00:30.0
Hindi ka pinanganak sa Hawaii?
00:51.5
Ako pinanganak sa Philippines po.
00:53.0
Hanggang 12 years old, di ba?
00:54.4
Tapos nag-move ka doon dahil?
00:58.7
Ilang kayo magkakapatid sa mami mo?
01:01.6
Sa daddy, apat po kami.
01:05.5
Pero yung sa mami mo at sa daddy mo, ikaw lang?
01:08.6
Yung real dad mo, biological?
01:10.3
I never knew him.
01:11.4
So nung pinanganak po ako,
01:12.4
meron po akong pinakilala sa akin ni mama na dad.
01:15.3
Wala pong may alam.
01:16.6
So akala ng buong family, dad ko po yun.
01:20.4
Until lumabas siya noong 2016.
01:22.9
Okay, this is my dad.
01:24.0
But I never really cared too much
01:25.4
kasi I never had a dad.
01:26.8
Walang relationship.
01:27.8
And I was already old.
01:28.8
I was probably 16.
01:30.0
Sa Hawaii na po ako noon.
01:32.2
Nakilala ko po siya sa Facebook.
01:34.8
So walang relationship at all?
01:36.1
Wala pong relationship at all.
01:37.7
Hindi naging madali yung buhay mo sa Hawaii?
01:39.8
Kala ko po magiging madali.
01:41.0
Kasi when you think about America,
01:42.3
US, oh my gosh, fun, right?
01:44.6
Lalo na pagbata ka?
01:45.7
Opo, pag nasyempre nakakasakay ang aeroplano, gano'n.
01:48.0
So pagkapunta ko po doon,
01:50.2
a week after, it was the worst nightmare.
01:53.9
Nag-petition po sa akin is yung stepdad ko.
01:56.9
Asawa ng mami mo noong time na yun?
01:58.2
Time na yun, opo.
02:00.5
So I was expecting, oh my gosh, I'm gonna have a dad.
02:02.1
I'm only like 12 years old.
02:03.5
And it was like, bakit ako pumunta dito?
02:06.4
Kasi it was very terrifying.
02:08.7
Kasi hindi pa po ko nakaka-move on sa fact na nasa Hawaii ako.
02:12.7
And then it became a nightmare already.
02:14.6
Parang trauma talaga.
02:16.5
Physical was bad.
02:18.3
Binubugbog ang nanay mo?
02:20.3
And then sometimes me, nahihit din po ako.
02:22.9
Nagsasakitan sila?
02:24.7
Kasi yung anak niya po, yung family niya nandoon.
02:26.6
So parang yung point niya is jealousy na
02:29.0
kasama niya ako sa bahay, pero hindi niya kasama yung anak niya.
02:31.7
Walang safe space sa bahay?
02:35.7
Nag-adjust at 12?
02:37.2
Two days after, nag-school na po ako.
02:39.4
Like I went to school right away.
02:41.0
Yun na lang ang escape.
02:42.0
Yun na lang ang escape.
02:43.7
Anong pinaka-vivid na memory?
02:45.4
Yung di mo malilimutan?
02:46.8
For my mom, yung tinapunan siya ng lamp.
02:50.5
Like a glass lamp.
02:53.1
Opo, sinahinig ko yung kak.
02:56.5
And then second one was,
02:60.0
She was totally naked.
03:02.2
Hindi ko alam anong nangyaring yung room.
03:04.3
Nakikita ko, naka-opo.
03:05.3
Tapos nilock out niya sa labas si mama.
03:07.6
Nasa labas, mga tao.
03:09.5
Anong ginagawa mo nun?
03:10.7
I was in my room.
03:11.4
I couldn't say anything.
03:13.7
So pag may mga ganong episode,
03:15.2
paano ka nakaka-recover?
03:16.5
Like let's say the next day,
03:17.7
anong gagawin mo?
03:18.5
Or paano yung halimbawa kakain na kayo magkakasama?
03:22.6
I stay in my room the whole time.
03:24.5
Never kayo nagkausap ng mami mo?
03:26.1
Whenever niyang in-explain sa'yo na?
03:27.7
She hates it whenever I talk about it.
03:29.3
It's not a topic na I would talk about.
03:32.5
You know, when I sinasabing ko siya na,
03:34.7
please stop, let's go.
03:36.6
But I feel like the more toxic it is,
03:38.2
sometimes mga tao,
03:39.4
they love the challenge in their relationship, you know?
03:42.3
May mga taong attracted sa drama.
03:45.2
And my mom is number one with that.
03:47.4
May mga ganon, ano?
03:48.9
Parang ako rin po,
03:50.6
if my relationship is not,
03:52.4
like walang drama,
03:53.7
gagawa ko ng drama.
03:55.8
Nag-i-gets kita kasi my sister ganyan,
03:59.7
Parang walang dramahan,
04:03.4
Kasi yung asawa niya ngayon,
04:05.0
sobrang peaceful.
04:06.4
Nasanay daw siya dun sa dati,
04:07.9
ang daming mga dramahan.
04:10.1
Oo, namimiss daw niya yung dramahan.
04:13.2
ganun nga yun eh,
04:13.9
you attract who you are.
04:16.1
I think with my mom,
04:17.2
I think she's better independent, honestly.
04:21.0
kasi she's very dominant eh.
04:23.9
kapag breadwinner ang babae,
04:25.4
at sanay na maging independent,
04:26.9
they also act like
04:27.8
haligin ng tahanan.
04:29.2
Kasi nakakapag-provide eh.
04:30.7
So, hindi pwedeng dalawa yung haligin,
04:32.2
dahil talagang magka-clash.
04:34.3
That's always been the problem
04:36.4
Very, very strong woman po siya.
04:38.2
That's a good thing.
04:39.3
But the thing is,
04:40.2
loving din po siya.
04:41.4
She's also looking for that
04:42.5
love and affection, right?
04:44.4
It's not a good combination.
04:47.0
I cannot find a day
04:48.1
na hindi siya nag-away.
04:49.1
Kahit Pasko, New Year,
04:51.8
First birthday ko sa Hawaii,
04:56.4
From 12 hanggang.
05:00.6
Yes, one year lang naman po.
05:02.4
I would pray every single day
05:04.0
na sana iwan na kami.
05:05.6
paano pag iniwan na kami?
05:06.8
Ah, nag-pray ka na iwan na kayo.
05:08.5
Oo, nag-pray ako every single day
05:10.2
na I hope this suffering ends.
05:13.1
Ayokong man yung mangyari sa kanya,
05:14.3
but I need this whole situation
05:16.3
So, paano na-stop yun
05:21.5
sinakto niya nga sa school ako,
05:23.4
nasa work si mama.
05:24.4
Kinuha niya lahat ng gamit.
05:25.3
Wala kami na tira.
05:27.9
And a letter only.
05:29.1
Saying, I'm sorry,
05:30.0
blocked kami lahat eh after that.
05:31.3
Eh, dito nang tuwa ko.
05:33.3
Para nga, freedom!
05:36.5
mas maganda na ma-stress ako
05:38.6
paano ako magtatrabaho now.
05:40.0
I can go to school,
05:40.8
I can just be free
05:41.6
and actually have fun in Hawaii.
05:43.1
Like, I was working
05:43.9
when I was 13 years old in Hawaii.
05:46.0
Ay, nagtrabaho ka ng mga brands.
05:56.3
I believe I worked,
05:57.0
hindi ko nangarin na
05:59.2
Ang dami mong pinasok na trabaho.
06:01.1
I wanted to gain experience
06:02.3
na parang I wanted fashion,
06:03.7
always love fashion.
06:05.8
parang blessed si mama sa akin
06:07.8
naging masamang bata
06:09.6
because if I was in America,
06:11.8
If that stress cost me so much,
06:15.2
or like behind you.
06:18.2
I have a family in the Philippines.
06:19.5
That's always in my mind
06:22.7
It's always been like that
06:23.9
because I saw my mom
06:26.0
since nasa Japan po siya.
06:28.0
And kasi ako lang
06:30.4
so sinututulong sa pamilya ko,
06:32.4
eh ako lang naman
06:33.1
yung susunod dito
06:34.2
to Dallas, Texas.
06:34.6
So na-carry mo yung ano?
06:35.8
Na-carry ko po yun.
06:36.7
so early in life.
06:37.5
Alam mo na kagad.
06:39.2
Nung time na yun,
06:45.5
Pero sa Philippines,
06:46.2
konti-konti na ano.
06:47.6
May mga snippets.
06:48.8
May mga snippets na.
06:50.1
May mga pahaging.
06:51.0
Pero nung sa Hawaii,
06:55.7
Two years lang nun.
06:56.9
Paano mo sinabi sa mami mo?
06:58.6
I came home with nails na agad.
07:00.7
Ang sabi ko sa kanya,
07:02.8
ano ba sa kamay mo?
07:03.8
Sabi niya ko sa akin,
07:04.5
sabi ko may shooting ako sa school
07:06.0
and may theater kami.
07:08.2
Anong taon ka nun?
07:13.0
I'm gonna be a bird.
07:16.3
Alam na niya yun.
07:16.8
Alam na niya yun.
07:18.3
So walang heart-to-heart talk na mami,
07:23.0
hindi niya ako kayang approach din eh.
07:24.3
Kasi hindi namin alam yung isa't isa.
07:26.3
Nagkakapaan kayo.
07:26.8
Oo, nagkakapaan for the whole years.
07:29.3
very, very good na.
07:31.4
Much better than the first time.
07:33.5
you want to be famous.
07:35.0
Or you want to be a star.
07:35.9
Yes, I want to be a superstar.
07:37.3
I tried everything.
07:38.1
Gusto ko maging singer.
07:39.0
Gusto ko lahat parang,
07:40.0
parang just to work it out
07:41.1
with something na parang
07:41.9
magiging famous ako.
07:42.9
You know what I mean?
07:43.6
It's always been a dream.
07:44.5
Like when I was a kid,
07:45.6
nung natatandaan ko po ito talaga.
07:48.0
When I was five years old,
07:49.3
I would look at myself and I'm like,
07:50.2
akong pinakaguwapong bata.
07:52.0
Parang gumagano na ako sa mirror.
07:54.3
So yun ang gusto mo nung bata?
07:55.6
Yun ang gusto ko po nung bata talaga.
07:56.9
Paano bang naging fine as China pala?
08:01.0
nasa high school po ako,
08:02.0
ginawa ko na po siya actually
08:03.1
mga freshman year or sophomore year.
08:05.3
gusto ko ng paparatsi name.
08:07.3
a lot of more African-Americans
08:08.8
have used that name, right?
08:11.1
yung mga rappers,
08:13.1
wait, I can't use that.
08:13.9
So, C-H-I-N-A na.
08:18.0
I'm the finest and then,
08:19.2
Parang finest Asian.
08:20.4
Yes, finest Asian.
08:21.5
Ikaw ang nang pangalan
08:22.3
ng isa sa sarili mo?
08:23.1
Sa sarili ko nun.
08:23.7
Tinawag mo ng sarili mo na ganun?
08:25.1
Yes, I changed my Instagram
08:25.8
and my everything.
08:26.7
Paano napasok yung TikTok?
08:28.3
Paano yung sa pagv-video
08:31.2
I was so desperate
08:33.1
I wanna do something.
08:34.0
Kasi nag-photography ako,
08:35.0
hindi ako sumikat dun.
08:35.9
Try ko ng kanta-kanta,
08:37.0
hindi ako sumikat dun.
08:37.9
I was doing really good
08:39.0
like photography in Hawaii.
08:40.7
I did it as a job.
08:41.7
I was actually getting paid a lot
08:43.1
as a 15, 16-year-old.
08:45.8
Nag-photography ako dun.
08:48.6
Kano binabayad sa'yo nun?
08:49.8
For 300 to 400 dollars,
08:51.3
mataas ang charging ko nun.
08:55.0
So, talagang nag-hustle ka rin talaga?
08:57.5
Since I was 10, I was hustling.
08:59.2
I was already hustling.
09:00.2
So, nung nag-hustle ka,
09:02.4
ito na ba yung time na
09:03.5
tinulungan mo na rin
09:04.8
yung family mo sa Philippines?
09:06.6
Lahat po ng sweldo ko
09:07.4
from 13 years old
09:11.3
Bayad sa renta sa Hawaii.
09:13.3
Ang tumutulong si mama.
09:15.2
So, I was working like a double job
09:16.6
at the age of 13, 14.
09:18.3
Habang next school?
09:22.5
Ang suyote ng family mo sa'yo.
09:25.2
pinakamalaki mong pinapadala sa family mo,
09:27.5
600 to 700 thousand pesos.
09:29.9
Yes, kasi marami po kami.
09:32.7
kung wala mo mga kusya,
09:37.3
Kasi po, marami talaga kami.
09:39.1
slowly na nababawasan
09:40.7
kasi I gave them a business na.
09:43.1
They started their,
09:43.8
yung mga pinsan ko.
09:45.0
Because I told my mga pinsan ko,
09:48.3
you have to start on your own feet.
09:49.5
Sabi kong gano'n.
09:50.5
I cannot do what my mom did.
09:51.9
Talagang they're very,
09:53.5
business minded na.
09:54.0
Dahil in-encourage mo na.
09:55.1
Yes, I encouraged them.
09:55.9
So, ngayon talagang nagugulot na lang
09:57.1
kung meron na silang
09:57.7
pina-open na ganito, ganyan.
09:59.8
actually I don't have to give them anything
10:00.9
because they can live on their own.
10:02.8
Pero sobrang sipag mong
10:03.8
nagtatrabaho sa Hawaii noon.
10:05.0
Lahat talagang ginawa mo.
10:06.5
I give credit to my mom too also.
10:09.8
I would say me too.
10:11.0
Pero mostly my mom.
10:11.9
Paano mo naramdaman na,
10:14.7
may following na?
10:16.7
ng San Francisco,
10:17.9
nag-video-video na po
10:19.3
Pero hindi lang po siya pumapatok.
10:20.5
First video ko po noon yun,
10:23.5
Tapos, yun ang mga American jokes.
10:25.3
Kumalat sa Twitter.
10:26.6
10,000, 5,000 followers ata.
10:28.6
16 years old ako,
10:30.0
I was already dancing as a drag queen.
10:31.7
And my mom didn't know that.
10:33.4
Sinot yung mga wig.
10:34.1
And gumawa na lang ako
10:35.0
content as Cassandra.
10:36.7
Doon ko na-build up si Cassandra.
10:38.7
Ikaw nagme-makeup niyan?
10:40.5
ang nag-makeup niyan.
10:41.8
Paano kayo nagkakilala ni Bretman?
10:47.3
And I would always dream about him.
10:48.5
I was so inspired.
10:51.0
Like I wanted to be like,
10:54.9
I wanna also do makeup.
10:56.0
He inspired a lot of people.
10:59.0
kasi it's so weird
10:59.9
whenever I dream of something,
11:01.1
like mapanigilip ako sa tulog ko,
11:03.0
I feel like it happens.
11:04.7
It's a manifestation.
11:05.1
Na-manifest talaga siya.
11:06.1
I have a weird manifestation
11:08.4
like the G-Wagon let's say.
11:09.5
Sabi yung G-Wagon.
11:11.7
Big dream po yan.
11:12.7
Nung sinabi nga sa akin,
11:13.8
nakabili na siya ng Benz,
11:16.4
Pagkita ko yung picture,
11:19.2
Di ba dream car yan?
11:20.8
Ang yaman yung finest China.
11:22.6
And I hate it na parang,
11:23.7
syempre kasi yung mga,
11:25.1
ayoko na iisip na ganoon.
11:26.6
Di ba may misconception sa'yo na,
11:28.7
anong pinakamalaking misconception?
11:32.7
Yun po yung misconception nila ngayon,
11:34.7
And before naman nun,
11:35.8
like parang kailangan ko tulungan,
11:36.9
like obligasyon ko parang tulungan
11:38.1
buong Philippines.
11:39.0
Like that's what they think of me now.
11:41.0
Yes, they demand stuff
11:42.2
and then before it started
11:43.1
as a giveaway po,
11:45.1
like it transitioned to,
11:47.4
no, you have to help us.
11:50.0
Pinapatulan ko po kasi yung mga haters eh.
11:51.8
Kaya bakit mo pinapatulan yung haters?
11:54.5
Well, I want content.
11:58.2
You make him rich.
11:59.3
Pinapayaman ka ng haters.
12:01.9
I have my sweldo,
12:03.3
I give to the people now.
12:05.0
Pero yun ang misconception sa'yo
12:06.4
na sobrang yaman mo.
12:07.9
Nasusoko lang po yung parts.
12:09.1
But people think,
12:10.4
like they exaggerate,
12:11.6
but I also exaggerate.
12:13.3
No, pero everything that you have now
12:15.1
is a product of your hustling.
12:17.4
And working hard.
12:18.0
Yes, me and my mom.
12:20.8
Tsaka may businesses kayo,
12:23.1
I wouldn't say I would give credit to myself.
12:27.6
and then ako yung mga 30.
12:29.2
pero ang galing kasi kahit na
12:30.7
may pinagdaanan kang
12:36.6
na turnaround mo yun, no?
12:38.3
I leave negativity.
12:40.3
since bata pa po ako,
12:43.0
Yung mga baggage na di natin ako.
12:44.1
Yes, mga baggage I don't.
12:45.4
Yung mga tinik sa likod.
12:46.3
Yung mga unforgiveness,
12:49.6
Hindi ka nagtatanim ng ganun.
12:52.3
sa isip kong ganun,
12:53.4
paano ako tataas ngayon?
12:54.9
Paano pa ako akyat ngayon
12:58.4
Eh, yung family ko,
12:59.2
talagang isipin ko ngayon.
13:00.8
Everyone is gonna have an opinion.
13:02.3
Kahit anong gawin niya po.
13:03.4
Mabait ka man or hindi,
13:05.0
people will always have an opinion.
13:06.3
So that's what I got
13:07.2
from the whole situation.
13:10.5
just keep doing what you're doing,
13:11.9
people will always hate.
13:12.9
Di ba in the beginning,
13:14.1
you wanted to be famous?
13:15.4
Now, what is the purpose
13:16.5
of me being known?
13:18.0
I feel like for me,
13:20.5
parang I just wanna spread,
13:22.2
like influence people
13:29.0
it's corny to hear,
13:31.8
But what I mean by that
13:36.9
if you don't take life
13:38.3
then watch my videos.
13:39.7
Pero kung pikunin ka,
13:44.0
kung mawala ang social media,
13:45.1
it's totally fine
13:45.7
because I can still provide.
13:46.9
And that's the reason
13:47.6
why I don't wanna provide
13:48.6
my personal business.
13:49.8
Na pinaghirapan ng mama ko
13:50.9
and that's my respect for her.
13:52.4
No matter what it is,
13:53.6
this whole entire social media
13:54.7
for her own sake,
13:57.9
because she's not,
13:59.7
Kamusta na yung relationship
14:00.8
niyo ngayon ng mama mo?
14:03.6
with relationship.
14:05.0
Siya yung last na heartbreak ko dito.
14:08.5
Umiiyak ka na sa kanya.
14:10.8
I was crying to my family
14:12.8
iba na kami ni mama ngayon,
14:15.9
kasi nakakaiyak ka na ngayon.
14:17.5
Kaya mo na magsabi sa kanya.
14:19.1
And umiiyak na rin siya sa akin.
14:21.6
kahit naggaano ka dark yung past,
14:24.1
dito natin makikita na
14:26.0
you can always turn your life around.
14:28.4
Don't dwell in it.
14:29.8
Life is parang so precious po eh.
14:32.8
hindi mo alam kung kailan yung
14:38.2
So that's why I don't dwell on like,
14:40.9
with my success now,
14:42.6
and my mom's success,
14:43.7
I think we all deserve this.
14:44.8
Me and her deserve this so much.
14:48.0
you blessed us so much.
14:49.2
Kaya ka nag-give back.
14:50.7
I give back so much.
14:54.7
kung babalikan mo yung 12-year-old self mo,
14:57.1
na unang dating sa Hawaii,
14:58.6
ano yung sasabihin mo sa kanya?
15:00.3
He did a really good job
15:01.4
on keeping it all together.
15:06.1
I am where I am now
15:07.3
because of that kid.
15:21.1
Tibay mo pala ng 12 years old.
15:22.7
To think na you're
15:24.6
Kasi yung experiences po eh.
15:26.2
You're also hiding your identity
15:28.0
nung time na yun.
15:29.3
Pero that was probably the worst thing
15:30.5
that ever happened to my life,
15:31.4
but it was also the biggest
15:32.7
blessing in disguise
15:34.1
na nangyari sa buhay ko.
15:37.8
the reason why millennials
15:46.6
Na sobrang daming nangyayari,
15:50.2
ilang mga paintings,
15:56.6
so relaxed and like,
15:57.6
I thought I was gonna be so,
16:00.7
ano bang sa loob na na-stress
16:05.3
ito pa yung family.
16:08.0
Si Lola nagpalaki sa'yo?
16:14.6
mga tita na naging mama ko rin.
16:20.8
Kali pa kayo pampanga?
16:23.9
Tony Gonzaga yan.
16:27.5
Pwede magpa-picture,
