graduated, I became a counselor.

I could counsel people.

Nung nag-rehab ka, was it for alcohol?

It was because of my psychological way of thinking.

But kasama dun siyempre.

Mental health.

And at that point in my life, I became...

On the ropes of suicidal.

And substances that I was taking weren't helping that problem of mine.

Siyempre, when you drink, you become emotional, di ba?

Oo. Tapos dun lumalabas lahat ng mga inner pains.

That's it.

That you're trying to cover up.

That's it.

Paano yung healing process?

It was a long 14 months.

I found...

Religion is a difficult thing.

It's a difficult topic for me.

But I found God inside rehabilitation.

I would pray and literally the next day,

what I prayed for would be unfolding in front of my eyes.

Like?

I didn't see my mom until 8 months.

You're not allowed to see your family.

I prayed.

I was sleeping in the corridor, in the hallway.

Wala na akong bed.

On a banig.

Like as thin as that sheet of tissue paper.

So masakot sa likod?

It's just you're pretty much sleeping on the floor.

And I prayed.

I could see yung mga kabatch ko kasabayan ko pumasok.

They were all seeing their parents.

Kaso tigas ulo ko sa loob eh.

So I said, sana naman, Lord.

Makita ng mga kuyas ko.

Kuyas are the higher-ups na I'm trying.

And that very next day, I saw my mom.

As crazy as it sounds, that really did happen.

Physically, nandun siya?

Yeah. No, she came to visit me na.

I was allowed to see her.

Akala ko panaginip.

No, I was allowed to see her na for the first time.

So, syempre, iya ko ng iya.

And then, you know, I'd pray again na sana next week, I can have my first day pass.

I can go out.

Happened.

Lahat ng pinag-pray mo?

It was great.

So do mo na realize, pag nagpapray kami, nakikinig.

Anong hinahanap mo ba sa buhay mo nung time na yun?

Nung dark?

2018?

Anong hinahanap mo?

It was self-love eh.

Like, I'm a very giving person.

People who are my friends could probably vouch for me.

I don't know.

Maybe they would.

Maybe they wouldn't.

I like to give.

I'm a people pleaser, kumbaga.

They taught me inside na paano ka makakapagbigay.

A perfect example is this glass.

It's filled with water.

If your glass is half empty and you need water, if I give you some, I'm empty.

And that was me before.

I just kept on giving, giving.

I'd get a little, I'd give again.

And for me, it gave me parang a purpose for that moment.

Di ba?

I was, oh, may fulfillment si Diego.

Inside, they taught me,

Hayaan mo muna punuin mo yung sarili mo.

Let your glass fill up.

So then now, if you're overflowing, you can help others.

Your number one job is to fill your cup.

That's it.

What's inside the cup is yours.

What overflows is for them.

You cannot give.

Yung para sa'yo, binibigay mo pa sa iba.

That's it.

When I was in rehab, I wasn't happy.

I wasn't at all.

I was not happy.

But now, in hindsight, I'm like, thank the Lord.

Thank my mom that I went through that.

Even when I bond with my dad now, when we hang out, it's different.

And I guess he sees...

Ate may mga anger, no?

May galit.

But now, it's not, ate.

Nag-heal?

Everything's great.

It's so different.

I respect him and I understand him now.

There's still so many questions, but let bygones be bygones now.

Why will I still bring up the past?

Natuto ka na mag-forgive.

Yeah.

Best advice your mom gave you?

She kind of looked at what I wanted to do.

She'll give her two cents.

Magbibigay siyang payo.

Hayaan niya ako.

I guess that's why I've also adapted this way of wanting to parent my child na

instead of telling your child, oh, don't go there, madadapa ka.

I guess, hayaan mo maranasan.

Matututo na...

Ah, you want experience.

Yeah.

To be the best teacher?

To be the best teacher.

Yes.

Alam naman kung cliff yun.

Iba naman kung ano.

Of course, experience can be the best and sometimes worst teacher.

That's true.

For me.

Diba?

That's true also.

But ganun mo gustong kung paano ka?

Yes.

Hinuruan ng mami mo.

Yeah.

She let me see life how it really is.

I mean, everything's great when you learn it by the book, diba?

But then when you're really in the field and doing what you learned from the book, sometimes

you don't know what to do.

Until you go through it.

Until you really feel what it was.

Ba't ka pumasok sa showbiz?

Wonderful question.

That's kind of what I was pertaining to.

Okay.

Let's just put it this way.

Ilang taon ka ba nun?

When you entered showbiz?

14, 15.

Ako.

I was second year high school, Australian, couldn't speak a word of Filipino, of Tagalog.

I came to this country not knowing my dad was a movie star.

Hindi mo alam?

Hindi ko alam.

Na ang daddy mo si Cesar Montano?

Hindi ko alam.

Nung 14 ka?

I never asked.

Your mom?

Never asked.

She just told me he's in showbiz.

I didn't know how big of a superstar.

I didn't know he was Cesar Montano.

Ah, hindi mo rin alam ang name?

No, no, no.

Hindi ko alam yung parang...

Ah, yung magnitude ng name na Cesar Montano.

Yes, yes.

Na Jose Rizal, Muro Ami.

Yes, no idea.

One of the best actors in the country.

Diehard fans.

When we'd go up, people yelling.

I was like, what's going on?

Like, what the hell is this?

Alam mo lang Cesar Montano, actor, ganun.

That's it.

Pero hindi mo alam yung magnitude nung fame niya at saka yung status niya sa showbiz.

No, ma'am.

I was in second year high school.

I have five dollars a day for my baon nung time na yun in Australia.

Then I come here and I see my dad's loaded.

He's a movie star.

My tita Bing is very well off.

My mom, everybody knows my mom.

So I was like, okay.

In a 14-year-old's head.

This is an easy way to make money.

I should start making money already.

Do I like this?

I do.

I used to do drama in Australia.

I did a drama class.

Let's try it.

But this is without knowing a word of Tagalog.

Like, I could not.

2011.

2011, yes.

I would see yun na nung time na yun around ABS.

All the time.

Yun, ate Alex.

We even hosted together.

Ate Alex and I hosted Asap Chill Out.

Ah, yeah.

Yeah.

And then so, for me, it was a career.

A career opportunity already at that time.

Okay, ipasukin ko to.

Nagustuhan mo?

Na-enjoy mo?

Initially, no.

It was difficult.

Bakit?

Yun na nga eh.

Nawala na yung private life.

Everything was just blown up.

You know, the comments of,

ah, porkit anak ng artista,

kailangan din mag-artista.

Nakaka-apek to.

At 14?

At 14, yes.

Pag hindi pa buo yung pagkatao mo.

Definitely.

You will believe everything that they tell you.

There's a lot of politics to show business.

Whether we admit it or not.

There's a lot of politics to, like, the show business.

And it was difficult.

But then, you know.

So, 8 years kang super active sa showbiz.

2011 hanggang 2018.

Ah, gano'n.

Yes.

But, you know, nai-realize ko,

kung unhealed ka and broken ka on the inside

and then you enter show business,

na hindi pa buo ko yung pagkatao mo,

you will be easily persuaded by the people around you.

Easily influenced.

Easily manipulated.

That's true.

Kasi hindi mo pa kilala kung sino ka eh.

Parang pag at 14, di ba, inaaral mo pa kung sino ba si Diego?

Ano ba yung gusto ko sa buhay?

Tapos nakita mo yun ang gusto nila.

Ah, okay, yan din ang gusto ko.

Ah, yan ba yung ginagawa niyo?

Sige, gawin ko din yan.

Di ba, go with the flow ka lang.

Hindi rin yung nakatulong sa mental health mo.

That's why I get why my dad wanted me to study talaga muna dito.

Bago ako pasukan yung mundong show business.

It was for me to find myself.

But of course, as a 14-year-old, you don't listen.

You wouldn't realize that.

Now, in hindsight, I do.

How do you handle people's judgments and perceptions sa'yo?

I guess, I listen to the people closest to me.

My friends, my tita Bing, my mom, my dad.

If one of them tells me I'm doing something wrong, I'll listen.

Oh, my kuyas.

Until now, I'm still in touch with my mentors from rehabilitation.

So, if I ever cross a line, they're gonna be right there to let me know, tell me off, reprimand me.

If I could talk to myself from five years ago or if he could see me now, he'd be very proud.

But if you would ask me, am I in the position where I'm happy already in my life?

Not yet.

There's still so much more I want to achieve, so much more I want to do, so much more I want to grow.

But if 2018 Diego could see me where I'm sitting now,

he'd give me a slow clap.

And at least I could tell him also that it gets better.

Life gets better.