* AI ("Artificial Intelligence") subtitles on Tagalog.com are generated using "Whisper" by OpenAI (the same company that created ChatGPT and DallE2). Results and accuracy may vary.
* The subtitles do include errors occasionally and should only be used as a tool to help with your listening practice.
* You can request this website to create a transcript for a video if one doesn't already exist by clicking the "Request AI Subtitles" button below a video. Transcribing usually takes 30-40% of the length of a video to complete if there are no other videos in
the queue. For example, a 21 minute video will take 7-8 minutes to transcribe.
* Running a super fast cloud GPU server to do these transcriptions does cost money. If you have the desire and financial ability, consider
becoming a patron
to support these video transcriptions, and the other tools and apps built by Tagalog.com
00:00.0
So, I'm supposed to deliver a speech, right?
00:08.6
Okay, let me start by quoting the great Chinese general Sun Tzu who once said,
00:15.4
The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.
00:21.4
I've never really given this statement much thought
00:24.2
until I've experienced what it was like to be a war.
00:32.0
Don't get me wrong.
00:34.4
I mean, I love my wife.
00:37.3
And she loves me.
00:38.9
In fact, she loved me so much
00:41.4
that she, in conspiracy with my father-in-law,
00:45.5
made sure I end up marrying her.
00:50.1
And even still in the picture,
00:52.1
I could hardly walk.
00:55.5
This was supposed to be a shotgun wedding.
00:57.7
But the shotgun...
00:58.8
So, my father-in-law beat me up instead.
01:03.7
He's on this chair,
01:05.7
telling those masters
01:08.8
war with their wives.
01:14.8
Have you ever had
01:17.1
that ex-girlfriend
01:18.4
who just won't go away?
01:21.8
You've got it right!
01:27.9
the first year of our marriage,
01:29.9
I spoke and she listened.
01:33.4
On our second year,
01:34.7
she spoke and I listened.
01:37.4
On our third year,
01:39.6
and the neighbors listened.
01:45.2
I love coffee with some friends.
01:47.4
We got so engrossed by our conversation
01:50.2
that we didn't want to stop.
01:53.0
Then the minutes became ours.
01:55.8
the empty coffee cup,
01:57.9
were replaced by bottle after bottle
02:00.3
of a freezing cold beer
02:01.9
named after a saint.
02:04.4
What turned out to be
02:05.9
an after-office conversation of sorts
02:08.4
suddenly turned into a feast.
02:11.1
Food was everywhere.
02:12.9
And the next time I looked at my watch,
02:16.1
40 minutes past the midnight curtain.
02:20.5
who has track of the time
02:22.3
and must flee before her disguise
02:26.1
I have to rush for a road.
02:31.1
by my commander-in-chief.
02:33.9
On the following day,
02:35.9
I chanced to find two of my friends
02:38.5
who might have copied me that night.
02:40.4
And you know what?
02:42.7
hide there in all pieces.
02:44.7
Then one of them said,
02:48.4
ambushed me like a wolf.
02:50.4
She berated me for an hour.
02:52.9
Then the other one reacted,
02:55.1
That was all your wife did?
02:57.4
My wife pounced on me like a tiger.
03:00.9
She berated me for two hours.
03:03.7
Then both of them turned to me and said,
03:12.3
my wife is like a lion.
03:14.6
But I am the lion tamer.
03:19.1
Butching their long faces
03:20.7
with a surprised look in their eyes,
03:24.6
they further asked,
03:27.4
What did you say to her?
03:29.4
Not much, I said.
03:33.4
You cannot do anything, my dear.
03:37.4
Wait until I finish washing our clothes
03:39.4
before giving you your food
03:46.4
Tell those masters and guests,
03:49.4
marriage, they say,
03:53.4
where you need to live through the agony.
03:55.4
But the many guys out there,
03:57.4
here, I'm pretty sure,
03:59.4
you don't agree to your statement, right?
04:03.4
Probably raise your hands if you don't agree.
04:08.4
I don't want to put you in the house if I know.
04:12.4
But let me just share with you
04:14.4
what I did when I was trapped in the time
04:17.4
and came home past the midnight curfew.
04:22.4
When I opened the door upon coming home,
04:27.4
in supersonic fashion.
04:29.4
That was a big snow.
04:32.4
Then the rolling sound
04:34.4
of my wife's bubble soup
04:36.4
heard by a quiet,
04:37.4
lasted for three hours.
04:39.4
I just kept quiet the whole time.
04:45.4
to everything she said.
04:47.4
No knocking must be done
04:49.4
when they clash with the fury of a woman's heart.
04:54.4
the first rule of marriage states that
04:57.4
the wife is always right.
05:00.4
And the second rule is,
05:01.4
I agree to fear she's wrong,
05:02.4
but we already know this,
05:03.4
go back to rule number one.
05:08.4
Sensing the futility of further explaining myself,
05:11.4
I then thought of a way
05:13.4
to subjugate the enemy,
05:19.4
wow, your speech was great.
05:22.4
I can really feel
05:24.4
running through your veins.
05:27.4
And your speech and expressions,
05:30.4
your nose was raining red
05:32.4
and your saliva was dripping
05:34.4
as mad everywhere.
05:36.4
It's very bilingual.
05:39.4
But I love a few suggestions.
05:42.4
my curse didn't prove.
05:47.4
keep your husband safe
05:49.4
when you use your props.
05:50.4
I almost got kicked
05:52.4
when you hold this shoe
05:53.4
towards my direction.
05:57.4
focus on one issue at a time.
06:01.4
If your issue with me
06:02.4
is my coming home late,
06:03.4
don't dig up past issues
06:05.4
like why I failed to greet you
06:07.4
on our anniversary.
06:11.4
be conscious of the time.
06:15.4
the average human attention span
06:17.4
is only eight seconds?
06:20.4
Your speech was clear.
06:24.4
modulate your voice.
06:27.4
This is what we call
06:28.4
in those downstairs eyes,
06:33.4
You were shouting
06:38.4
your speech was awesome
06:40.4
and I'm looking forward
06:41.4
to our next fight.
