MAEGAN AGUILAR: After 10 years, nag-reach out sa amang si Freddie Aguilar || #TTWAA Ep. 179
00:18.9
Masyado akong bata, gusto ko nang maging independent.
00:21.5
Pero iba yung dating kasi, di ba?
00:23.0
Megan Aguilar, lumayas.
00:26.4
Na panood ko yung guesting mo kay Sinetorapi.
00:30.7
At that time, iba yung pinagsasabi mo, di ba?
00:34.0
You were not in your right frame of mind.
00:36.1
Yung feeling ko noon, pagpunta ko rito,
00:37.8
bigla akong upo posas, yung mga ganon.
00:39.9
Bigla akong eat straight jacket.
00:43.2
Sinabi mong tatlo yung anak mo,
00:45.2
bakit nasa Amerika yung panganay mo?
00:47.2
Pinanghawakan ko na lang all these years
00:49.1
para maibsan kahit pa paano yung galit
00:51.7
na he will have a better life.
00:56.4
Magandang araw, Pilipinas,
01:05.4
at sa ating mga kababayan sa ibang bansa.
01:07.5
Welcome to TikTok with Aster Amor.
01:10.8
Sa araw na ito, mga kaibigan,
01:12.5
ay isa na naman pong spesyal na personalidad
01:15.0
ang ating makakakwentuhan.
01:17.2
A singer, songwriter, performer,
01:19.8
at controversial, mga kaibigan,
01:22.7
the one and only Megan Aguilar.
01:26.4
Hello, Tita Aster.
01:29.1
Hello to the TikTok audience and viewers.
01:31.5
I am very glad to be here.
01:35.0
We've been wanting to have you last year,
01:37.6
pero may mga nangyari.
01:39.5
What's important, nandito ka ngayon.
01:41.5
Yan naman ang mahalagay, di ba?
01:43.1
But anyway, kumusta ka na?
01:44.8
Alam ko you're busy, you're back to performing,
01:47.4
and you're back into writing songs.
01:49.1
Kwentuhan mo na muna kami sa pinagkakabalan.
01:51.7
Surprisingly po, I didn't expect that
01:53.7
the November and December of 2023
01:55.4
for me would be so different.
01:58.1
Kasi 2023 is also like the darkest year of my life.
02:01.9
Actually, nag-piral siya from 2020 to lockdown
02:04.4
when I lost everything because of lockdown too.
02:07.4
And then it's piraled into 2023.
02:09.5
Accepting God's grace by November and December only
02:12.4
of the same year is unexpected and unbelievable
02:15.4
and I'm just so happy I'm still alive.
02:17.7
Biglang nagkaroon ng nagsaysay yung buhay ko.
02:20.7
It became precious again.
02:22.3
Unlike how I felt in so long.
02:25.4
Parang I'm nothing na, yung mga ganon.
02:27.5
Nagulat ako sa blessing ni Lord.
02:29.3
All because I accepted my mistake.
02:31.8
Naamin ko kung saan ako nagkamali,
02:33.7
kung saan ako nagkaroon ng kasalanan.
02:35.8
By simply admitting those mistakes,
02:37.7
na-recover ko po yung sarili ko.
02:39.4
Got out of that dark moment.
02:41.1
And then now, parang I feel like I'm living my life to the fullest.
02:44.6
Although, I'm starting from the beginning.
02:46.8
Yes, starting from zero.
02:48.8
Yung mga ganon, starting from scratch.
02:50.7
That's my experience.
02:51.5
Pero slowly, hindi na po ganon.
02:53.4
Kasi yun nga po, like now,
02:54.8
yung kanta ko po na Ama is gonna be released very, very soon.
02:59.2
We're already in the final stages before release.
03:02.6
Ikaw nag-compose ng Ama.
03:04.0
Ako yung sumulat po nung Ama.
03:05.7
Time na, yun nga po, when my life was falling apart,
03:08.8
I tried to commit suicide.
03:10.8
Nasulat ko po yung Ama.
03:12.2
And then I didn't have an instrument anymore.
03:14.2
Wala na akong gitara nun eh.
03:15.5
Pati gitara, nabenta mo na.
03:17.5
Suddenly, that one day, in those dark moments na,
03:20.9
biglang nakakarinig ako ng piano in my ear.
03:23.0
And then I could hear me,
03:24.7
continuing the story of anak.
03:26.7
Yung parang ganon naririnig ko.
03:28.5
Naririnig ko yung, itutuloy ko yung storya ng anak.
03:31.2
Kasi, ganon naman po, diba, kahit sa movie, diba?
03:33.8
Like, there's a part two in this movie,
03:35.9
nag-the end, meron pa pala siyang continuation.
03:40.3
Dahil nga po sa wala akong instrumento nun,
03:42.8
I downloaded a piano app on my phone.
03:44.8
And that's how I made it.
03:46.4
Ganon ka ka, ano?
03:47.8
I don't even know how I was able to compose on the phone
03:50.3
kasi it's so limited, you know, even the song.
03:52.5
Bless po talaga yung moment na yun.
03:54.7
You're so talented, actually.
03:56.4
You're so talented.
03:57.2
Kaya sabi ko nga,
03:57.8
sayang, ang daming sinayang ni Megan.
04:00.4
Ang daming chances, daming pagkakataon.
04:02.7
But it's never too late.
04:04.4
Sayang is only when wala kang chance to redeem yourself.
04:08.8
Wala kang chance na makabangon.
04:10.3
Yun po yung sayang.
04:11.2
For me, I was almost sayang.
04:13.8
May purpose si God eh.
04:14.9
May purpose si God.
04:15.8
Kaya hindi niya itinuloy.
04:17.1
Huwag mo ituloy, may gagawin ka pa.
04:19.3
Siguro nga po, tita,
04:20.2
it was that moment of public suicide.
04:22.4
In the stories we hear,
04:23.8
celebrity or not celebrity,
04:24.7
talagang pag-commit ng suicide,
04:28.5
I see myself as parang not someone special.
04:31.3
Not someone na much better than the other.
04:33.8
I guess God wanted to show, like, a journey.
04:37.5
If nag-decide kang huwag ituloy.
04:39.5
Yun ganun siguro.
04:40.5
Kasi yun nangyayari sa akin eh.
04:41.8
Pero actually, it wasn't my choice na hindi natuloy, tita.
04:44.7
Like I've mentioned before,
04:45.9
that moment na nag-video ako,
04:47.4
nakakit po ako ng building nun, tita.
04:49.2
I was able to climb a building.
04:50.5
But when I climbed,
04:52.0
there were four doors
04:53.4
that had gigantic platforms.
04:55.2
So I could not continue.
04:56.9
Hindi ko maka-forward dun sa gusto ko
04:59.4
dahil nakalak yung mga pintuan.
05:01.4
So that was, for me,
05:02.6
my divine intervention.
05:04.5
May reason talaga.
05:05.6
That, to me, was like a big, big sign.
05:08.9
And parang God yelling at me,
05:11.1
Huwag mo gawin yan.
05:12.7
It's not your time.
05:13.8
It's gonna get better.
05:15.6
Pero nung mga times na yun,
05:17.6
faint voice pa lang yun.
05:19.2
Parang bulong pa lang na.
05:21.4
Ilang floor yung building?
05:22.8
Ay, matangkad yun, tita.
05:24.0
It was in Poblasyon, Makati.
05:26.0
It was really tall.
05:27.3
If I choose a low building,
05:28.7
mababalian lang ako nun,
05:32.3
So, pagka yung intention mo is magpakamatay,
05:35.4
talagang pinaka-morbid na paraan
05:38.2
Walang nakakaalam,
05:40.1
Yeah, because that was,
05:41.3
that happened around 2, 3 a.m.?
05:43.2
Something like that?
05:44.3
When everybody was asleep.
05:45.4
Everybody was asleep.
05:46.6
Even my friends are asleep.
05:49.1
And then, yun nga eh.
05:50.2
Isa pang divine intervention that time was,
05:53.4
I received a call.
05:54.0
A call from some random person lang.
05:56.9
I met during the Kumu Live.
06:00.6
Shout out to Destiny.
06:01.7
That's his name and his wife at that time.
06:04.7
Hindi siya tumitigil tumawag sa akin.
06:07.1
Hindi nga ako makatuloy
06:08.1
dahil nga may kalak yung mga pintuan sa harap ko.
06:11.0
I decided to answer his call na.
06:12.8
Kasi tawag siya ng tawag eh.
06:14.3
Nung una, kinakancel ko.
06:15.9
And then, when I couldn't go through my suicide,
06:18.3
of course, what will I do pa?
06:19.5
Tinagot ko na lang.
06:20.3
What prompted you to commit suicide?
06:22.7
Tita, it was a time,
06:25.0
it's a good 10 years or something.
06:27.4
Wala akong relationship,
06:28.8
wala akong communication
06:29.6
kay tatay or sa mom ko.
06:31.5
Or if I talk to my mom,
06:34.0
And then, yun nga,
06:35.1
lockdown 2 happened.
06:36.6
Nayari yung online business namin
06:38.3
ng partner ko at that time.
06:39.6
Ano yung online business?
06:40.6
We were selling US apparel,
06:43.2
US essential oils,
06:44.5
tapos sweet giant mango seedlings.
06:47.0
basta yung kung anong mabibenta.
06:48.5
It was good for a while.
06:50.5
And then, pasok ng lockdown 2,
06:52.1
hindi na nangyari.
06:53.1
Because of the quarantine,
06:54.0
and the permits and everything,
06:55.6
we couldn't keep up with it na.
06:57.2
Parang na-enjoy ko yung online,
06:58.7
yung work from home.
07:00.0
Kasi I'm with my kid,
07:03.0
I couldn't do my gigs anymore
07:04.9
kasi it was the height of my hyperthyroidism also.
07:08.3
Parang a good idea.
07:09.3
Did you undergo operation?
07:12.5
I went through maintenance already.
07:15.7
Pero kasi these days,
07:19.2
yung parang the natural,
07:20.7
drinking turmeric,
07:22.5
Garlic in my diet,
07:24.9
kasi mahirap din,
07:26.0
tita, yung masanay ko sa gamot.
07:28.9
and then you're gonna be adapt to it
07:30.4
and then your body's gonna
07:31.5
look for the medicine
07:32.8
for you to feel better.
07:35.1
Anong advice sa'yo ng doktor?
07:36.7
Ang sinabi niya is,
07:39.0
if it really doesn't go away.
07:41.3
it's gonna cost money.
07:42.7
I'm healing naman actually
07:45.1
my breathing is better.
07:47.8
Parang hinihingal ka.
07:49.4
Hingal na hingal.
07:50.0
Touching up with your breath.
07:51.0
That doesn't happen anymore.
07:52.3
And because I'm doing
07:53.4
a more rutinary lifestyle,
07:55.6
so like I wake up in the morning,
07:59.7
breathing exercises.
08:01.1
Pero hindi na-affectuhan
08:02.2
yung pagkanta mo?
08:03.8
nakakapagtakalon, tita.
08:06.9
nung nakaroon ako nito.
08:09.6
Dapat bababa yung boses.
08:11.4
it didn't happen to me.
08:14.5
That's another thing
08:16.5
our God is a living God.
08:19.7
None of it disappeared
08:20.6
through everything
08:22.3
That's very important.
08:23.4
Yung pag-guitara ko,
08:26.8
pag-sulat ng kanta.
08:27.8
Except na wala na itong
08:28.9
physical instruments,
08:31.3
musical instruments
08:33.7
Pero bumabalik na.
08:34.8
Alam naman ang karamihan,
08:35.9
that Tita Ku Ledesma,
08:37.7
the people that were
08:38.6
present in my life
08:39.8
during those times.
08:43.8
She and her daughter,
08:46.5
they bought me a keyboard
08:47.8
so that I can keep composing.
08:51.4
Natapos ko po talaga
08:52.5
yung instrumentation
08:53.8
because of the keyboard
08:54.9
from Tita Ku and Izzy,
08:57.0
nakakompose na rin po ako
08:58.1
ng worship album.
09:00.5
six worship songs already
09:05.6
I really want to release
09:08.2
because it deserves
09:10.3
Parang the title is
09:12.3
of Anak ng Tatay Mo?
09:13.9
Kasi Anak is his story
09:15.8
na kanyang kinompose.
09:20.1
such a universal message po.
09:23.4
nang tao makaka-relate.
09:25.4
may pinagdadaanan na kahit pa pano
09:27.2
maintindihan yung anak.
09:29.2
I say it's a continuation
09:31.6
the story of Anak.
09:34.6
before he can express
09:41.9
Kaya nandiyong pagsisisi.
09:43.2
Kaya may pagsisisi.
09:48.2
bata pa siya na Ama.
09:49.4
Bata pa siyang Ama.
09:50.6
Pero yung sa song ko,
09:52.5
hindi siya bata pa.
09:54.6
Marami na siyang pinagdadaanan.
09:56.0
The father is buhay.
10:00.3
Iba yung message.
10:01.4
Kasi makakapagsabi pa siya eh.
10:03.0
So, yun yung story ng Ama.
10:04.0
Mga gusto mong sabihin.
10:05.1
Gusto mo talagang
10:07.8
So, yun yung story ng Ama.
10:10.4
I want to hear that.
10:14.6
First time kong mag-TikTok.
10:15.7
I'm coming from the analog age eh.
10:19.9
I'm still adjusting to it.
10:21.9
Recently lang ako
10:24.3
Wala pang one month.
10:25.3
I have almost 9,000 followers
10:28.5
I released a teaser
10:31.5
Performed that live
10:33.9
during I Love OPM.
10:35.2
So, I was able to take
10:36.4
footage of the rehearsal.
10:45.3
And I'm surprised kasi nga.
10:46.9
Wala pang one month.
10:48.0
Napag-uusapan po talaga yung Ama.
10:49.9
Even in the other interviews
10:53.3
The other times na
10:54.7
I talked about Ama.
10:57.7
Yung mga netizens
11:00.9
talking about it.
11:02.9
Narinig na ba ito
11:07.1
Anong say mo sa akin
11:08.6
Send mo rin sa ninang mo.
11:10.1
My ninang Sampaguita.
11:12.3
Ninang Sampaguita.
11:16.6
That's my tita Mi.
11:17.5
So, both of them.
11:18.6
Kasi nilabas ko lang
11:20.4
And then I just sent them
11:21.4
the links na parang
11:23.2
And then tatay got so
11:26.9
Send us the lyrics.
11:28.9
hindi ko pa ma-send eh.
11:32.4
sabi ni tatay sa akin,
11:34.5
pagkasulat mo anak.
11:36.2
all that matters.
11:38.4
Kasi minsan yung tao,
11:40.7
like the judgmental types.
11:42.6
Pagka sinabing anak,
11:44.0
kanta ni Freddie Aguilar.
11:46.0
Megan Aguilar ng ama.
11:47.5
Ang iisipin lang,
11:48.9
sinasagot niya yan.
11:54.1
hearing tatay's comment
11:57.3
the more that I want to create,
11:59.7
yung comment ni tatay na
12:00.9
naging confident din siya
12:04.7
Ano ang nag-udyok sa'yo
12:06.2
para mag-reach out
12:08.5
Nasurvive ko yung
12:11.4
came at the right time
12:15.4
that had a rehab program.
12:17.2
And then number three is,
12:18.2
she trusted me enough
12:19.5
to let me stay in
12:20.3
Hacienda Isabela.
12:21.2
And then, of course,
12:22.0
the concert that we had,
12:25.3
of blessings here.
12:27.6
I think I should pray
12:30.5
to see tatay again
12:31.5
na ma-welcome ako
12:35.4
something like that,
12:36.2
pinagdadesel ko na na
12:37.2
yung birthday ng anak ko
12:38.1
kasi birthday ng anak ko
12:40.6
10th birthday niya.
12:42.3
gusto ko pong umuwi
12:43.3
sa bahay ni tatay
12:44.5
sa birthday ng anak ko
12:45.8
para there's an excuse
12:47.2
for me to go home
12:48.2
na kahit hanggang
12:49.1
gate lang ako, Lord,
12:51.2
papasukin ni tatay,
12:52.5
basta yung mga anak ko,
12:53.6
kita kaming tatlo,
12:55.3
fast forward to November,
13:00.9
makukuha ko yung anak ko.
13:02.3
Anak mo na na kay tatay mo?
13:04.7
yung anak ko na na kay tatay,
13:06.0
andun na siya sa bahay ni tatay.
13:07.8
But I have a younger pa
13:08.9
kasi I have three kids.
13:10.3
Yung pangali nasa Amerika.
13:12.1
the eldest is in the state.
13:13.3
And then, yun nga,
13:17.6
that stays with her dad.
13:19.5
that was my excuse.
13:20.9
Nung nakatira kay tatay,
13:21.8
eh, naka-block nga ako,
13:24.9
Tapos, pati sa ma'am ko,
13:25.9
basta yung pinanggalingan ko.
13:27.9
Ganun yung situation
13:30.5
pumunta sa tatay ko.
13:32.0
Nung una pa nga eh,
13:33.6
nung una ako magpaalam
13:34.7
through my 13-year-old,
13:36.3
overnight lang daw pwede,
13:39.9
hindi yung hanggang gate ako.
13:45.7
So, in other words,
13:49.8
Nakarating kami doon,
13:52.2
tagay-tay ako nakatira nun eh.
13:54.0
susunodin kay anak ko sa Paranaque.
13:56.1
pupunta kami sa Fairview.
13:57.7
Imagine ang biyahe,
13:59.6
gabi na kami nakarating.
14:00.6
At pera ka na nun?
14:01.6
Nag-share kami ng
14:04.5
hindi pwede ibas yung mga bata.
14:10.6
tulog na si tatay.
14:12.6
yung anak kong 13-year-old,
14:14.3
yung ngiti niya talaga hanggang dito.
14:16.0
ilang years kami hindi nakita, tita.
14:17.8
Because of everything na nangyari.
14:19.8
Kami muna na mga bata,
14:24.1
yung breakfast table namin sa labas,
14:26.8
yung nasa tabi ni tatay.
14:31.3
Doon na nag-start.
14:32.4
Parang nabura po yung mga nangyari.
14:35.0
Kasi yung pag-upo,
14:37.1
na-miss kita tay.
14:38.4
Ang bata ng itsura mo,
14:40.5
Ako mukhang matanda.
14:42.9
maganda ka naman, anak.
14:47.0
Siguro napaka-tight nung hug yung dalawa.
14:49.6
I kissed him on the cheek.
14:55.0
Affectionate akong tao.
14:58.9
Pwede ko na ulit gawin yun sa tatay ko.
15:00.9
Ayoko kasi ng ganun.
15:02.5
habang buhay yung mga magulang ko.
15:04.1
Gusto mong bumawi sa kanila.
15:05.4
Gusto kong ipakita yung pagmamahal ko.
15:08.8
during my time in rehab,
15:11.0
we did a lot of Bible study.
15:12.6
Kailan ka na-rehab?
15:14.6
May hanggang September.
15:18.5
may psychological assessment is normal.
15:20.9
You only last there if,
15:23.4
you have a mental...
15:23.8
So, yung rehab mo sa Tagaytay?
15:25.6
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:27.1
you have a mental disorder,
15:29.1
some syndrome na nangyari sa'yo
15:31.4
because of drugs and everything,
15:33.0
then you have to stay.
15:34.1
Eh, normal naman po ako, so...
15:37.9
It was just really to prove also to me,
15:41.1
it's not that bad.
15:42.4
Napagod at nagutom lang ako in those days.
15:44.8
It's a stage na ng trials na ng buhay ko eh.
15:48.1
Wala akong matanong.
15:49.1
Wala kang matakbuhan?
15:50.0
Wala akong matakbuhan.
15:51.3
Hindi na kasi rebellion.
15:52.6
Rebellion kasi, tita,
15:53.6
it happened when I was a teenager eh.
15:55.5
I already went through my 20s,
15:58.3
and now I'm in my 40s.
16:01.4
It's different stages of life.
16:04.1
kaya mong 30 anos ka,
16:07.8
you still need your parents.
16:09.3
Even you, tita eh.
16:12.0
hindi man yung parents mo.
16:14.8
you wanted to be surrounded by people
16:16.8
na magbibigay sa'yo ng pagmamahal,
16:20.7
But then the best to give that is your parents.
16:24.0
Those are the best people na
16:26.5
you can be totally vulnerable to them.
16:30.3
You can be imperfect,
16:31.7
you can be flawed,
16:32.7
and they will accept you.
16:34.1
And I didn't have this for a good 10 years.
16:36.9
Kaya nga, nag-Muslim ako.
16:38.9
It lasted 3 years.
16:39.9
Parang from Christian, Muslim.
16:41.9
I changed religions.
16:43.9
Kasi nga, I'm looking for this family,
16:45.9
community, you know?
16:49.9
Hindi mo matagpuan.
16:51.9
Siyempre, these are strangers.
16:53.9
And they will connect with you at some level lang.
16:56.9
Pero not the intimacy.
16:58.9
Can be bare naked and tell them everything.
17:03.9
Walang sa physical ko,
17:04.9
nahahawakan si Tatay eh.
17:06.9
Now, even minsan through Facebook Messenger,
17:09.9
yung mga PM-PM, di ba lang?
17:11.9
O anak, sasabihin niya sa akin,
17:12.9
pag nakita mo yung nanay mo,
17:15.9
tell her you're sorry,
17:17.9
Tapos ako naman, opo tay, I will.
17:19.9
Alam mo tay, ngayon naiisip ko na
17:22.9
yung mga nangyari sa akin
17:24.9
na wala kayo sa buhay ko.
17:26.9
Hindi pala yun punishment.
17:28.9
Kung hindi proof ng inyong unconditional love and trust on me.
17:33.8
hinayaan niyo ko eh,
17:34.8
to go through my hell.
17:36.8
To go through my demons and my hell and my own.
17:40.8
Sabi ko, siguro po,
17:41.8
sa pagkaintindi ko,
17:42.8
malaki yung tiwala niyo sa akin na kaya ko.
17:45.8
Parang gano'n na sabi ko sa tatay ko yun.
17:47.8
Ano naging reaction ng tatay mo?
17:49.8
Nag-heart lang siya na parang,
17:52.8
Gumanon lang siya.
17:54.8
Parang ito yung masimpleng salita na tumatago sa puso.
17:58.8
Kasi nga po, yung mga gusto kong sabihin eh.
18:01.8
yung tita Astor, naintindihan ko yung nangyari.
18:04.8
Why kinailangan ko?
18:06.8
Kung daanan niyo na,
18:07.8
they had to be so tough na kaya mo siya,
18:11.8
May tiwala lang sila na kaya ko.
18:13.8
To realize that as,
18:14.8
as a daughter, diba?
18:15.8
It's, it's such a big blessing.
18:17.8
I'm getting goosebumps.
18:19.8
Lord, buhay na buhay mo kayo sa buhay ko.
18:21.8
Hindi lang po, na-heal.
18:23.8
Parang yung pagiging estranged namin.
18:25.8
Yung pagkakahiwalay-hiwalay namin, diba?
18:27.8
Hindi lang yun yung na-heal.
18:28.8
Pati talaga yung relationship na malalim.
18:33.8
nag-message na ako,
18:37.8
And ganoon na agad.
18:38.8
Yung wala nang mga,
18:42.8
Wala nang sumbatan.
18:45.8
Umiyak ba ang tatay mo
18:46.8
nung magkita kayo?
18:48.8
Pero, kunwari hindi.
18:51.8
Sabi niya sa akin,
18:53.8
pinagdasal kita this whole time.
18:56.8
And then yun nga, tita,
18:57.8
balik tayo dun sa moment na,
18:58.8
pumating kami ng mga anak ko gabi.
19:05.8
maglalaba ako eh,
19:06.8
ng mga damit ng anak ko.
19:07.8
Di first time ko ulit na,
19:08.8
pumunta sa may bandang garahe namin.
19:09.8
Ang nakita ko dun sa garahe,
19:11.8
yung mga portraits namin ni tatay,
19:12.8
yung mga gawa ng mga Pinoy artist
19:14.8
before Filipino art.
19:15.8
Apo magkaka-alternate kaming dalawa?
19:24.8
kinuwento ko kasi din yan
19:26.8
if I may mention.
19:28.8
Nakakwento ko sa kanya yun ah.
19:30.8
makapunta ulit doon sa part
19:35.8
Kasi ang feeling ko talaga,
19:37.8
Parang wala ka na totally.
19:38.8
Yung pictures ko,
19:39.8
mga sinunog na yan.
19:40.8
Bakit tinapon na?
19:42.8
yung mga tinapon na wala na.
19:46.8
yun yung ano namin,
19:47.8
memorabilia namin yun nung 90s eh.
19:48.8
Kasi sa Ka Freddy's,
19:52.8
mga Filipino artist,
19:55.8
They're doing our sketch
19:57.8
parang just sitting
20:00.8
andun yung collection.
20:03.8
nasunog na kasi nung 2018.
20:04.8
Nasunog yung music room niya.
20:07.8
nasunog yung bahay namin.
20:15.8
Paakyat naman ako
20:17.8
Kasi iba-iba yung part,
20:18.8
iba-iba yung regions ng bahay eh.
20:19.8
Pataas sa kwarto ni tatay,
20:24.8
Ito yung una kong
20:25.8
magandang article by
20:28.8
Eric Caruncho of Inquirer.
20:34.8
So, hindi nasunog?
20:37.8
naiyak ako doon, tita.
20:39.8
Yung heart ko para lalong
20:41.8
Nung gabi na naman,
20:44.8
usap kami ulit ni tatay.
20:47.8
ang dami kong pictures dito.
20:50.8
akala ko tinapo muna.
20:56.8
Pati hanggang moment na ito,
20:58.8
pinagdasal ko ito.
21:01.8
Kasi di ba sabi ko sa'yo,
21:03.8
nung September pa lang eh.
21:04.8
Nagdadasal na ako na,
21:06.8
alam kong ibibigay niya sa'kin ito na
21:07.8
makakapag-birthday ang anak ko
21:08.8
sa bahay ni tatay.
21:09.8
We will see each other again.
21:16.8
my brothers are there.
21:18.8
we were also able to
21:19.8
parang reconnect.
21:20.8
Even my elder sister.
21:21.8
I have a half-sister kasi
21:23.8
We had the most wonderful
21:27.8
parang Thanksgiving year
21:32.8
Kasi kompleto kami.
21:33.8
You were all together.
21:34.8
You were all together.
21:35.8
Except yung panganay mong anak
21:40.8
sinabi mong tatlo yung anak mo.
21:41.8
Bakit nasa America
21:42.8
yung panganay mo?
21:44.8
Are you in touch?
21:48.8
going back to 2009,
21:49.8
magti-three years old
21:50.8
yung anak ko nun.
21:51.8
He went ahead to the States.
21:53.8
petition na rin ako.
21:55.8
nauna lang yung anak ko.
22:01.8
Pinanghawakan ko na lang
22:04.8
kahit pa paano yung galit.
22:05.8
He will have a better life
22:07.8
Very family-oriented family.
22:09.8
dysfunctional kasi.
22:10.8
Musikero yung tatay,
22:11.8
socialite yung mami.
22:12.8
Laki kami sa yaya.
22:13.8
Iba yung kultura.
22:18.8
yung ex ko nayon,
22:22.8
na dumating dun yung anak.
22:25.8
Ang sinabi ko nga is,
22:27.8
is very blessed already.
22:30.8
kung ano yung pagdasal ko kasi
22:31.8
nangyayari ngayon, tita eh.
22:32.8
My prayers took 7 years
22:33.8
before na nasagot.
22:35.8
ayoko nang masamain
22:37.8
Palaki naman nila
22:38.8
yung anak ko ng mabuti.
22:39.8
Hindi ako nabigyan ng chance.
22:42.8
a good mom to him.
22:43.8
Kasi nung 12 years old
22:45.8
that was the time kasi na
22:46.8
pinakausap siya sa'kin ulit.
22:48.8
hinuhuli na naman yung loob ko
22:49.8
kasi padadala na ako
22:50.8
ng divorce papers.
22:52.8
nakausap ko yung anak ko.
22:53.8
Yun ang ex-husband mo?
22:56.8
nakausap ko yung anak ko.
22:58.8
We had the adult talk na
22:59.8
nakapagsabi ako sa kanya ng
23:01.8
this might be the last time
23:03.8
But I'm not sure.
23:05.8
but this could be the last time
23:06.8
we talk because of
23:07.8
the situation I have with your dad.
23:09.8
But I want you to know
23:11.8
Alam mo yung ganyan, di ba?
23:12.8
I want you to know
23:21.8
for his 12th birthday
23:23.8
nagpabilis siya sa daddy niya
23:25.8
Kasi triple A student
23:27.8
matalino talaga yan eh.
23:28.8
Nagpabilis siya ng book na
23:29.8
ang title daw ay,
23:30.8
I'm gonna keep reading this book,
23:32.8
so I can understand
23:33.8
what happened to me.
23:34.8
12 years old, tita.
23:35.8
And this is how he's
23:37.8
Was that the last time
23:38.8
we spoke with him?
23:39.8
That is really the last time
23:41.8
That was the conversation
23:43.8
I planted a good seed
23:45.8
Kahit na malayo ako,
23:46.8
I became a good mother to him.
23:48.8
it doesn't bring tears
23:49.8
to my eyes anymore,
23:51.8
I've come to terms na,
23:53.8
Tinanggap na yung buhay ko,
23:56.8
That's very important.
23:57.8
I've come to terms that
23:59.8
did not have a chance
24:01.8
with my eldest son.
24:02.8
Ang importante kasi,
24:04.8
yung ano yung iniwan mo
24:07.8
He's gonna come by
24:08.8
anytime soon, right?
24:09.8
At some point of his life,
24:10.8
hahanapin at hahanapin
24:11.8
ang tuong nanay at tatay.
24:13.8
So, I'm gonna have
24:15.8
And it's gonna be soon.
24:21.8
anong message mo sa kanya.
24:25.8
I love you, anak.
24:26.8
It's so many times
24:27.8
that I spoke on TV,
24:29.8
always mentioning your name,
24:31.8
always giving you
24:32.8
the best messages
24:33.8
I could muster up for you.
24:35.8
Anak, I love you.
24:37.8
Soon you're gonna be here
24:38.8
in the Philippines, right?
24:39.8
And that would be the time
24:41.8
we would be able to
24:42.8
have with each other.
24:43.8
Your sisters know you
24:45.8
from head to toe.
24:48.8
kilala ka nila, anak.
24:49.8
Everyone in the family
24:54.8
And we're all looking forward
24:56.8
Of course, kahit kasama ko sa bae
24:57.8
yung mga anak ko,
24:58.8
si Anaya at si Mahe,
25:00.8
I love you, my girl.
25:01.8
And you know that
25:02.8
mommy's always here for you.
25:03.8
When you were a kid,
25:04.8
ano ang memories mo
25:06.8
You'll be surprised, tita.
25:08.8
Because before I was a musician,
25:12.8
Three to five years old,
25:13.8
I was in ballet classes.
25:21.8
I was so into it.
25:23.8
from eight years old
25:24.8
to thirteen naman,
25:25.8
I was in Raul's dance studio.
25:32.8
Eight to thirteen years old.
25:39.8
ewan ko kung ano,
25:40.8
ADHD ba yung tawag doon?
25:41.8
Kasi tita, para kung ano,
25:42.8
yung energizer ba ni,
25:43.8
I would climb trees,
25:44.8
I would climb walls like this,
25:45.8
yung pang Spiderman.
25:49.8
O parang mayroon pa
25:50.8
yung Chinese Garter.
25:52.8
I love that game.
25:58.8
hindi nila-landing e.
25:59.8
Parang meron muna kong half second
26:00.8
na bago ko lumanding.
26:02.8
Mga ganon nung trip ko
26:03.8
nung nine years old,
26:08.8
So, in other words,
26:11.8
tita hindi lang yun,
26:12.8
I dance on top of a glass table.
26:13.8
So my foot like this,
26:14.9
shattered twelve stitches.
26:18.9
parang ka kitikiti?
26:19.7
Parang ako, my life is ruined.
26:22.4
Ito na yung drummer ng tatay ko.
26:23.7
Meron akong ginagawa nung bata ko, parang I would walk in rhythm.
26:29.5
mahilig akong maganyan.
26:32.1
na doon na yung musicality.
26:34.8
Ang hiling ko maganyan.
26:36.9
Nanapansin yung drummer ng tatay ko.
26:39.1
So nung nakaganyan ako,
26:44.5
Hindi ko makatayo, di ba?
26:45.5
O, ito, hawakan mo yung drumstick.
26:47.0
Eh, yung gamit ko.
26:48.5
Gawin mo to, sabi niya.
26:49.7
And as soon as he did it, I was doing it.
26:55.6
Ayun pala, it's called the paradiddle na.
26:57.7
It's like an important,
26:58.9
it's like a basic drumstick.
27:00.4
Basic ano ng drums.
27:02.1
So sabi niya, nakakami, tuloy mo, tuloy mo.
27:03.8
Eh, ito lang gagawin ko.
27:05.4
O, yan lang, sige.
27:07.2
Para maali mo yung sarili mo.
27:11.8
Ay, ang galing ko, tita, sa ano.
27:13.9
So doon ka natuto sa drums.
27:15.3
Yun na, doon palang ako nagumpisa.
27:17.0
Mga eight years old ako.
27:18.0
So nung gumagaling na ako,
27:19.7
gusto ko na yung isang buong set.
27:21.8
Si tatay naman nun,
27:22.9
hindi, hindi ka magda-drums.
27:29.2
Tapos wala akong magawa.
27:30.7
Pinag-piano ako ni tatay sa Yamaha.
27:32.8
Pagdating ng teacher,
27:34.2
marunong po kayo magturo ng drums?
27:38.1
Hindi, ayoko ng piano.
27:41.1
And then, of course,
27:42.3
hindi ako tinuruan.
27:43.2
Dahil nga, di ba, piano.
27:46.7
And then, after recital,
27:48.3
parang ayoko na ituloy.
27:49.7
Bababad na ako sa music room namin.
27:52.0
May drums doon, oo.
27:54.4
during the rehearsals of tatay,
27:56.9
yung watawat band, you know,
27:58.4
all of them will be like,
27:59.3
yung mga nakakunatang noo,
28:00.4
tapos mga, di ba?
28:01.6
Tapos yung drummer,
28:02.8
ayoko itong mga nagigitar.
28:04.8
I studied the drums
28:06.2
from 8 until I was 13 years old, tita.
28:08.7
Every day for 8 hours.
28:10.2
Pinayagan ka eventually na tatay mo?
28:13.0
anong ngyari nun?
28:13.8
Kasi patago ko ginagawa eh.
28:15.4
Siyempre, yung drummer ni tatay,
28:16.7
binibigyan na ako ng mga parang,
28:17.9
oh, ito yung Tracy Chapman album.
28:20.0
Kasi nga, puro lang yun,
28:21.8
Para matuto ka lang.
28:24.4
album naman ni tatay,
28:25.4
and then hanggang nag-evolve ako
28:26.7
to Guns N' Roses,
28:30.7
Ako, yeah, di ba?
28:35.0
biglang pumasok si tatay
28:40.0
Hindi, nakagaling mo pala.
28:45.4
yung variety show
28:48.0
ni Vilma Santos before,
28:52.9
anak, mag-drums ka.
28:53.6
Ayoko, ayoko, ayoko.
28:54.5
Anong gusto mo sa sapatos?
28:56.2
ayoko, ayoko, ayoko.
28:59.8
Ayoko, ayoko, ayoko.
29:00.7
Anong gusto mo, nak?
29:02.8
Hello Kitty, siya.
29:03.7
Lahat ng gamit ko sa school.
29:05.7
Kaya nga may bribe.
29:08.6
ganun din yung anak ko,
29:10.2
Because she plays guitar.
29:13.6
She plays guitar.
29:14.6
Marulong mag-drums.
29:15.7
Ito yung 13 years old.
29:16.6
Yes, marulong mag-drums.
29:17.8
Tapos gusto rin niya matuto yung keyboard ko.
29:20.7
Now, she's the same.
29:26.9
Talking to the ocean.
29:28.0
Huwag sasabi yung kanta.
29:29.4
So, talagang ano.
29:31.8
that was me as a kid, no?
29:35.7
hanggang sa first band ko,
29:37.2
I was 13 years old lang, tita.
29:39.1
Ano yung first band mo?
29:40.2
Yung Luz Viminda.
29:44.5
ni tita Misa Pagita,
29:46.0
yung isa si Cowboy.
29:48.1
our basic was the son
29:49.8
of tita Sam's guitarist.
29:53.1
mga anak-anak na.
29:54.3
Second generation.
29:56.2
ikaw naman sa drums.
29:59.8
So, paano muna bigyan ng
30:01.1
importansya yung singing?
30:02.6
Or paano ka nag-diversify?
30:03.7
Naku, hobby naman yun, eh.
30:05.0
Since I was five.
30:06.2
Hobby namin yung ati ko.
30:08.2
Sabi nga ni Freddie,
30:11.2
niya lang tumakanta, eh.
30:12.9
So, para meron ng incline.
30:14.3
Alam mo yung gano'n,
30:14.9
may inclination na kasi nga
30:16.1
because of the genes,
30:17.9
Singing was parang
30:23.1
diversify my voice.
30:25.1
ano, may octaves ako, eh.
30:27.6
minaximize ko yun.
30:28.8
Through the years, gano'n.
30:29.8
And then, eventually,
30:30.5
yung pagiging drummer mo,
30:33.3
in favor of siyo,
30:35.7
Singing and writing.
30:37.0
Kasi nga, that time,
30:39.1
I really wanted to take it seriously.
30:41.2
Siyempre, si Tatay,
30:42.6
iba yung mentality niya, eh.
30:44.7
Iba yung gusto niya para sa'yo.
30:46.4
Hindi alam ni Tatay noon
30:48.4
Percussion Institute Technology
30:51.2
Hindi niya alam niya may gano'n.
30:53.2
Hindi niya alam na may
30:54.7
Yung mga ganyan mga music,
30:56.7
iba nga yung ano niya, eh.
30:58.1
Ang tingin niya kasi sa'kin,
31:01.3
I could really play,
31:02.9
musical instruments.
31:07.4
I was 14 when I first
31:11.2
kasi ang drums was
31:19.9
with my knowledge sa drums,
31:21.7
na-apply ko na rin siya sa
31:25.3
parang a different
31:31.2
aral na aral ako,
31:34.8
into learning the drums.
31:38.2
I haven't played drums
31:40.0
maybe my last time
31:42.0
But if I sit in the drums
31:45.4
O, balikan mo pa rin.
31:46.4
O, balikan mo pa rin.
31:47.6
umatic siya kasi,
31:49.1
it became like a DNA.
31:50.6
Alam mo yun yung,
31:56.3
that is how I feel with
31:57.8
all that I learned in music,
32:01.1
it's my latest, eh,
32:02.4
of all the instruments.
32:04.1
But I'm learning to
32:06.2
It's pretty good.
32:08.6
i-apply mo lang yung mga
32:13.3
sa music room niya,
32:15.3
ngayon kasi hindi na, eh.
32:16.2
Ay, kasama yun sa,
32:17.2
kasama yun pala sa
32:19.8
ang kagandaan ngayon,
32:21.6
I live in a studio now.
32:26.3
for the duration of
32:28.7
and approaching the
32:33.2
a recording studio,
32:36.3
which has a drum kit.
32:37.9
dance studio there,
32:44.8
Why it's so useful now?
32:48.2
ako mismo nag-edit
32:49.2
the Megan Aguilar channel ko.
32:51.2
the Megan Aguilar channel,
32:57.0
follow nyo naman ako.
33:00.3
And I'm doing all the,
33:02.0
the edits and everything.
33:02.9
that's very nice to hear.
33:05.8
some of your interviews,
33:08.1
you took drugs at age 15.
33:15.1
Kasi it was the 90s,
33:16.6
and yung grunge era
33:19.5
konting touch of the
33:20.5
flower power era,
33:27.4
I had a past with it.
33:29.3
alam ng father mo?
33:31.6
a lot in those days.
33:32.7
Because he was so busy
33:34.6
He wasn't home a lot
33:36.6
It was with my friends,
33:41.6
I smoked it for 10 years,
33:44.7
yung nabot ka hanggang
33:49.7
ganun kasi yung culture
33:51.1
na kinagistan ko eh.
33:53.6
there's all kinds of cultures,
33:56.6
meron yung conservative upbringing,
33:58.5
pero kasi sa akin,
34:02.0
I'm surrounded with musicians,
34:04.6
Chris Smith were in the house,
34:07.8
Asin was in the house.
34:09.1
And in those times,
34:11.0
what did you do in the 70s
34:16.8
nahook ka talaga,
34:21.2
parang it was just there.
34:22.7
Kaya lang nga kasi,
34:24.6
when I decided na,
34:26.0
parang gusto ko na maging mom
34:27.4
in two years time,
34:29.5
Ikaw rin ang nag-stop.
34:30.8
Ikaw rin ang nag-stop.
34:34.0
ilang taong gano'n?
34:37.4
you gave birth to Zuzane.
34:42.2
tumagal ang marriage nyo?
34:43.7
Three years nga lang.
34:44.5
Three years lang.
34:45.2
Kasi by the third year,
34:46.4
they took my son na.
34:48.4
And that was the time,
34:50.3
I first did shabu.
34:53.3
Parang you were so devastated.
34:55.5
it was just for six months
34:57.0
of my life at that time,
35:03.0
When you were 27.
35:06.4
Kasi nung tinanginan ako.
35:10.6
naging outlet mo.
35:14.9
Of course, losing your son.
35:22.1
wala naman sa Pilipinas
35:23.1
yung asawa ko na yun.
35:26.7
alam mo talagang ako lang
35:34.0
So, you tried shabu
35:35.8
when 29 years old ka.
35:41.4
I started to smoke cigarettes,
35:43.8
sabay-sabay ko ginawa, tita,
35:46.7
And I don't drink.
35:47.8
I don't smoke cigarettes.
35:49.2
I never did like it.
35:51.1
But for that time,
35:55.9
Mag-stop ka lang.
35:57.7
and then after that, tita,
36:01.2
next ko nag-shabu,
36:03.6
a few months ulit.
36:04.8
Parang gano'n lang,
36:05.5
parang may stage lang ako na gano'n
36:07.2
kasi hindi ko kinakaya yung lungkot.
36:09.1
And then after 6 months,
36:12.4
Hindi siya usual.
36:13.9
Paano yung career mo
36:16.0
I was busy, tita.
36:18.7
Even in those times,
36:20.1
10 years akong nagmamariwana,
36:22.2
bumabihay ako ng Europe lagi.
36:25.9
Japan, and everything.
36:29.0
it didn't cost my career.
36:32.5
when it comes to it,
36:33.6
kung alam kong may free time ako,
36:37.3
magja-juts and everything.
36:39.5
Pero pagka may show o ano,
36:44.6
They take that as parang,
36:48.4
That's why in my head,
36:49.8
how can I think that I'm an addict?
36:51.6
Kasi nga I can control how it happens.
36:53.6
Kasi I'm guessing,
36:54.8
kasi nga si tatay,
36:57.1
hindi rin addictive personality siya.
36:59.4
Being an addict is a,
37:02.3
It's a personality.
37:04.9
in his experience,
37:06.2
Parang tinry niya rin,
37:11.0
it didn't stay with him.
37:14.8
Kasi it didn't stay with me.
37:18.4
when I went into the rehab program,
37:20.4
it doesn't make a difference daw.
37:21.9
Whether you know how,
37:23.9
or when to take it,
37:26.0
you're still taking it.
37:26.8
Parang adi ka pa rin.
37:27.7
Was there a time na naglayas ka sa bahay niyo?
37:30.9
You were sixteen?
37:32.5
What prompted you to do?
37:35.2
masyado akong bata,
37:36.1
gusto ko nang maging independent.
37:37.8
Kasi kumikita ka na ng sariling mo pera?
37:40.8
kasi nung thirteen ako,
37:42.2
kaya ako kinarir yung drums
37:43.6
from eight years old to thirteen.
37:46.0
According to my tita Marlene,
37:47.5
I don't know if you're aware of tita Marlene,
37:48.9
the mom of my cousin,
37:51.0
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:52.7
she lived in the States, right?
37:54.5
According to her,
37:55.3
there's a percussion institute technology,
37:58.7
it's really a school for drumming.
38:01.3
I can be a professor,
38:02.2
I can be a session,
38:03.6
I can be a sessionist drummer
38:04.1
for like all the,
38:09.7
I could be like a session drummer
38:13.3
this is what I put in my head.
38:15.2
By the end of my training,
38:18.1
to get a scholarship,
38:20.9
sinabi na nga ng tita ko eh,
38:22.3
make it easy for your tatay
38:26.8
first thing you do is,
38:28.2
yung hindi siya gagasos
38:30.1
para ipadala ko doon.
38:32.0
apply ka for scholarship.
38:33.6
that's what I was planning
38:34.9
without telling yet my father.
38:38.5
tunog ano na ako tita.
38:39.9
I was tunog professional already.
38:41.7
The scholarship requirements was,
38:43.7
I had to make a drum demo.
38:47.3
I will arrange a drum,
38:49.8
And I will read notes.
38:51.2
And I did all of this.
38:53.1
nasyak na siguro yung tatay ko
38:59.2
it didn't sink in to me.
39:02.0
mag-aaral ako eh.
39:06.0
ako bakit gusto kong lumayas ng bahay?
39:11.3
sumamalob ko dun.
39:12.4
Hindi kami nagkaintindihan eh.
39:13.7
Parang feeling mo,
39:14.4
hindi ka sinusuportahan sa gusto mo.
39:16.4
nagsabi ng tatay ko,
39:17.3
kung yan ang gusto mo,
39:18.5
mag-album ka na lang.
39:21.4
hindi pa ako kumakanta.
39:22.5
Hindi ako nagigitara.
39:25.3
ka-Freddy Aguilar bootcamp.
39:27.8
Pag hindi ka natuto,
39:29.0
hindi ka na pwede mag-drums.
39:33.2
ginalingan ko mag-gitara,
39:35.9
just to show him na,
39:37.3
I can do all of that.
39:39.8
Huwag ko lang bitawan yung drums.
39:42.2
there was that clash of character,
39:50.0
as I was growing up,
39:52.7
She's not around.
39:55.3
you're gonna tell me,
40:01.2
when I decided to move out,
40:03.0
I actually lived with my tita,
40:05.0
who was a UP professor at that time.
40:08.5
yung pinaka-genius ng siblings ni tatay,
40:11.1
kasi PhD siya of everything.
40:13.2
If she wanted to go abroad,
40:14.7
she would take up a PhD,
40:19.4
alam mo yung parang rebel din,
40:20.5
na nagpakawalwalan eh.
40:23.7
Pero kasi iba yung dating.
40:24.8
May gusto ka lang gawin talaga.
40:27.0
Pero iba yung dating,
40:31.9
Tumira naman ako sa tita,
40:33.2
hindi naman ako nag,
40:34.7
pero hindi mo na kasi mapagpaliwanag,
40:36.2
especially at that time of ours,
40:39.3
At saka sikat na sikat ang tatay mo.
40:42.8
Wala pang social media.
40:47.1
kahit interviewin ako,
40:48.3
hindi ako makakasagot ng maayos,
40:53.3
Parang doon na nag-start,
40:54.6
nagkaroon na ng stereotyping of
40:56.9
Megan Aguilar as her rebel.
40:59.5
that was the thing that happened.
41:01.1
And you know what?
41:04.3
Parang early 40s lang din siya eh.
41:07.5
Alam mo yung ganon?
41:08.9
Bata pa kaming lahat.
41:09.9
At at the peak of his career.
41:12.5
He was at the peak of his career.
41:14.1
He really didn't have time,
41:16.2
Binigay sa akin yung album,
41:18.1
na parang yun na lang ang gawin ko.
41:21.2
not to stop me then from creating,
41:24.0
Hindi kasi ganon yung dating sa akin,
41:26.4
Kasi hindi naman kami,
41:27.2
Diba yung understanding mo?
41:31.0
nagigets ko na yung mga nangyari.
41:32.8
Ngayon mo lang nag-realize ka.
41:33.2
Yung parang sinasabi ko sa'yo tita na,
41:36.0
like with things in my past,
41:37.7
I've come to terms with them.
41:39.2
Kasi yun yung reason.
41:42.1
sinisisi ko si tatay,
41:43.8
sinisisi ko yung nani ko.
41:45.2
When I go back to that,
41:47.4
nakikita ko na yung,
41:48.8
naiintindihan ko na ba't ganon yung nangyari.
41:51.9
yun yung isa sa kagandahan ng,
41:55.6
So, I don't know tita kasi,
41:57.3
I made an effort to understand
41:59.6
anong nangyari sa akin.
42:02.0
coming from that trail of thought tita to now,
42:07.0
Hindi ako nagyayabang eh,
42:08.3
pero ang hirap manggaling doon.
42:12.1
Ang hirap manggaling at mapunta doon tita,
42:15.4
Because some don't leave that place.
42:17.2
Some get stuck in that,
42:20.5
there are mental,
42:22.3
mental disorders.
42:25.5
Would you consider 2023
42:27.2
as the most challenging year in your life?
42:34.2
I went to hell and back,
42:37.2
That's how it feels.
42:39.8
but it was also my heaven.
42:42.3
that is a great experience.
42:44.0
And I really wish tita na,
42:48.8
Yung mga may pinagdadaanan na,
42:51.2
that's very important.
42:52.4
The emotional rollercoaster,
42:54.9
that's very important.
42:55.5
Biglang nawala sa inyo yung lahat.
42:59.2
don't kill yourself over that.
43:01.3
if you stay in the fear,
43:05.4
matatakot ka lang eh.
43:07.8
meron ngang ano eh,
43:10.8
there's new mercy,
43:15.9
hold on till you see the sun.
43:22.8
That is a verse in songs.
43:25.3
that I'm talking to you.
43:28.2
napanood ko yung guesting mo
43:29.7
kay Sen. Rafi Tulfo.
43:32.7
Everybody watch it.
43:34.6
Anong gusto mong mensahin
43:35.8
ay parating sa kanila?
43:37.0
Lalo na kay Sen. Rafi,
43:39.3
he opened also doors for you.
43:43.0
ni Brother Julius,
43:44.1
I publicly apologize
43:45.9
to the Sen. Tulfo.
43:57.1
that would be great
43:58.0
if it can still happen,
44:00.4
I'm not counting on it,
44:05.0
maybe I just pray
44:07.1
some project together.
44:12.0
suicidal awareness,
44:17.5
it's something na
44:18.3
you can recover from,
44:20.1
It's something na hindi,
44:21.4
hindi kailangan mas taka lang dun
44:22.9
sa drug addiction.
44:24.0
Yung mga ganon ba,
44:28.4
I actually have a chance,
44:30.8
Direk Coco Martin.
44:41.6
So, ito yung dapat
44:43.3
I'm really hoping
44:45.4
that it will manifest
44:47.4
into another dream
44:49.7
come true for me.
44:52.5
I would love to be in a,
44:53.6
Nag-artista ka naman
44:55.0
I would love to be on
44:58.4
may nangyari kasi
44:59.2
during the times na
45:01.6
kontribusya ko na
45:06.1
parang Coco Martin
45:07.4
hinahanap si Megan Aguilar.
45:09.7
sabi nung mensahe doon,
45:13.3
ni Direk Coco Martin
45:18.7
bigyan ng trabaho
45:24.8
si Luis Manzano naman.
45:27.3
bigyan ng pera si Megan.
45:28.8
Eka Instagram ko si
45:32.6
asan yung pera ko?
45:46.9
So, they reached out to you?
45:50.9
that's what I'm looking forward to,
45:52.9
with Direk Coco Martin.
45:55.7
Pag nangyari yan,
45:57.9
okay na si Megan Aguilar.
45:58.9
Okay na, okay na.
46:00.3
Can I ask you something?
46:03.2
kinalimutan mo na,
46:08.3
At hindi mo nito babalikan
46:09.6
Hindi na, no way.
46:11.2
Pagkatapos kong gumanda ulit,
46:13.0
Nagmukha akong ano nun eh.
46:17.4
Minsahin mo muna dun sa mga,
46:19.1
lalo na yung mga taong
46:20.0
nakapanood dun sa
46:23.8
Kasi syempre maraming
46:27.5
na ganito-ganito ka.
46:28.7
So, anong gusto mong
46:29.5
mensahe parating sa kanila?
46:31.9
when it comes to my experience
46:34.5
Rafi Tufin Action,
46:39.2
at naging masama.
46:43.1
ang kagandahan po kasi,
46:52.9
half of the world
46:55.8
half of the world
46:57.2
half of the world
46:59.1
while half of the world
47:02.4
an example po of a
47:07.0
We are not always up.
47:08.5
Sometimes we are down.
47:16.4
Kasi habang buhay,
47:21.1
hindi lang po yun kasabihan.
47:26.5
kayo po mag-de-decide.
47:28.1
Bandang huli talaga po,
47:30.6
And you cannot do that
47:32.7
Have a really good
47:34.3
relationship with God.
47:35.5
And repentance as well.
47:37.7
Because repentance
47:39.9
that you believe in God.
47:42.3
And when you repent,
47:43.6
that is your salvation.
47:46.2
yung kasiguraduhan po natin
47:48.2
that we will go to heaven.
47:50.2
It's not because of
47:56.5
na marunong ka mag-sisi.
47:59.8
At marunong ka rin
48:01.5
huwag nang umulit.
48:03.1
At marunong ka rin
48:04.2
tumanggap ng mga pagkatamani mo.
48:06.1
Yun ang importante.
48:07.2
Pagtanggap po sa inyong sarili.
48:09.5
We are not perfect.
48:10.6
We are far from that.
48:13.4
We are all flawed.
48:16.2
Mawala ang lahat.
48:17.7
sabi ko nga kay Tita,
48:21.3
kung nasa yung mga
48:22.2
sa daan beses ko lumipat.
48:23.9
Material na bagay yan.
48:24.9
I'm starting from scratch.
48:28.4
Pero yun na lang eh.
48:29.7
Everything else is already
48:34.1
That's the most important.
48:36.8
redeeming yourself, Tita.
48:38.5
Like I have redeemed myself
48:39.7
with you here right now.
48:42.7
Hindi ko alam na,
48:44.6
akala ko hindi mo na ako
48:45.3
i-invite because of what I did.
48:48.3
Hindi, nagtampo ako for a while.
48:49.5
Tampo lang naman.
48:50.9
Iba yung tampo sa galing.
48:52.2
Because God touched your heart for me.
48:54.1
That's what happened.
48:55.1
Hindi naman nawawali natin
48:56.3
pagmamahal sa iyo,
48:58.3
Yan po yung power of God.
48:59.8
When He touches the hearts,
49:01.2
we cannot stop anything.
49:03.5
Like what it says in Isaiah,
49:06.5
no weapon formed against us
49:10.0
What's very important,
49:11.5
yung sabi ko nga kanina,
49:13.2
yung tanggapin natin
49:14.6
ang mga pagkakamali natin
49:15.9
at marunong tayong
49:18.8
alam natin may nagawa tayong mali.
49:22.2
Oh, especially now.
49:23.5
This is new year.
49:24.9
Start of the year.
49:33.6
of what happened to us
49:34.8
in the past three years.
49:36.8
From 2020 to 2023,
49:39.8
But now is our time.
49:41.1
And I want to see
49:48.8
Ama, malapit na pong lumabas.
49:54.3
Freddie is watching
49:55.7
your message to him.
49:57.0
Tatay, I love you.
50:08.6
And you forgave me.
50:13.3
Mas dun po talaga
50:15.7
bumuhos yung blessings
50:16.6
talaga for me, tay.
50:19.6
another scripture,
50:22.2
yung father and mother.
50:24.6
gonna be there with you.
50:29.6
God is more alive
50:32.9
ganun din siya sa'yo, tay.
50:34.6
I want you to live longer.
50:36.8
Please live longer pa!
50:38.7
That's what I want.
50:48.9
Your message to everyone.
50:50.4
My message to everyone.
50:53.2
forgiving yourself.
50:55.7
Kasi yun po yung nakakalimutan
50:58.0
Patawarin ang ating
51:03.9
by forgiving yourself
51:09.5
to forgive others as well.
51:11.5
that's very important po.
51:13.7
matters more than money.
51:20.0
Bago kita pasalamatan,
51:21.2
bago ti magpaalam,
51:22.0
please allow me to thank
51:23.3
my personal sponsor.
51:24.5
Pamdan Asian Cafe.
51:26.2
Maraming maraming salamat
51:32.0
most of you from Japan,
51:36.0
maraming salamat,
51:37.9
Aficionado by Joel Cruz,
51:40.0
Iris Beauty Care,
51:41.6
Vanilla Skin Clinic
51:42.6
at Robinson's Magnolia,
51:44.8
Mesa Tomas Morato,
51:48.4
Nessa Stilia Salon
51:49.4
for My Hair and Makeup,
51:50.6
Gandang Ricky Reyes,
51:51.8
Chato Sugay Jimenez,
51:54.6
Bebot Santos of Coloretic Clothing,
51:59.2
maraming salamat,
52:01.4
The Red Meat Shawarma,
52:02.8
maraming salamat,
52:04.8
Shinagawa Diagnostic and Preventive Care,
52:07.6
and Shinagawa LASIK and Aesthetics Center.
52:11.6
Maraming maraming salamat po.
52:13.3
At kayo mga kaibigan,
52:14.5
maraming salamat sa inyong patuloy na pagsabaybay
52:17.9
TikTok with Aster Amoyo.
52:19.8
Every Friday po yan
52:20.9
at huwag niyo pong kakalimutan.
52:24.5
Unhittable icon of TikTok
52:25.9
with Aster Amoyo.
52:28.6
syempre gusto kong pasalamatan dito si Megan.
52:32.5
I am so happy seeing you again.
52:38.1
Hindi kakaibang Megan Aguilar po
52:39.9
ang inyong makikita
52:40.9
at madutong ngayon sa araw na ito.
52:43.2
I'm so happy to see you.
52:45.0
And of course, alam kong
52:46.1
masayang-masaya ang tatay mo.
52:49.2
By dear friend na si Freddie Aguilar.
52:52.7
at least sana yung isa,
52:54.6
yung panganay mo,
52:57.6
One of these days,
53:00.1
I-claim na natin.
53:01.1
I-claim na natin.
53:03.3
Gin Beauty Academy.
53:05.6
It's my first sponsor, tita,
53:06.9
for skincare and nails.
53:09.8
that is in precedence
53:10.8
sa Avin BF Homes.
53:13.5
Thank you, Miss Gin.
53:14.7
Ito mo, may magdadatingan lang ngayon.
53:18.9
The world is so good.
53:22.4
Huwag nating sayangin.
53:31.8
And with that, mga kaibigan,
53:33.1
hanggang sa muli,
53:34.0
dito lamang po sa
53:35.0
Tiktok with Aster Amoyo.
53:37.8
God bless us all.
53:51.8
Thank you for watching.
