FynestChina opens up about a deeply personal and painful experience from when we got to Hawaii and how it changed the course of his life.

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Hi, nice to meet you.

Ganda ng Hawaii.

Opo, very tropical.

Ganito ang bahay.

Parang sa mga Scandinavian.

Di ba?

Yan kasi ang uso ngayon.

Ganito ang talikot tayo sa bahay.

Pag nangyayari ng bahay, parang puro ganito, ganyan.

Yes, relaxing.

Hindi ka pinanganak sa Hawaii?

Sa Tarlac po.

Ako pinanganak sa Philippines po.

Hanggang 12 years old, di ba?

Tapos nag-move ka doon dahil?

For my mom.

Ilang kayo magkakapatid sa mami mo?

At sa daddy mo?

Ako lang po.

Sa daddy, apat po kami.

Pero yung sa mami mo at sa daddy mo, ikaw lang?

Ako lang.

Yung real dad mo, biological?

I never knew him.

So nung pinanganak po ako,

meron po akong pinakilala sa akin ni mama na dad.

Wala pong may alam.

So akala ng buong family, dad ko po yun.

Until lumabas siya noong 2016.

Okay, this is my dad.

But I never really cared too much

kasi I never had a dad.

Walang relationship.

And I was already old.

I was probably 16.

Sa Hawaii na po ako noon.

Nakilala ko po siya sa Facebook.

So walang relationship at all?

Wala pong relationship at all.

Hindi naging madali yung buhay mo sa Hawaii?

Kala ko po magiging madali.

Kasi when you think about America,

US, oh my gosh, fun, right?

Dream!

Lalo na pagbata ka?

Opo, pag nasyempre nakakasakay ang aeroplano, gano'n.

So pagkapunta ko po doon,

a week after, it was the worst nightmare.

Nag-petition po sa akin is yung stepdad ko.

Asawa ng mami mo noong time na yun?

Time na yun, opo.

Filipino siya?

Filipino.

So I was expecting, oh my gosh, I'm gonna have a dad.

I'm only like 12 years old.

And it was like, bakit ako pumunta dito?

Sabi ko gano'n.

Kasi it was very terrifying.

Bakit?

Kasi hindi pa po ko nakaka-move on sa fact na nasa Hawaii ako.

And then it became a nightmare already.

Parang trauma talaga.

Physical was bad.

Binubugbog ang nanay mo?

Both.

And then sometimes me, nahihit din po ako.

Nagsasakitan sila?

Yes.

Kasi yung anak niya po, yung family niya nandoon.

So parang yung point niya is jealousy na

kasama niya ako sa bahay, pero hindi niya kasama yung anak niya.

Walang safe space sa bahay?

Wala po.

So paano ka?

Nag-adjust at 12?

Two days after, nag-school na po ako.

Like I went to school right away.

Yun na lang ang escape.

Yun na lang ang escape.

So I stay.

Anong pinaka-vivid na memory?

Yung di mo malilimutan?

For my mom, yung tinapunan siya ng lamp.

Like a glass lamp.

Opo, sinahinig ko yung kak.

Ah, nabasa?

Opo.

And then second one was,

nag-hubad siya.

She was totally naked.

Si mama.

Hindi ko alam anong nangyaring yung room.

So nakikita mo?

Nakikita ko, naka-opo.

Tapos nilock out niya sa labas si mama.

Nasa labas, mga tao.

Anong ginagawa mo nun?

I was in my room.

I couldn't say anything.

I was a child.

So pag may mga ganong episode,

paano ka nakaka-recover?

Like let's say the next day,

anong gagawin mo?

Or paano yung halimbawa kakain na kayo magkakasama?

I don't.

I stay in my room the whole time.

Never kayo nagkausap ng mami mo?

Whenever niyang in-explain sa'yo na?

She hates it whenever I talk about it.

It's not a topic na I would talk about.

You know, when I sinasabing ko siya na,

please stop, let's go.

But I feel like the more toxic it is,

sometimes mga tao,

they love the challenge in their relationship, you know?

May mga taong attracted sa drama.

Yes.

And my mom is number one with that.

May mga ganon, ano?

Yes.

Parang ako rin po,

in a way,

if my relationship is not,

like walang drama,

gagawa ko ng drama.

I'm bored.

Nag-i-gets kita kasi my sister ganyan,

si Alex.

Parang walang dramahan,

walang away.

Kasi yung asawa niya ngayon,

sobrang peaceful.

Yes.

Nasanay daw siya dun sa dati,

ang daming mga dramahan.

Well, externa.

Oo, namimiss daw niya yung dramahan.

So, kasi nga,

ganun nga yun eh,

you attract who you are.

Yes.

I think with my mom,

I think she's better independent, honestly.

Pero hindi,

kasi she's very dominant eh.

Sometimes,

kapag breadwinner ang babae,

at sanay na maging independent,

they also act like

haligin ng tahanan.

Kasi nakakapag-provide eh.

So, hindi pwedeng dalawa yung haligin,

dahil talagang magka-clash.

Yes.

That's always been the problem

kay ma'am.

Very, very strong woman po siya.

That's a good thing.

But the thing is,

loving din po siya.

She's also looking for that

love and affection, right?

It's not a good combination.

May time po na,

I cannot find a day

na hindi siya nag-away.

Kahit Pasko, New Year,

sigawan.

Every situation.

First birthday ko sa Hawaii,

may suntukan.

Ilang years,

yung ganun.

From 12 hanggang.

Na-endure mo.

One year lang.

One year?

Yes, one year lang naman po.

Thank the Lord.

I would pray every single day

na sana iwan na kami.

Pero inisip ko,

paano pag iniwan na kami?

Ah, nag-pray ka na iwan na kayo.

Oo, nag-pray ako every single day

na I hope this suffering ends.

Ayokong man yung mangyari sa kanya,

but I need this whole situation

to stop na.

So, paano na-stop yun

for a year?

Done.

He left.

One time,

sinakto niya nga sa school ako,

nasa work si mama.

Kinuha niya lahat ng gamit.

Wala kami na tira.

Pati pera?

Yes, wala.

And a letter only.

Saying, I'm sorry,

blocked kami lahat eh after that.

Eh, dito nang tuwa ko.

Ay, oo.

Para nga, freedom!

From the stress!

Gosh,

mas maganda na ma-stress ako

kung anong,

paano ako magtatrabaho now.

I can go to school,

I can just be free

and actually have fun in Hawaii.

Like, I was working

when I was 13 years old in Hawaii.

Ay, nagtrabaho ka ng mga brands.

Yes, oh my God!

Zara,

American Ego,

Boba Place,

Aldo,

Tory Burch,

Steve Madden,

Nordstrom,

I believe I worked,

hindi ko nangarin na

at this point.

Grabe!

Ang dami mong pinasok na trabaho.

I wanted to gain experience

na parang I wanted fashion,

always love fashion.

Luckily,

parang blessed si mama sa akin

na hindi ako

naging masamang bata

because if I was in America,

liberated.

If that stress cost me so much,

I can go rebel

or like behind you.

But I never.

I chose like,

oh my gosh,

I have a family in the Philippines.

That's always in my mind

that I'm here

for a mission.

It's always been like that

because I saw my mom

na nagtumutuloy

siya every time

since nasa Japan po siya.

And kasi ako lang

mag-isang anak.

So I was like,

so sinututulong sa pamilya ko,

eh ako lang naman

yung susunod dito

to Dallas, Texas.

So na-carry mo yung ano?

Na-carry ko po yun.

Right away,

so early in life.

Alam mo na kagad.

Yes.

Nung time na yun,

were you out?

Not yet.

I was scared.

Anong fault ka?

Pero opo,

sa Philippines,

tinatago ko pa.

Pero sa Philippines,

konti-konti na ano.

May mga snippets.

May mga snippets na.

May mga pahaging.

Pero nung sa Hawaii,

as a boy ka?

As a boy talaga.

Two years lang nun.

Paano mo sinabi sa mami mo?

I came home with nails na agad.

Ang sabi ko sa kanya,

oh mom,

ano ba sa kamay mo?

Sabi niya ko sa akin,

sabi ko may shooting ako sa school

and may theater kami.

Anong taon ka nun?

Mga 13, 14?

Ah, 15, 14 na.

Anong sabi niya?

Sabi ko,

I'm gonna be a bird.

Sabi niya,

oh okay.

Alam na niya yun.

Alam na niya yun.

So walang heart-to-heart talk na mami,

I'm gonna eat.

At I think,

hindi niya ako kayang approach din eh.

Kasi hindi namin alam yung isa't isa.

Nagkakapaan kayo.

Oo, nagkakapaan for the whole years.

Ngayon,

very, very good na.

I would say.

Much better than the first time.

Nabalitaan ko,

you want to be famous.

Or you want to be a star.

Yes, I want to be a superstar.

Always.

I tried everything.

Gusto ko maging singer.

Gusto ko lahat parang,

parang just to work it out

with something na parang

magiging famous ako.

You know what I mean?

It's always been a dream.

Like when I was a kid,

nung natatandaan ko po ito talaga.

Very vivid.

When I was five years old,

I would look at myself and I'm like,

akong pinakaguwapong bata.

Parang gumagano na ako sa mirror.

Sobrang iba po.

So yun ang gusto mo nung bata?

Yun ang gusto ko po nung bata talaga.

Paano bang naging fine as China pala?

Oh, um,

when I was,

nasa high school po ako,

ginawa ko na po siya actually

mga freshman year or sophomore year.

Sabi ko,

gusto ko ng paparatsi name.

And usually,

a lot of more African-Americans

have used that name, right?

For the China,

yung mga rappers,

ganun-ganyan.

So I was like,

wait, I can't use that.

So, C-H-I-N-A na.

Yung asia, diba?

So finest,

I'm the finest and then,

Parang finest Asian.

Yes, finest Asian.

Ikaw ang nang pangalan

ng isa sa sarili mo?

Sa sarili ko nun.

Tinawag mo ng sarili mo na ganun?

Yes, I changed my Instagram

and my everything.

Paano napasok yung TikTok?

Paano yung sa pagv-video

sa sarili mo?

I was so desperate

to just,

I wanna do something.

Kasi nag-photography ako,

hindi ako sumikat dun.

Try ko ng kanta-kanta,

hindi ako sumikat dun.

I was doing really good

like photography in Hawaii.

I did it as a job.

I was actually getting paid a lot

as a 15, 16-year-old.

Nag-photography ako dun.

Wow!

And mga...

Kano binabayad sa'yo nun?

For 300 to 400 dollars,

mataas ang charging ko nun.

Ang laki na nun.

Yes.

16 years old.

So, talagang nag-hustle ka rin talaga?

Yes.

Since I was 10, I was hustling.

11 years old,

I was already hustling.

So, nung nag-hustle ka,

kumikita ka na,

ito na ba yung time na

tinulungan mo na rin

yung family mo sa Philippines?

Opo.

Lahat po ng sweldo ko

from 13 years old

to 15 years old

sa bahay namin.

Bayad sa renta sa Hawaii.

Ang tumutulong si mama.

So, I was working like a double job

at the age of 13, 14.

Habang next school?

Yes.

Wow!

Half and half.

Opo.

Ang suyote ng family mo sa'yo.

Nabalitaan ko,

pinakamalaki mong pinapadala sa family mo,

600 to 700 thousand pesos.

Yes, kasi marami po kami.

Wow!

Minsan naman po,

kung wala mo mga kusya,

500, gano'n.

Pero, grabe!

500 thousand!

Kasi po, marami talaga kami.

Pero ngayon,

slowly na nababawasan

kasi I gave them a business na.

They started their,

yung mga pinsan ko.

Because I told my mga pinsan ko,

sabi ko,

hindi dapat,

you have to start on your own feet.

Sabi kong gano'n.

I cannot do what my mom did.

Talagang they're very,

you know,

business minded na.

Dahil in-encourage mo na.

Yes, I encouraged them.

So, ngayon talagang nagugulot na lang

kung meron na silang

pina-open na ganito, ganyan.

At this point,

actually I don't have to give them anything

because they can live on their own.

Pero sobrang sipag mong

nagtatrabaho sa Hawaii noon.

Lahat talagang ginawa mo.

I give credit to my mom too also.

But,

I would say me too.

Pero mostly my mom.

Paano mo naramdaman na,

oh shocks,

may following na?

Sa college na po

ng San Francisco,

nag-video-video na po

here and there.

Pero hindi lang po siya pumapatok.

First video ko po noon yun,

nag-vave ako,

naka-wig ako.

Tapos, yun ang mga American jokes.

Kumalat sa Twitter.

The next day,

10,000, 5,000 followers ata.

16 years old ako,

I was already dancing as a drag queen.

And my mom didn't know that.

So I had nails.

Sinot yung mga wig.

And gumawa na lang ako

content as Cassandra.

Doon ko na-build up si Cassandra.

Si Cassandra.

Ikaw nagme-makeup niyan?

Si Bretman

ang nag-makeup niyan.

Paano kayo nagkakilala ni Bretman?

Mutuals.

Kasi Hawaii.

Tapos Pinoy.

And I would always dream about him.

I was so inspired.

Talaga.

Like I wanted to be like,

you know,

like him.

Like one day,

sabi ko ganoon,

I wanna also do makeup.

He inspired a lot of people.

And with me,

kasi it's so weird

whenever I dream of something,

like mapanigilip ako sa tulog ko,

I feel like it happens.

It's so weird.

It's a manifestation.

Na-manifest talaga siya.

I have a weird manifestation

na if I want,

like the G-Wagon let's say.

Sabi yung G-Wagon.

Oh my gosh.

Big dream po yan.

Nung sinabi nga sa akin,

nakabili na siya ng Benz,

sabi ko,

G-Wagon?

Pagkita ko yung picture,

my gosh,

G-Wagon!

Di ba dream car yan?

Ang yaman yung finest China.

And I hate it na parang,

syempre kasi yung mga,

ano po,

ayoko na iisip na ganoon.

Di ba may misconception sa'yo na,

anong pinakamalaking misconception?

Like,

oh my gosh,

now I'm a saint.

Yun po yung misconception nila ngayon,

I'm a saint.

And before naman nun,

like parang kailangan ko tulungan,

like obligasyon ko parang tulungan

buong Philippines.

Like that's what they think of me now.

Di dream mo!

Yes, they demand stuff

and then before it started

as a giveaway po,

and it became,

like it transitioned to,

parang,

no, you have to help us.

No, you have to,

parang ganoon.

Pinapatulan ko po kasi yung mga haters eh.

Kaya bakit mo pinapatulan yung haters?

Well, I want content.

And it's like,

it's so fun.

You make him rich.

Yes.

Pinapayaman ka ng haters.

Yes, and now,

I have my sweldo,

I give to the people now.

Pero yun ang misconception sa'yo

na sobrang yaman mo.

Nasusoko lang po yung parts.

But people think,

like they exaggerate,

but I also exaggerate.

No, pero everything that you have now

is a product of your hustling.

Yes.

And working hard.

Yes, me and my mom.

And my stepdad.

Tsaka may businesses kayo,

di ba?

Yes.

I wouldn't say I would give credit to myself.

60% 17 si mama,

sila,

yung papa,

and then ako yung mga 30.

Hindi,

pero ang galing kasi kahit na

may pinagdaanan kang

like violent

and traumatic

na childhood,

na turnaround mo yun, no?

I leave negativity.

Like seriously,

since bata pa po ako,

I get rid of it.

I move on.

Yung mga baggage na di natin ako.

Yes, mga baggage I don't.

Yung mga tinik sa likod.

Yung mga unforgiveness,

bitterness,

anger.

Hindi ka nagtatanim ng ganun.

Hindi po.

Kaya po,

in a way,

sa isip kong ganun,

paano ako tataas ngayon?

Paano pa ako akyat ngayon

kung ang daming

sa likod ko?

Eh, yung family ko,

talagang isipin ko ngayon.

Parang ganun.

Everyone is gonna have an opinion.

Kahit anong gawin niya po.

Mabait ka man or hindi,

people will always have an opinion.

So that's what I got

from the whole situation.

Na parang,

just keep doing what you're doing,

people will always hate.

Di ba in the beginning,

you wanted to be famous?

Now, what is the purpose

of me being known?

I feel like for me,

at the moment,

parang I just wanna spread,

like influence people

in a good way.

I wanna give,

like spread love

and no hate.

And it's,

it's corny to hear,

di ba?

Parang,

oh, spread love,

no hate.

But what I mean by that

is parang,

with my content,

if you want fun,

I guess,

you know,

if you don't take life

so seriously,

then watch my videos.

Pero kung pikunin ka,

then don't.

If I flop out,

kung mawala ang social media,

it's totally fine

because I can still provide.

And that's the reason

why I don't wanna provide

my personal business.

Na pinaghirapan ng mama ko

and that's my respect for her.

No matter what it is,

I will give up

this whole entire social media

for her own sake,

her own privacy,

and her,

because she's not,

too really.

Kamusta na yung relationship

niyo ngayon ng mama mo?

I love it.

I can cry to her

with relationship.

Siya yung last na heartbreak ko dito.

Kaya,

oh,

hindi ko.

Hindi ka.

Umiiyak ka na sa kanya.

Oo ngayon.

Kaya it's like,

I was crying to my family

na parang,

iba na kami ni mama ngayon,

no?

Sabi,

oo,

sabi nila,

gano'n,

kasi nakakaiyak ka na ngayon.

Kaya mo na magsabi sa kanya.

And umiiyak na rin siya sa akin.

Pero di ba,

kahit naggaano ka dark yung past,

dito natin makikita na

you can always turn your life around.

Yes.

Don't dwell in it.

Life is parang so precious po eh.

Like,

hindi mo alam kung kailan yung

ending,

di ba?

Last mo.

So,

for me,

go lang ng go,

ng go,

ng go.

So that's why I don't dwell on like,

sad things.

Kaya,

with my success now,

and my mom's success,

I think we all deserve this.

Me and her deserve this so much.

Parang,

God,

you blessed us so much.

Kaya ka nag-give back.

Yes.

I give back so much.

Yung extra ko,

go.

So kung ngayon,

20,

25 ka kasi,

kung babalikan mo yung 12-year-old self mo,

na unang dating sa Hawaii,

ano yung sasabihin mo sa kanya?

He did a really good job

on keeping it all together.

Like,

being strong.

I am where I am now

because of that kid.

Tibay mo pala ng 12 years old.

To think na you're

also,

di ba?

Kasi yung experiences po eh.

You're also hiding your identity

nung time na yun.

Pero that was probably the worst thing

that ever happened to my life,

but it was also the biggest

blessing in disguise

na nangyari sa buhay ko.

Sa Instagram,

the reason why millennials

and Gen Zs now

want clear,

clean slate,

kasi lumaki tayo

sa mga bahay daw

ng mga lola,

lolo.

Na sobrang daming nangyayari,

like,

ilang carpet,

ilang,

ilang,

ilang mga paintings,

ilang mga plato,

ilang mga,

kasi,

yay!

Kaya nga,

so relaxed and like,

okay,

I thought I was gonna be so,

like,

stressed.

Sabi ko,

okay,

kuya,

ano bang sa loob na na-stress

at ako?

Ah,

ito pa yung family.

Ito si Lola.

Si Lola.

Si Lola nagpalaki sa'yo?

Yes.

Wow!

Laki sa lola.

Yes.

And then,

si mama ko rin,

parang mga,

ano ko,

mga tita na naging mama ko rin.

Ah, tita!

Hello!

Hello, hello.

Si mother.

Kali pa kayo pampanga?

Wow!

Oh, grabe.

Siyempre,

Tony Gonzaga yan.

Grabe ka naman.

Pwede magpa-picture,

mami.