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00:00.0
Never ako nagalit kay Lord.
00:01.5
Ang tinanong ko lang sa Kanya is,
00:03.7
ano yung purpose mo dito, Lord?
00:05.8
Kasi naniniwala ako na may plano ka
00:10.7
and your plan is not to harm me.
00:12.9
I think that's the beauty of having Jesus as our God,
00:17.6
na hindi Siya yung tipo na kailangan,
00:20.4
perfect ka pagdating mo sa akin.
00:22.5
Hindi, actually, come as you are.
00:25.1
Are you imperfect?
00:26.5
Come here, I will perfect you with my love.
00:28.7
And that's what I really loved about just getting to know God.
00:32.7
Kasi, ah, hindi ko pala kailangan magmalinis
00:36.2
bago ko lumapit sa Diyos.
00:38.3
Doon ako nausap ni God na parang,
00:41.2
feeling mo kasi ikaw yung teacher.
00:43.3
You're the tax collector.
00:44.9
When He talks to you, talaga iba.
00:46.6
Doon yung pinakita sa akin na you got to this point
00:49.1
because of your life choices that were not clean.
00:52.8
It was very hard to take, very painful.
00:55.2
Pero what's nice when God talks to you,
00:57.8
it's painful, pero magaat.
01:05.8
One time, may tumawag sa akin,
01:07.5
taga rito sa Pilipinas.
01:08.9
Hindi niya ako kilala.
01:10.1
Nakita niya lang daw sa Facebook,
01:11.5
may message niya ako, Brad, taga CCF ako.
01:14.3
Naalala lang kita, gusto kita ipag-pray.
01:16.8
Nung nabasa ko yung message niya,
01:18.6
iyak ako nang iyak sa CR.
01:19.9
Yung panahon na yun, yung down na down ako,
01:21.9
yung pinaka saving grace ko,
01:23.5
yung pag-uusap namin,
01:24.8
para ako nakakita ng pag-asa,
01:27.3
Sabi ko, Lord, ayoko na mag-artista.
01:30.0
Ibibigay ko na sa'yo pati pag-artista.
01:31.7
Pero may iyak ako.
01:32.6
Lord, ayoko nang unahin yung sarili ko.
01:35.5
Ayoko nang unahin.
01:36.6
Sabi ko, Lord, kung ano yung balak mo sa buhay ko,
01:38.4
gamitin mo na ako.
01:40.6
Paano mo nanganap si Lord sa kumumang?
01:42.8
Nagbibigay sila ng Bible.
01:44.7
Tapos bigla siya nagsalita,
01:45.8
kasi mabilis lang.
01:46.7
Bawal kasing silang magtagal doon.
01:50.6
si Lord, pinatawad na kayo.
01:54.3
Basta magsisilang kayo.
01:56.4
Parang habang nakikinig ako sa iyo,
01:59.1
kung kailan ka nakulong,
02:01.6
doon ka naman pinalaya ni God.
02:05.3
God has never forsaken me.
02:08.7
Wala akong ginawa buong buhay ko,
02:10.5
kundi sumamba ng lalaki.
02:14.7
Ang feeling ko, Savior ko.
02:16.5
Ito yung tunay mong Savior.
02:18.9
kung hindi ko nakakilala ang Panginoon,
02:20.4
dalawa lang ang pwede kong puntahan eh.
02:22.2
Lupa at saka muntin lupa.
02:24.3
Kung hindi ako patay,
02:26.4
Hindi ko na makita din yung sarili ko,
02:29.5
naggagawa pa ng ibang bagay,
02:31.5
maliban sa gawin,
02:33.0
yung nais ng Diyos na gawin ko
02:34.4
para sa ibang tao.
02:39.2
bugbog na bugbog na ako.
02:41.3
Ang galing niya, no?
02:44.4
may black book ka dyan,
02:46.3
ba't di ka sumulat?
02:48.6
so walang God, di ba?
02:51.8
I felt something.
02:54.8
It's the inner voice.
02:55.4
It's the inner voice.
02:57.8
sumabog yung video,
03:00.6
nakaschedule ka talagang
03:01.7
pumunta sa bahay ka.
03:03.4
oo, gusto ko silang makita.
03:05.1
Tapos parang siguro,
03:06.2
way na rin yun ni Lord
03:07.1
na parang nasabi niya na
03:09.4
wag ka mag-alala,
03:10.4
dadalhin kita dun sa lugar
03:11.8
na ma-fulfill mo na yung problema
03:13.4
yung sobrang liit lang.
03:14.7
In one of my prayers,
03:16.2
God spoke to me and God said,
03:18.0
what will you deny?
03:20.0
What self will you deny?
03:22.6
Wala ka pang self.
03:25.4
Let me heal your brokenness.
03:29.0
how to love yourself.
03:31.2
Tapos yung sinabi ng Panginoon sa akin,
03:36.4
Mahalin mo rin sarili mo.
03:38.4
The day before I committed suicide,
03:40.8
I was reading this passage that said,
03:44.5
be of sober spirit.
03:46.2
The devil prowls around
03:47.8
like a roaring lion
03:49.6
seeking someone to devour.
03:52.3
Nung nabasa ko yung verse na yun,
03:53.4
tinigil ko yung quiet time ko.
03:57.3
Sobra kong down na down ako.
04:00.5
binibigay mo na ako sa devil.
04:02.6
Wala na, na-depress na ako.
04:06.3
Kasi sa susunod na verse,
04:08.1
pinangako si Jesus Christ doon eh.
04:10.9
but I will hold you.
04:12.5
I will support you.
04:15.7
What keeps you together
04:18.3
Alam, hindi secret eh.
04:19.9
Si God lang talaga eh.
04:21.0
Alam mo, na-imagine ko yung buhay ko nga eh.
04:22.8
Kung wala si God.
04:24.7
Kung hindi na kami umabot ng isang taon.
04:27.0
When you know better,
04:27.8
you will do better.
04:29.0
So what do you know now
04:29.9
that you didn't know before?
04:32.8
Saan mo nahanap yung love?
