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00:00.0
As a cis man, ang unang-unang kong iniisip or feeling kong unang-unang kong iniisip is
00:04.4
bawal ka matapos agad.
00:06.5
But if the sex is flowing, if the sex is good, my brain is just blank.
00:18.1
This is what I really think about sex.
00:20.6
So sex for me is all about pleasure.
00:23.5
Sex for me is all about connection.
00:26.1
Finding the right balance.
00:27.7
For me, the people that I choose to have sex with,
00:31.5
obviously I have to be physically attracted to them.
00:34.2
Having sex is a very, I would say, vulnerable activity or parang situation for anyone.
00:39.7
It doesn't fly with me yung parang, sino ko ba ako? Tara, sex tayo.
00:42.6
It doesn't work with me that way.
00:44.0
So I need to have that certain level of comfort of getting to know that person.
00:47.8
I want to be with someone who is more sensual.
00:51.1
I want it more like close and, you know, slow and passionate.
00:55.6
I love a partner who is...
00:57.7
who is very in tune with my body.
00:59.9
Like, they're not very selfish.
01:01.6
They know how to give and less about taking.
01:04.4
How do you say this?
01:06.6
What I do to build up the feeling is, of course, foreplay.
01:10.4
Foreplay is very underrated.
01:12.2
When you build up to something, you don't just build up para matapos.
01:15.4
You build up to continue.
01:16.6
I love kissing, ganun.
01:18.3
And small touches.
01:20.0
I guess mahilig ako ang tumitig.
01:22.2
The eye contact, it does a lot of parang things for you, eh.
01:25.4
Now, my moves really involve...
01:27.4
just more clear communication, asking,
01:31.8
I used to think that that wasn't sexy.
01:34.1
For me, very explicit expressions of desire is very hot now.
01:39.2
Parang may usap, may kwentuhan,
01:40.8
tapos mamaya bigla na lang.
01:42.1
Parang nadulas, ay!
01:43.4
Tapos nagmamamal na ngayon.
01:44.5
So sobrang tawa niyo, malay niyo na lang,
01:46.2
naka-hubog na pala kayo.
01:48.1
In terms of condoms for me, actually very crucial siya.
01:51.2
Pinaprepare ko na lahat ng gamit, like lubricant, condoms.
01:54.8
May pouch ako dati na nandun siya lahat.
01:58.4
But of course, if you're doing it,
02:00.2
I think the bare minimum is the guy should always carry a condom.
02:03.3
I've had partners say,
02:04.7
wag na, let me just, you know.
02:06.4
I literally had someone say,
02:07.7
I'm a master pull-outer.
02:10.0
And I was just like, please.
02:12.8
And just to make sure, like,
02:15.2
you don't rely on your partner,
02:17.7
you just bring your own.
02:19.4
So many things go through my head when I'm having sex.
02:23.2
ang una-una kong iniisip,
02:24.6
or feeling kong una-una kong iniisip is,
02:28.4
Yun yung pinaka-importante.
02:30.1
Kasi sayang naman yung binildap mo.
02:31.9
Before, I used to get very anxious.
02:34.6
Pero I noticed that that anxiety was like,
02:37.3
because I wasn't comfortable with my body.
02:39.7
But if the sex is flowing, if the sex is good,
02:42.5
my brain is just blank.
02:44.0
Autopilot na yung katawan mo eh.
02:45.6
The more you think about it,
02:46.8
parang doon ka na magsastagger.
02:48.6
Sometimes things don't end up working the way they should be.
02:51.7
I'm not thinking about other things,
02:53.8
like work, or like ano yung gagawin ko ngayon sa bahay.
02:57.4
It just feels like sort of like a dance,
02:59.4
where you're just moving your bodies with each other.
03:03.2
When I'm doing it,
03:04.4
I've learned to be present in that moment,
03:07.8
like feel everything.
03:09.5
Because that's what sex is in that moment.
03:12.9
Bakit mo poproblemahin what's gonna come 30 seconds later?
03:16.9
Otherwise, you're missing the point of having that intimate moment.
03:22.4
Para macheck ko yung partner ko,
03:24.3
firstly, of course, yung body language niya.
03:27.2
Ano yung gusto kong gawin?
03:29.5
tapos tingnan ko siya kung nagpa-pleasure siya.
03:32.8
Kumbaga, is this working for you?
03:34.9
Of course, you also have to take note of non-verbal cues as well,
03:38.8
like are they opening up physically?
03:41.1
Are they closing?
03:41.9
Are they moving away from you?
03:43.9
Are they moving towards you?
03:45.4
I just enjoy the moment.
03:47.2
I'm not afraid to tell them what I need.
03:50.3
Focus on the physical and like the sensations.
03:54.0
That's the most important.
03:55.1
You really have to build that up.
03:56.7
Kasi it's different for women and men.
03:59.8
Kasi I know that men are very wishful.
04:01.6
Like they see something that is remotely sexual
04:04.6
and then it turns them on, ganun.
04:05.9
And for women, it's a bit harder or it's a bit slower, I think.
04:11.1
In terms of parang final countdown or parang yung finishing move,
04:17.1
I think yung generic na sagot is magigigil ka, so bibilisan mo.
04:21.1
Usually, yes, at first.
04:22.7
Yung mga naging partner ko, they like doing missionary first.
04:26.7
Towards ending, yun nga, I like to do doggie or pancake.
04:30.6
Yung nakadapa sila.
04:32.6
Kasi I like to have it deep.
04:34.9
For me, I need my vibrator.
04:37.4
It's 2023, we need toys with our, you know, with our partners.
04:42.6
Some people don't like it.
04:43.9
They don't feel sufficient if they incorporate toys.
04:47.2
Nakaka-hype ako or mas natutuwa ako.
04:49.2
No, having that, yung kita mo talaga sa mukha or sa body language,
04:54.0
nasarapan talaga siya.
04:55.2
And if that is what it feels like, it's okay.
04:55.7
And if that is what it feels like, it's okay.
04:56.2
And if that is what it feels like, it's okay.
04:56.7
And if that is what it feels like, it's okay.
04:58.0
To make sure I'm satisfied with sex and I can come
05:02.5
is when my partner doesn't rush me.
05:05.9
But yeah, you really just focus on the moment
05:09.3
instead of what this moment could possibly lead to.
05:12.7
For me, after sex, yung parang winding down
05:16.6
is also important to, I guess, show respect
05:19.7
or parang, parang delikadesa din naman doon sa tao na parang,
05:22.7
six, okay, okay, bye-bye.
05:24.0
Hindi naman ganun.
05:24.9
I need that aftercare.
05:26.2
Like, bigyan mo ako ng tubig, ganun.
05:28.7
You know, a little cuddling and like, more kissing.
05:32.5
Not just trying to finish what we did.
05:35.9
Pero kung purely libog lang, nagmamadali ako,
05:39.7
nagmamadali siya, pwede naman ang sibat na agad.
05:42.3
There are some people, I'm like, please leave.
05:46.3
There are some people, please stay.
05:47.9
Like, I wanna hold you.
05:49.5
Usually, nagsachikahan naman talaga kami.
05:52.0
And it helps sustain that connection even after sex.
05:55.9
And it helps sustain that connection even after sex.
05:56.0
And it helps sustain that connection even after sex.
05:56.0
And it helps sustain that connection even after sex.
05:56.1
And it helps sustain that connection even after sex.
05:56.2
Condoms are very important.
05:58.2
For me, it comes as number two.
05:59.8
Number one is, of course, consent.
06:01.6
When it comes to a man and a woman,
06:03.4
main reason, it prevents unwanted pregnancies.
06:06.1
When it comes to homosexuals,
06:08.6
it is for prevention of acquiring STIs.
06:13.2
Like, of course, HIV, that's number one.
06:15.9
I think condoms matter because they give us a choice.
06:18.9
They give us a choice in our sexual health,
06:21.7
in if we're family planning, when to have kids,
06:24.4
if not to have kids.
06:26.0
And for me, choice is a really big part of sex
06:28.8
because things are only enjoyable when you can opt into it.
06:32.2
In terms of premier condoms,
06:33.8
as a condom user, 10 of 10 would recommend.
06:36.6
I lean towards the more, I guess, basic.
06:39.8
Kung baga ito, there's the dotted version,
06:41.6
there's the ultra-thin version,
06:43.6
tapos meron yung, I guess, more adventurous types,
06:46.3
yung cool watermelon, more on the flavored type.
06:48.7
Oh, she's not flavored.
06:50.2
Baka mamaya may adobo na yung the future,
06:52.5
o kaldereta, malay mo, oh.
06:55.2
And like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
06:55.7
Like, for here, so there's that sensory addition.
07:00.2
Dotted, I think this is really more for your partner.
07:03.9
Ayun, glow in the dark!
07:05.7
I was hoping for this.
07:07.2
So, I remember seeing this for the first time,
07:09.9
and I was like, please, I am begging you.
07:12.7
Anybody, anybody who wants to sleep with me,
07:15.0
can we please use this?
07:16.1
Like, for me, it's just fun.
07:17.3
Like, sex doesn't have to be serious.
07:19.5
Like, I love to have sex where you can laugh.
07:21.8
And what's funnier than a glowing penis?
07:24.0
And it's so cool kasi,
07:25.7
when you think of condoms, parang, oh,
07:27.6
parang walang pleasure, di ba?
07:29.6
Yun ang iniisip ng tao, kaya takot silang magbalot.
07:32.2
Kaya sinasabi ko, mag-ano kayo? Mag-condoms kasi.
07:34.7
Some are really meant to enhance the pleasure of your partners.
07:38.1
Of course, condom adds pleasure,
07:40.3
kasi mas mababawasan nga yung pag-o-overthink mo while doing the deed.
07:45.3
I think there's different kinds of condoms
07:47.0
because there's different bodies, there's different people.
07:49.2
Like, people have different favorite colors.
07:51.2
Why wouldn't they have different favorite condoms, you know?
07:53.3
It's a good opportunity to be creative,
07:55.7
live with your sex life.
07:58.5
I absolutely think there are stereotypes
08:00.7
when it comes to what men and women want after sex.
08:04.2
Sinasabi kasi nila ng paglalaki,
08:06.1
walang pa kayo parang,
08:07.0
sex game, boom, pak, ales.
08:08.4
Tapos wala silang pa kayo sa babae.
08:09.9
And I think yung gusto ko i-debunk dun is,
08:11.9
di naman lahat ganun.
08:12.9
I believe some men or some guys naman,
08:15.0
mas in-tune sila dun sa vulnerable and emotional side nila
08:18.4
when it comes to having sex with their partner, I guess.
08:21.3
I would like to debunk na
08:23.6
that if you're sex positive,
08:25.1
you're really, you're bastos, ganun,
08:27.0
or you're very into casual sex,
08:29.2
it's easy to assume na because you're sex positive,
08:33.1
na you're very malande, ganun.
08:34.8
Those aren't bad things at all.
08:36.8
Those things aren't mutually exclusive at all.
08:39.7
I think it's important to talk about this topic
08:43.1
because our society, more on the conservative side,
08:47.2
and there is shame related to it or connected to it.
08:51.8
In order to enhance what sex really is,
08:54.4
you have to be open-minded.
08:56.0
That's the whole premise of sex positivity,
08:57.9
is having an open mind.
08:59.1
I want to debunk the idea,
09:00.9
if you don't feel anything in condoms,
09:03.9
it doesn't mean you never will.
09:05.8
The reason why you don't feel things with condoms
09:07.9
is because you're not used to it.
09:09.4
An advice I would share would be to
09:13.2
get to know yourself better.
09:15.1
You can always expect your partner to know what you want.
09:18.2
So sa lahat naman ng magiging adventure mo,
09:21.3
okay lang naman na maging wild as long as safe.
09:23.8
Be safe, be wild, and also be considerate.
09:26.3
If you are safe, you can be as wild as you want to be.
09:53.8
Thank you for watching!
